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Search tags: ya-mental-health
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quote 2017-10-30 02:06
I'm scared that I don't matter , even a little bit and no one matters and nothing matters . I'm scared that it all matters and I'm fucking it up . I'm scared I'm living my short short life wrong in every possible way . I'm scared I've already made so many mistakes and I dont have enough time to fix them . I'm scared I won't die with the slightest amount of dignity ,like on the toilet or watching bravo . I'm scared no one will care when I do . I'm scared that the only person I ever loved wasn't real . I'm scared I will never get over him . And I'm scared I'm making the same mistake again.
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quote 2017-10-30 01:14
so what's the point of what we do ? I asked if we can't provide that.
Well... He said . He handed me a napkin for my tears. Maybe part of its just to reaffirm to people.
Reaffirm what ?
He looked away and scratched his chin , covered in black and gray stubble . Then he met my eyes again , and for once he didnt look like a sad clown . He looked serious .
that we don't need as much closure as we think we do .
Page 187
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review 2017-10-22 18:15
Little Star, by John Ajvide Lindqvist
Little Star: A Novel - John Ajvide Lindqvist

After seeing the recent adaptation of Stephen King's It, I was inspired to delve into a big, fat horror novel (I already read It a few summers ago); plus, 'tis the season. John Ajvide Lindqvist has been referred to as Sweden's Stephen King, and I can see why. What I like most about King's writing is his characterization: characters feel like real people, no matter how fantastical, or evil. Little Star is my second Lindqvist novel, and he has a similar gift for creating engaging characters.

 

In some ways, though, I find his horror even more frightening than King's. He has a way of providing the details that are often skipped over in horror movies, such as the way the human body reacts to terror. Acts of violence are shockingly brutal (early in the novel a husband savagely breaks his wife's kneecap). He also appears to be interested in children as protagonists, especially girls. Little Star, like Let the Right One In, the other Lindqvist novel I read, features two children as the characters who drive the narrative. One (Theres) does not seem to be quite human (like the vampire in the latter novel), while the other (Theresa) is a human who is an outcast (like the boy who befriends the vampire). Each one's story is told separately at first, including their parents' points of view, until they meet--virtually and then in person. At this point we know the two will be frightening together.

 

Much of this novel details the angst and alienation of young girls, which can be painful to read if you're a woman who felt like an outsider at some point during your childhood. That alienation is weaponized; it's a freight train whose collision you can't stop but also can't look away from. It reminded me of Dietland, which I read a while ago and is not a horror novel, or even Kill the Boy Band and The Girls. I suppose I'm drawn to stories where patriarchal suppression erupts in violence.

 

I was left with a question or two, including Theres's origins (she's left to die as an infant in a forest before being discovered) and the red smoke she and the girls feed on. I also wanted a bit more of Theres's adoptive mother's perspective at the beginning.

 

Despite these questions, this novel shocked, disturbed, and awed me. I tore through it. AND I learned about several Swedish pop stars!

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quote 2017-10-19 07:43
I want you to take your picture and send it to me
Its a little dark
Turn on a light , genius
Should I send it to you now
I'm going to hang up , I said , and then you're going to send it to me . But there's one last thing .
What ?
I want you to be naked in the picture .
More silence
Its only fair . I think you know that .
I didn't wait for a response . I just ended the call. And I fully expected that he would call right back and try to argue his way out of it . But he didn't do that . And as time passed at this rate about an hour per second, I wondered maybe if it was better if he didn't do it
It would give me a chance to break contact , to prove that he never really wanted to be on even ground with me .
What does a true liar do , after all , when you ask him to stand naked .
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quote 2017-10-19 07:25
You can't just run away from your grief . you have to deal with it head on . no matter how difficult and strange it is . we both took a drink of coffee. There are no shortcuts she said . you have to do the hard stuff before it gets any easier.
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