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review 2017-05-27 01:19
Fortunately, I've posted a new review
Fortunately, the Milk - Neil Gaiman,Skottie Young

Fortunately, the Milk by Neil Gaiman with illustrations by Skottie Young is simply delightful. It's hard for me to decide which was more enjoyable: the writing or the drawings. Honestly, I think that the reason I enjoyed this book so much was that the two of them paired so well together. This is exactly the kind of story that an imaginative parent would tell their child and embellish over time. The main character of this book is a father who is left alone to watch the kids and who goes out to get milk for breakfast and takes forever to get back home.When he finally returns he spins an impossible yarn to explain his tardiness to his extremely skeptical children. Anyone who has read Gaiman's writing knows that he's an absolutely wonderful fantasy author but it's his sense of humor that makes this book unique. Maybe you've heard of 'dad jokes' before? Well, this is basically one big dad joke accompanied by super cute ink illustrations. 10/10 on all fronts.

 

I absolutely love the illustrations by Skottie Young. This is another one of those books where you want to hang up the illustrations on the wall of your house...at least I do.

Source: readingfortheheckofit.blogspot.com
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review 2017-04-05 02:50
Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road?
A Freudian Slip is When You Say One Thing But Mean Your Mother - Gary Blake

I think I've called this book everything but it's actual name when talking about it to other people and that's probably because it has quite the title: A Freudian Slip is When You Say One Thing but Mean Your Mother: 879 Funny, Funky, Hip, and Hilarious Puns by Gary Blake. If you think the title is a mouthful you should take a peek at what's inside. It's absolute chock full of punny goodness. My mom left this with me nearly a year ago with turned down pages and highlights of her favorite jokes (this is so her type of humor). I enjoyed employing them on unsuspecting coworkers and watching their eyes roll into their back of their heads at the corniness (and sometimes incomprehensibility). 

 

To give you a taste of what I'm talking about here's one from page 211:

Did you hear about the guy who was hit in the head by a bottle of soda? Lucky for him, it was a soft drink.

Cue all of your friends either nominating you for an award because you used this on them or they might actually whack you upside the head with an actual bottled beverage. I must also caution that there are some rather problematic jokes in this book (the argument could be made that he doesn't pull any punches toward any group of people). Also, if you're not particularly hip to the political jibe (as I'm not) then some of these aren't going to make a lot of sense. I think this is one of those books that you come to every now and again but I wonder how many people sit down and read it cover-to-cover as mom and I have done...unless they're trying to get some new jokes under their belt. ;-)

 

PS The answer to the joke in the title of today's post: It wanted to lay it on the line.

Source: readingfortheheckofit.blogspot.com
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review 2017-02-10 19:42
The World's Greatest Collection of Dad Jokes More Than 500 of the Punniest Jokes Dads Love to Tell
 
Wonderful book this edition of The World's Greatest Collection of Dad Jokes More Than 500 of the Punniest Jokes Dads Love to Tell by Barbour Publishing.

This book will be released on April First, and you will find truly truly hilarious jokes, for all tastes and ages. 

Some of them pretty known but all of them remarkably funny, there will be a good laugh for all the family. 

Jokes are organized in sections so that you can find them with great simplicity discovering for every occasion the best joke to tell to your friends or to the rest of your family, for building memories with a laugh or a good smile or for enjoying a special moment of relaxation all together. 

Many thanks to NetGalley and Barbour for this book.
Source: alfemminile.blogspot.it
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text 2017-01-02 14:07
23 Adult Truths

 

 

1. Sometimes I'll look at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day..

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

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text 2016-07-26 01:23
Kid Stuff

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.


TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.


TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
TEACHER: No,that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

(I Love this kid)


TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.


TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!


TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.


TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘ I.’
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE: All right… ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’


TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.


TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.


TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It’s the same dog.


TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

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