Virgin for the Woodsman - Eddie Clevelan...

Virgin For The Woodsman is my first book by Eddie Cleveland.  Mr. Cleveland has delivered a well-written book.  I love the characters and overall, I enjoyed the book.  There's plenty of drama, action, suspense and smokin' hot sexy bits to keep readers glued to their e-readers.  My problem is I'm not a fan of criminals being the hero of a book.  That's a personal preference though, so I'm trying to ignore my disapproval on that item.  Abbie and Cole's story is fast-paced.  I did enjoy this book and would read more from Eddie Cleveland but I would investigate first to make sure I'm not reading a book with heroes that are criminals.  I'm always afraid my own morals will get in the way of an impartial review.  Virgin For The Woodsman is a complete book, not a cliff-hanger.

This audio is like mixing up a big box of Kraft’s “cheesiest” macaroni when you are starving and too lazy to cook a real meal. You know it’s not good for you but it’s just so cheesy you can’t stop! Before you know it, you’ve downed the entire thing. Same goes for this audio.

Lily is on her way to meet her future husband who is some old coot with a lot of money who will keep her well. Never mind him though because she is way-laid (yep, I see what I did there) before that nightmare can happen. Her carriage has troubles and she meets a very large wolf/man who leads her back to a cottage where some sexy stuff happens but the lovefest is cut short due to a curse, or something, something that has to do with virginity. Lily was having fun and gets all sassy, even stomping her foot but Marrick (the wolf-man) stays strong. For a short while anyway and then things happen.

There is nothing unique about this story, it’s overly wordy and pretty corny. It’s not even super, sexy, hot. More like lukewarm and vanilla. Still, I found myself enjoying the audio production. It even has sound effects for ambiance! Usually these things bother me but it works well here because the levels are right. The crickets chirping in the background were especially soothing. There are two narrators and Honey Scarlett does such a fun job with Lily’s character that I couldn’t stop listening. Her accent was hilarious and spot on and I just loved listening to her. Leeroy Will’s delivery of Marrick suffers in comparison. His delivery wasn’t as good, the cadence was slightly off and at times his accent sounded a little like Shrek. Sorry, that’s my take.

Anyway, if you’re looking for an amusing, non-brain taxing way to spend two hours and 39 minutes you could do much worse than this!

I received a copy of this audiobook courtesy of the publisher and Audiobookboom. I hope they don't regret it!

@Mommy_Amers, #Adult, #Romance, 5 out of 5 (exceptional)

You like the idea of seven men? 

Here are some great Snow White Themed Romances for you! My lists are never in any particular order. 

1. The Fairest of Them All by Leanne Banks

Carly Pendleton doesn't need another overprotective man in her life—she already has seven brothers. So when her old friend Russ Bradford comes courting, she resists. He may be the stuff of feminine fantasies, but he's always been more protective than passionate toward her. And though he's suddenly tempting her to shed her innocence, she's not interested in giving up her hard-won independence—or having her heart broken.

Russ has a well-deserved reputation as a ladies' man, but he's ready to settle down and no one but the beautiful, sexy and kindhearted Carly will do. He's waited to make his move, but can be patient no longer. He's never wanted another woman like this, and so begins an all-out seduction. But can he win her heart?

2. Huntsman's Prey by Marie Hall

Rumors abound in Wonderland, of a dark princess named Chrysalis who bears the Moon's curse. Her beauty is beyond compare, and her madness… even greater than her father’s, The Hatter. Death follows wherever she roams, and Danika—fairy godmother of all villains—knows this task is too great for her to handle on her own. She has no choice but to seek out the one they call Huntsman, his mission is simple: Find the creature, and destroy it.

But nothing is ever so simple in Kingdom. The moment the hunter Aeric steps foot in the mad, twisted realm he's enveloped in a reality that is neither wholly true nor fantasy. The key, the Cheshire explains, to ending the madness is for one to become mad themselves. The Huntsman has one chance to figure out the riddle before the beauty destroys them all…

3. Six-Gun Snow White by Catherynne M. Valente

Forget the dark, enchanted forest. Picture instead a masterfully evoked Old West where you are more likely to find coyotes as the seven dwarves. Insert into this scene a plain-spoken, appealing narrator who relates the history of our heroine’s parents—a Nevada silver baron who forced the Crow people to give up one of their most beautiful daughters, Gun That Sings, in marriage to him. Although her mother’s life ended as hers began, so begins a remarkable tale: equal parts heartbreak and strength. This girl has been born into a world with no place for a half-native, half-white child. After being hidden for years, a very wicked stepmother finally gifts her with the name Snow White, referring to the pale skin she will never have. Filled with fascinating glimpses through the fabled looking glass and a close-up look at hard living in the gritty gun-slinging West, this is an utterly enchanting story…at once familiar and entirely new.

4. Snow White and the Vampire by Marina Myles

Alba Spencer thought her past in Romania and the dark magic that haunted it was behind her forever. She is one of the first female barristers now, safe in London. But London has its dark side, too. A man called the Ripper stalks the midnight streets. There are rumors that her hated stepmother has found her again, suggestions that the nightmares of her childhood are returning. And with them appears the cursed Gypsy boy she once loved, grown into a man more seductive and more terrifying than she ever could have dreamed. . .

