Adapted from the new inspirational self-help book entitled, ‘From Broken to Blest: Embracing the Healing that Awaits You’ by Adele M. Gill and Dr. Verna Benner Carson.

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Clinical depression is on the rise in the US, with over 21 million Americans diagnosed with depression each year. Most people are able to get treatment that is readily available, including medication and/or psychotherapy. Many come to understand the origin of their depression over time, however, sometimes they only have a vague idea as to why they are experiencing persistent clinical depression, sometimes combined with what I call ‘the trifecta: ’Depression, PTSD, and a neuro-autoimmune condition, such as MS or MG or fibromyalgia, which often go hand-in-hand.

For those individuals who don’t know the origin of their depression, looking back on their childhood may be extremely helpful, even life-giving. Understanding the negative effects of untreated childhood trauma can be life-giving, even life-saving, especially when depression affects ones physical health. Here is my story involving the telltale signs of childhood trauma in my own life:

Having endured physical, sexual, and mental abuse in my youth, I came to doubt my own existence, and self-worth. Though resolved, the truth is that my self-esteem was always an issue as I grew up in poverty with my abusive schizophrenic mother, and my father who was involved in the Mafia, who took me with him while doing ‘business.’

In my youth, and later into adulthood, I felt depressed, anxious, and ‘less than’ more often than I care to admit, which colored the way I looked at myself, others, and the world at-large—but I did not understand why I felt that way. I was diagnosed with depression in early adulthood, but chose not to treat it, in part, due to the stigma associated with psychiatric illness and care, and I did not want to take depression meds. At that time, I was unsure as to why I had depression in the first place, as my life was going well and I was living my dream of becoming a wife, mother and registered nurse. But eventually I learned that it was repressed and suppressed memories related to my childhood that were making me sick.

Looking back, the mind-body illnesses I experienced could have been anticipated given my unusual, traumatic upbringing, but I was initially not yet in touch with the untreated childhood trauma I had endured. My memories were blocked until I started having flashbacks and nightmares about 10 years ago, and the root of the problem became crystal clear. It was not one event that caused the trauma and stress. It was my early family life itself, and a series of traumatic life events that made me sick physically and emotionally later in adulthood.

The enduring effects of untreated childhood trauma became so intense that I frequently felt overwhelmed, lost, and alone much of the time, having lived in daily turmoil and poverty through my youth, with little encouragement or emotional support. And that carried over into my adulthood years, as my own ‘trifecta,’ the tell-tale signs of untreated childhood trauma, rolled in over time: Unrelenting depression, childhood associated PTSD, and a serious neuro-autoimmune disorder, which often go hand in hand.

The latter is what forced me to look closely at my traumatic childhood for what it was—something I had avoided at all costs. In truth, I had little choice but to seek the truth, as my physical and emotional health depended on it. Eventually, I learned from my medical team that my autoimmune system had been damaged by the early childhood trauma, and that, in turn, was damaging my central nervous system.  I finally got to the point where I could no longer deny things that had happened to me. What had transpired in my youth was making me chronically and acutely ill, both physically and emotionally, and I could no longer function in my daily life. I had met the proverbial wall, so to speak. I could not work, could not walk even short distances without long arm crutches, then a walker, then it progressed, and I was bedridden and in a wheelchair for twelve years, had blurred vision, and garbled speech much of the time. Mind-body illnesses had taken over my life and I no longer had the privilege of pushing aside the memories of the trauma that had occurred. I found myself very sick with depression, PTSD, mobility impairment, and exacerbations of respiratory muscle weakness and generalized weakness requiring a home bipap ventilator 14-16 hours per twenty four hour day.

Once my medical team and I made the connection between untreated childhood trauma and the mind-body illnesses, there was no turning back. I had to heal, and to do so, I had to face where I had been and what I had experienced in my youth, painful as it was. Though I still have neuro-autoimmune exacerbations and remissions, and frequently receive IV steroids and IVIG treatments to quell symptoms when in acute need of medical care, I now have a new life since dealing with the untreated childhood trauma.

