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review 2014-09-27 03:27
My Lactation Consultant Is A Lesbian Werewolf
My Lactation Consultant is a Lesbian Werewolf (Banged by Famous Monsters) - Bytch Williams

it's FREE as of today 9/26/14. Grab it at your own peril!


Part of the "banged by famous monsters series" (these not so famous ones may appear at a later date, perhaps? I guess we can only hold out hope because I'd love to read a story about the  Ahuizotl what with its handy dandy "murder hand"or the Mongolian Death Worm! ) this ebook contains 27 fetish filled pages sure to permanently and forever shut down any romantic longings you may secretly be harboring for werewolves. Or not . . . Who am I to say?


This is a weird one and features an interesting take on silencing an annoying husband. It's bloody and messy and mixes sex and gore and lactation (yeah, really) in a ridiculously over the top manner. If this is your idea of sexy get yourself a copy. I won't judge.


If you happen to pick this up, say purely for curiosity's sake as I did, and you happen to like it a little bit, well you have no one to blame but yourself!

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review 2014-03-02 04:56
Bigfoot, You ARE the Father! - Bytch Williams

Im totally digging these monster quickies! 

Denitra Addams goes onto the Murray Slobitch Show to find the father of her three month only baby. She has four potential sperm donors. Chupacabra, Bigfoot, Icelandic Elf and the Tokeloshe

I got exactly what I was expecting. A parody of the Maury Povich and Jerry Springer show with a freaky Xrated monster twist. You have your classic cast of characters; woman who sleeps around with a long list of potential daddies who just happen to be horny monsters. Don't forget the crazy and obnoxious audience that goes ballistic with cheers and boos. 

freak out

yeti fight

We get Denitra's flash backs with each of the monsters and they are weirdly hot. I was super disappointed that we didn't get a Bigfoot flashback. I mean... its in the title and we don't even get the most famous monster of them all. 

scared and horny

Overall, it was funny but more of a SALTS kind of funny (smiled a little then stopped). The sex was stupid but totally erotic. The story is quick and entertaining. I would recommend this to my friends if they are looking or something off the wall silly, completely unbelievable and pornographic. 

Silly Quotes:
"Her burgeoning breasts jiggling as she lunged for my crotch. Before I could even process what was happening, she was tearing ravenously at my fly, unzipping me and pulling out my engorged manflesh."

"I don't care how many monsters you've fucked, you're a real beast."

"You'll have to wait your turn, Murray," she said, slipping the Yeti dick back in her mouth."

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review 2014-02-25 15:13
What was I thinking? *shakes head*
Bigfoot, You ARE the Father! - Bytch Williams

Ok.  Yeah.  What did I expect from a book called "Bigfoot You Are The Father"?


Well, I probably expected Bigfoot to be the father.  I should've expected to be wrong.


This is supposed to be an erotic parody, which I would take to mean it should be funny.  It wasn't funny in the sense that I was rolling around on the floor in hysterics.  It was funny in the sense that it was so freaking weird that I didn't know what to do with myself.


This girl, Denitra.  Ooh boy!  She likes her monsters, I mean, she really likes her monsters.


She's on the Murray Slobitch Show (yup, you read it right) to find out who her baby daddy is.


Given the fact that the contenders for fatherhood are Bigfoot, Tokeloshe, Chupacabra and an Icelandic Elf, you should be able to look at the kid and see who the father is.


Denitra flashbacks to to her erotic encounters with the monsters, all except for Bigfoot, which I kind of wanted to read after all the others.


At any rate... I'm gonna spoil this for you here -- true to trash tv form -- none of them are the father.  No more spoiling, I won't tell you who the father is.  


After all of that though, where do we find Denitra at the end of the book?  Ack!  She's sucking off a Yeti while getting done from behind by Murray Slobitch.


Bwahaha... ok, yeah.  That is funny!

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review 2014-02-17 17:40
Purely Cray Cray
Butt-Blasted by the Banshee (Monster Quickie) - Bytch Williams

I liked this only slightly more than Dicked by the Dybbuk.


So, Morrigan is this crazy bird/woman thing and Ashlyn is this cray cray chick that gets off on having her super giant vibrator slammed into her behind.  


I mean, its all ok as long as Morrigan doesn't turn into a bird while she's doing her.


I do have a question, though.  Did Morrigan get off?  Or was what happened at the end enough for her/it?

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review 2014-02-17 17:28
so... I had to look up what a dybbuk was before I read this
Dicked by the Dybbuk (Monster Quickie) - Bytch Williams

Well, what can I say, I'm not up to speed on all my monsters.


Dirty hobos aside, this was alright.


I cringed at the thought of sucking dirty hobo peen.  Think of all the fromunda!  I think I just threw up a little.


Couldn't he have been a hot, not so dirty hobo?  Huh, guess not.  It wouldn't have the same effect.


And in the end, chica was kinda smug about the whole thing.

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