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review 2014-02-25 15:13
What was I thinking? *shakes head*
Bigfoot, You ARE the Father! - Bytch Williams

Ok.  Yeah.  What did I expect from a book called "Bigfoot You Are The Father"?


Well, I probably expected Bigfoot to be the father.  I should've expected to be wrong.


This is supposed to be an erotic parody, which I would take to mean it should be funny.  It wasn't funny in the sense that I was rolling around on the floor in hysterics.  It was funny in the sense that it was so freaking weird that I didn't know what to do with myself.


This girl, Denitra.  Ooh boy!  She likes her monsters, I mean, she really likes her monsters.


She's on the Murray Slobitch Show (yup, you read it right) to find out who her baby daddy is.


Given the fact that the contenders for fatherhood are Bigfoot, Tokeloshe, Chupacabra and an Icelandic Elf, you should be able to look at the kid and see who the father is.


Denitra flashbacks to to her erotic encounters with the monsters, all except for Bigfoot, which I kind of wanted to read after all the others.


At any rate... I'm gonna spoil this for you here -- true to trash tv form -- none of them are the father.  No more spoiling, I won't tell you who the father is.  


After all of that though, where do we find Denitra at the end of the book?  Ack!  She's sucking off a Yeti while getting done from behind by Murray Slobitch.


Bwahaha... ok, yeah.  That is funny!

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review 2014-02-17 17:40
Purely Cray Cray
Butt-Blasted by the Banshee (Monster Quickie) - Bytch Williams

I liked this only slightly more than Dicked by the Dybbuk.


So, Morrigan is this crazy bird/woman thing and Ashlyn is this cray cray chick that gets off on having her super giant vibrator slammed into her behind.  


I mean, its all ok as long as Morrigan doesn't turn into a bird while she's doing her.


I do have a question, though.  Did Morrigan get off?  Or was what happened at the end enough for her/it?

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review 2014-02-17 17:28
so... I had to look up what a dybbuk was before I read this
Dicked by the Dybbuk (Monster Quickie) - Bytch Williams

Well, what can I say, I'm not up to speed on all my monsters.


Dirty hobos aside, this was alright.


I cringed at the thought of sucking dirty hobo peen.  Think of all the fromunda!  I think I just threw up a little.


Couldn't he have been a hot, not so dirty hobo?  Huh, guess not.  It wouldn't have the same effect.


And in the end, chica was kinda smug about the whole thing.

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text 2014-02-07 05:13
My Ode to Weird Shit (AKA "Baby got Bytch")
Ohkay.  In honor of my earlier post about weird shit, here goes.  And please... its late, I'm tired, and feeling really abnormal.
Baby got Bytch
(Bytch Williams is the author of the books in my post about weird shit)
I like weird shit and I cannot lie
You other weirdos can't deny
That when a book shows up with a crazy-ass name
And a monster's peen in your face
You get hooked, gotta see that stuff
'Cause you wonder if the banshee used cuffs
I wanna see all these odd pairings
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh bigfoot, is it really your baby
or the Dybbuk's maybe
Mrs. Claus tried to warn me
That Santa's really horny
Ooh, furry she-wolf
You say you wanna get in her muff
You're crazy and amuse me
'Cause you ain't that average story
I've seen Slender killin'
To hell with chillin'
They're scary and big
and weirder than a monkey-pig
I'm tired of normals
Sayin' monster peens aren't the thing
To the weirdo readers its a blast
While the normal readers are aghast
So, weirdos! (Yeah!) weirdos! (Yeah!)
Has your bookshelf got the Bytch? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to read it! (Read it!) Read it! (Read it!)
Read that crazy Bytch!
Baby got Bytch!
(Slenderman face with a Bigfoot booty)
Baby got Bytch!
And if you're curious about a monkey pig...
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