Most of all, I have hope now. For it is only with Jesus’ help that I was able to heal from the depression and PTSD, begin to flourish, and get on with my life. I believe it was faith that healed me through the prayers of many people who prayed fervently for me and continue to this day. What a tremendous blessing…the gift of faith!

© Copyright 2018   |   Adele M. Gill   |   Distributed by News Consortium

To be continued… See PART II:

'Telltale Signs of Untreated Childhood Trauma: Secret Weapons for Healing’

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Adele M. Gill resides in Maryland, is a retired RN/BSN, a board certified Disability Analyst (ABDA), a Chaplain, and co-author of the new inspirational self-help book entitled, ‘From Broken to Blest: Embracing the Healing that Awaits You.' She is a tireless mental health advocate living in Maryland.

I had the good fortune of critiquing Burnt Edges by Dana Leipold during a writer’s workshop and then later received a copy to review. People who know me know I don’t write reviews for stories I don’t like. I’m just not a professional reviewer. A story needs to move me to get me to write a review for it. And that brings me to my decision to review Burnt Edges.

It is not an easy story. At times it was difficult and painful to read because of the subject matter, but that says more about the author’s ability in conveying the protagonist Laurel Page’s story, in sketching her emotional evolution, than anything else.

I thought this was a really well written story that keeps you reading despite your own attempts not to, especially when some of the things happening to the main character becomes too much to bear. It forces you to stay in there with the character and endure with her. You stay with her to the end because you want to know more, you want to know what happens to her and how her childhood will shape her future and her life as a mommy to be. You will fall in love with Laurel’s strength and character. Trust me.

The author has a sobering voice that is clear and precise with the rare ability to convey much emotion with very little ornamentation. This is not a story filled with purple prose, but a gritty, emotionally raw exploration of childhood trauma told in plain language.

Five stars indeed.

I watched the 1978 cartoon adaptation of Watership Down when I was quite young, under 10 years old. I wasn't told beforehand that the film wasn't going to be your typical cartoon adventure about rabbits, so the mature themes and, particularly, the brutality and bloodshed left an indelible mark on my growing brain. There are frames from this film that I can still see clearly in my mind's eye decades after viewing it.

I've always been curious about the book and, for reasons unknowable to me, I just recently got around to picking it up. Based on my memories of the film version, I was expecting Game of Thrones with rabbits. I was expecting a relentless parade of death and despair. This isn't what I got. Yes, this is a mature book, and it is realistic and honest about the rabbit's place in the world, and it certainly doesn't shy away from the realities of their place in the food chain. But I was expecting crushing tragedy after crushing tragedy, and what I got was a much more balanced depiction of the rabbit's life.



I wasn't disappointed that my expectations didn't match this book's contents.



This was a slower read for me. But this, I have to admit can be, at least in part, attributed to the circumstances surrounding my reading of the book. I was extremely busy while reading this, and the only time I had to read was just before bed. The book didn't keep me up. I was out in under fifteen minutes almost every night (after the old Kindle slapped me in the face multiple times as I nodded off). But, structurally, it didn't feel like a novel. It felt like a collection of interconnected stories (or a fix-up) until about the halfway mark, when we're, at long last, introduced to the book's central conflict. Another aspect of the book that slowed it down for me was the stories within the story about rabbit folklore. These stories, in themselves, I found entertaining, but they did kill the momentum for me every time.



Overall, I enjoyed this book a great deal, and I think it will be one that will stick in my memory for years to come. It's a rich book with a layered narrative. There are beautiful passages sprinkled throughout. An obvious respect for nature and a passion for nature's beauty serves as a nice contrast to the harrowing events of the story. The narrative is at first biblical in tone, then dystopian. It veers suddenly into a heist story, returns again to dystopian mode, and finally settles into a tale of all-out resource war. Sprinkled between all of these shifts in narrative structure, there are stories within the main story, stories told between rabbits: their creation myths, tall tales of their legendary heroes, stories of what lies beyond death and the Black Rabbit who is waiting there to greet all rabbits when they stop running.



I'd certainly recommend this book. However, know that this is one to be sipped, not gulped.

...from when I was about seven years old until I was in my early thirties.