Dimitri Grigorescu has become a surgeon, a gentleman—and a vampire. The lusts that drive his body are scarcely under control, and even he does not truly know what he is capable of. To fight evil and confusion, Alba must rely only on her wits—and a desire that overwhelms her doubts. . .

5. Rose Red by Flora Speer

After the murder of their father, sisters Bianca and Rosalinda, with their mother, flee to a villa in the northern Italian Alps, swearing revenge on their enemy, but when the son of the assassin appears at their door one stormy night, Rosalinda discovers her true destiny.

6. The Snow White Bride by Claire Delacroix

The Laird of Kinfairlie has helped his sisters, each a gem in her own right, to find husbands. Now the laird himself seeks to wed, and pins his hopes on The Snow White Bride.

Lady Eleanor knows better than to dream of romance and love. Married twice to secure her father’s alliances, she has learned that she is desirable only for her fortune. When the Laird of Kinfairlie’s sisters ask her to wed their brother, Alexander, Eleanor agrees, expecting only to save herself from danger.

But Alexander is like no man she’s known before, a man more interested in courting her smile than her obedience, a man who values her counsel as much as her newly awakened passion…and a man unaware that Eleanor is the key to a fortune that could ensure the future of everything he holds dear.

Now, ruthless enemies will stop at nothing to secure Eleanor’s capture. Will she dare to trust her new husband before it’s too late for her, for Alexander, and for Kinfairlie?

8. Crave: The Seduction of Snow White by Cathy Yardley

When a woman is ripe for the picking . . .

Beth Cordova's life is no fairy tale. Having barely escaped the evil grasp of her wicked stepmother, this "missing princess" seeks refuge in a strict commune where carnal pleasures are forbidden.

Sometimes just one bite of the apple . . .

Her world is lonely and void of intimacy, until the charming Stephen Trent arrives at the commune. Suddenly Beth yearns for a man's touch, the feel of his lips on hers . . . and Stephen is eager to show this pure-as-snow princess that she can still be the sensual woman she was once upon a time.

Is all it takes to unleash her desires . . .

But all is not what it seems, and the stunning beauty finds herself again in danger, her stepmother hot on her trail. The commune's founders will not tolerate the pair, yet fleeing its walls could prove fatal. Trapped in a world where passion is outlawed, can Beth live happily ever after?

8. Eight Men And A Lady by Elizabeth Sinclair

Recent lottery winner Jackie Barrett wanted peace and quiet away from the newshounds and the endless stream of suitors who were offering her one absurd marriage proposal after another. So, when she awakened from her nap in her brother's cabin to find seven men staring down at her, she felt more than just a little like Snow White. It was just too bad that bachelor #8 was the prince who kissed her awake—because sexy Mike Hamilton had everything on his mind but marriage!

9. Miss Whiting And the Seven Wards by Lynn Collum

For best friends Sara, Ella, and Rosamond, life thus far has been any-thing but a fairy tale. Left to grow up at Mrs. Parson's Academy for Girls, they have little to look forward to upon graduation--not even a Season in London! But, as each young lady is about to learn, Fate, for all her fickleness, is sometimes kind--and happy endings may be found in the most unexpected places...

MIRROR, MIRROR, ON THE WALL...

For Miss Sara Whiting, the only thing harder than parting ways with her two best school chums is returning to a loveless home. Although she is aware of her stepmother's money-grubbing ways, Sara never suspects that the lady would turn to violence. But after a suspicious assault, she awakens to find herself in a warm bed in a cozy cottage--rescued by seven young boys in need of a savior of their own...

...WHO WILL BE THE FIRST TO FALL?

War wounds have effectively retired Sir Evan Beaumont from his soldiering career, while his betrothed has jilted him in favor of a wealthy baron. To make matters worse, he owes a favor to the man who saved his life--namely to evict a widow and her children from his friend's property. But when Evan goes to investigate the tenants, he finds himself charmed by both the cottage and its inhabitants--particularly the lovely young woman whom he can't quite believe is the mother of seven strapping sons. The more time Evan spends with the lady, the more he suspects a secret... and the more he loses his heart.. .

10. The Magic Mirror and the Seventh Dwarf by Tia Nevitt

Prince Richard is cursed. Enslaved to a magic mirror, he must truthfully answer the evil queen when she uses it to call on him. To keep from betraying innocents, Richard wanders the countryside and avoids people.

All her life, Gretchen has been teased for being small. When she hears of a hidden farm populated by little people like her, she sets out to find it--and is welcomed by the mostly male inhabitants. Lars in particular woos her with his gentle kindness and quiet strength.

Princess Ange has a year before she is to inherit her throne from her strange and cruel stepmother. She lives as a servant in her own home, and the townsfolk call her the Tattered Princess. She often flees her stepmother's cruelty by visiting her friends at the Little Farm, and there, Gretchen and Ange strike up an unlikely friendship.

