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review 2015-04-28 00:00
We Were Liars
We Were Liars - E. Lockhart


We Were Liars by E. Lockhart

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

There's a ridiculous amount of feels and tears right now. Lots of angst.

 

We Were Liars is about Cadence Sinclair Easton, one of THE Sinclairs. The clan is tall, square chinned, and dripping old money. They are perfect, happy, and always right. At least, this is what Cadence tells us in the first chapter.Actually, very little is how it seems as first. Cadence is most definitely an unreliable narrator. She has selective amnesia and is on high doses of pain killers thanks to an accident that no one wants to talk about.

 

In a lot of ways, I felt sorry for poor little rich Cadence with her God complex grandfather and WASP-y mother. Especially when I read things like this:

It tasted like salt and failure. The bright red shame of being unloved soaked the grass in front of our house, the bricks of the path, the steps to the porch.

She made me act normal. Because I was. Because I could. She told me to breathe and sit up.And I did what she asked. Again.”“Don’t cause distress, she said. Don’t remind people of a loss. “Do you understand, Cady? Silence is a protective coating over pain.

There’s nothing in our whole house that says he ever lived with us, except me. Why are you allowed to erase my father and I’m not allowed to—”“Erase yourself?” Mummy says.

But, then we get glimpses of how Cadence was before the mysterious accident. How she behaves with those closest to her, cousins Johnny and Mirrin, and love interest, Gat. She was a bit of a bitch, oblivious to those 'beneath' her.

 

We, the reader, eventually learn about the mysterious accident, which caused a sea of tears (from me). The writing was beautiful, the plot interesting, the characters varied and multifaceted. I was very, very impressed. Would I read it again? Probably not, but I enjoyed the prose and would recommend it to others.

 

View all my reviews

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review 2014-02-25 15:13
What was I thinking? *shakes head*
Bigfoot, You ARE the Father! - Bytch Williams

Ok.  Yeah.  What did I expect from a book called "Bigfoot You Are The Father"?

 

Well, I probably expected Bigfoot to be the father.  I should've expected to be wrong.

 

This is supposed to be an erotic parody, which I would take to mean it should be funny.  It wasn't funny in the sense that I was rolling around on the floor in hysterics.  It was funny in the sense that it was so freaking weird that I didn't know what to do with myself.

 

This girl, Denitra.  Ooh boy!  She likes her monsters, I mean, she really likes her monsters.

 

She's on the Murray Slobitch Show (yup, you read it right) to find out who her baby daddy is.

 

Given the fact that the contenders for fatherhood are Bigfoot, Tokeloshe, Chupacabra and an Icelandic Elf, you should be able to look at the kid and see who the father is.

 

Denitra flashbacks to to her erotic encounters with the monsters, all except for Bigfoot, which I kind of wanted to read after all the others.

 

At any rate... I'm gonna spoil this for you here -- true to trash tv form -- none of them are the father.  No more spoiling, I won't tell you who the father is.  

 

After all of that though, where do we find Denitra at the end of the book?  Ack!  She's sucking off a Yeti while getting done from behind by Murray Slobitch.

 

Bwahaha... ok, yeah.  That is funny!

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review 2014-02-17 03:07
Lusty Aliens???
Future Escort - Carl East

 

What this book has?

 

1. Horny human.

2. Horny aliens.

3. Copious amounts of alien cum.

4. Human/Alien threesome, or is it a fourteensome (just a guess)?

 

There were so many cum spouts flailing around I couldn't keep up with how many there were.

 

And the little robots that get you squeaky clean after your cum shower.  Yay!

 

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review 2013-06-09 00:00
Some Crazy Fucking Shit That Happened One Day
Some Crazy Fucking Shit That Happened One Day - Bryan Smith I don't give out 5 star ratings easy. An author has to work for it. What a story!! Satanic cheerleaders, undead Nazis, and an extremely unusual series of events. Visually amazing and fun. This isn't for everyone but if you aren't easily offended download this short and strap in for a fun ride.
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