When Richard finds the queen of the magic mirror, he never expects to fall in love with a scullery maid that works in the castle. And when he discovers her to be none other than the Tattered Princess, he is determined to help her. Then, Richard is compelled to tell the queen that she is no longer the fairest of them all. Enraged, the queen vows to find and destroy them.

If either Gretchen or Richard are to have their happy endings, they must team up to break the mirror's spell before the queen kills them all...

Have any more? Let me know! And vote on my Goodreads list: Snow White Themed Romance Novels

Toad Words and Other Stories is a collection of three poems and eight stories. Almost all of them feature familiar tales that have been twisted or tweaked somehow. Be warned, my review spoils some of those twists.

If you like the cover, I should mention that there's a cute toad illustration on the title page as well.

“It Has Come To My Attention”

A poem about a person who isn't interested in the aspects of fairy tales that they're supposed to be. This was okay, but, honestly, I'm not a poetry person.

“Toad Words”

This story is a twist on the “Diamonds and Toads” tale, in which one daughter speaks and jewels fall out of her mouth and one speaks and toads fall out of her mouth. In this version, neither daughter is a particularly terrible person, and both have long since adjusted to their gift/curse. The POV character is the one who speaks and frogs and toads fall out of her mouth. When she learns that various amphibians are going extinct, she decides to do something about it.

This was nice and actually made me wish a curse like that could exist. The main character certainly made the best use of it that she could.

“The Wolf and the Woodsman”

In this “Little Red Riding Hood” retelling, a little girl called Turtle goes to her grandmother's house only to find her grandmother and a wolf waiting together for the woodsman, a man her grandmother had gotten to know and who had become increasingly controlling and violent.

So in this retelling we have the wolf reimagined as the grandmother's friend, and the woodsman reimagined as a threatening figure whose disturbing behavior has been escalating. I liked it, even though it was pretty predictable once I realized how everyone's roles had been tweaked. This was the first story that made it clear that these fairy tales were Not For Kids.

“Bluebeard's Wife”

Based on the “Bluebeard” story. Bluebeard's last wife had grown up with sisters who never respected her privacy, so she was determined to respect her husband's. When he mentioned that there was a locked door in their manor that she must never open, she never opened it and, as a result, had many pleasant years with her husband. It wasn't until after his death that she learned what he had been hiding.

One thing I liked about these retellings is that they looked at how these characters might react to their stories if they were real people. Althea, Bluebeard's last wife, was a person trying to reconcile the decent husband she'd lived with for 27 years with the horrors she later learned he'd been hiding, that she'd only escaped because she'd allowed him his privacy. I really felt for her.

“Loathly”

A “Loathly Lady” story told from the perspective of the loathly lady. This story was dark. The main character was turned into a monster, forced by magic to kill, and eventually forced to rape a man who agreed to terrible things in order to survive. Then she was raped by him after she transformed back into a human.

I had to take a break after reading this one. “The Wolf and the Woodsman” was dark, but at least the ending had some justice in it. This was just dark and heavy and left me feeling horrified for all the characters.

“The Sea Witch Sets the Record Straight”

This one is based on “The Little Mermaid.” The sea witch explains that she didn't take the mermaid's voice for herself, but rather to keep the girl from blabbing all the ocean's secrets to the prince.

Like “Toad Words,” this story has a bit of an environmental twist to it. The lighter tone was a great relief after “Loathly.” Although the sea witch was still a little villainous, she wasn't unkind. The mermaid was a bit silly and tragic, but there was still a chance that she could go back to her old life.

“Never”

A chilling reimagining of Peter Pan as a monster and a tyrant, from the perspective of a girl in his “Lost Boys” gang.

Yeah, I don't think there's a happy ending for this POV character, although I wish there were. The author did a great job twisting Peter Pan into something horrible that still fit within the framework of the original story.

“Bait”

One of the collection's three poems. I think it might be based on “The Snow Queen.” It was okay, but, again, I'm not really a poetry person.

“Night”

One of the few stories in this collection that isn't based on and doesn't reference any stories (as far as I know). It pictures “Night” as a theater production that has been going on for billions of years. I thought it was cute, and one of the most quotable stories in the whole collection. My favorite: “The excitement, that first time when there, in the third row, a self-replicating amino acid was spotted, clutching its ticket and peering around with the nearsightedness of something that lacks sense organs, and which can only be called an organism in the loosest sense of the word. It couldn't see the show, and the show couldn't see it without a microscope, but still, the tension in the air was electric.” (57)

“Boar & Apples”

A “Snow White” retelling. I'm pretty sure this was the longest story out of the bunch.

I loved the efforts of the huntsman and the other servants to quietly defy their increasingly cruel and disturbed queen. I liked Arrin, and although Snow started off as a fairly “blah” character, she gradually grew stronger and more capable. And the pigs were a great twist on the “seven dwarves” aspect.

Although it felt like the ending happened too soon and was a bit too sudden, I still really enjoyed this retelling. Even if I hadn't liked any of the other stories, I think Toad Words and Other Stories would have been worth it for this story alone.

“Odd Season”

After “Boar & Apples,” this poem was a letdown. To be honest, I didn't really get it. I felt it was the weakest work in the entire collection.

(Original review posted on A Library Girl's Familiar Diversions.)