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review 2018-12-23 02:16
Book Review: The Art Of Falling In Love by Eli Summers
The Art Of Falling In Love - Eli Summers

There be spoilers. I'm pretty pissed off at the moment. What a waste of time this was.

CW: Homophobia, racism, cheating, and sexual assault.

I only liked Holden. And even he was an idiot. But I could empathize with this struggles - coming to terms with his feelings for another boy, figuring out that he's bi-sexual (though I'm not sure why he'd think that, since he hasn't even had a girlfriend), and dealing with being bullied at school, on top of living with an asshole father and a doormat mother, unable to live up to his Golden Boy older brother, who was much less an asshole than I expected based on how his character was initially set up. Holden's best friend of 14 years (Tiffany) is abandoning him for a boy, though I'm honestly not even sure why Holden thought of her as his friend in the first place - she was nothing but a bitch to him. 

All the characters in his book are one-dimensional card board cutouts. You have the rich boy jerkface who thinks he can throw his daddy's money in everyone's face, the bitchy-only female, the pedophile principal (ew, ew, ew, what the fuck was that shit, touching Holden inappropriately, talking about blow jobs to make a record go away, and then comparing his dick to Aaron's whose dick he presumably knows NOTHING about), and the cheating daddy fucking Holden's best friend, who's - you guessed it - suddenly pregnant.

None of the characters, including Aaron, the love interest, made any fucking sense with their actions. Not a single one. Not Holden thinking he can just go to the city and enroll in college, and find a job that will pay him enough to cover his cost of living, not Aaron, whose pillow talk was the most ridiculous thing I've ever read in a romance novel, not Jeff, the jerkface, not Tiffany, the bitch, not the principal (what the FUCK was that shit), and not Holden's parents. 

At one point Aaron's father leaves for a conference of some sort in Seattle - which, super convenient, amirite, so Aaron and Holden can have a sleepover and sex it up (virgin ass and all), and we're supposed to believe that a small town mechanic goes to a conference, leaving no one to work on the cars in the shop? 

This book was an utter mess, and I don't just mean the stilted, unrealistic dialogue and ridiculous plot. The editor was MIA, and the proof-reader took a vacation, I guess. Grammar seemed optional. 

Men don't have a g-spot. A virgin like Holden, never having even CONSIDERED gay sex, has likely not heard of the prostrate. And he sure as fuck wouldn't call it a g-spot. 

At one point, Aaron says "Open Says Me". I suppose the author meant OPEN SESAME. How was that not caught? Then a few pages later, Aaron opens the condom and puts it on, with HIS TEETH. On himself. Uhm, sure, whatever floats your boat. I guess you're super bendy. Never mind the holes you just made with your teeth, you moron, which sort of defeats the purpose of putting on a condom in the first place. 

And to top off the editorial proof-reading fuckery, in one instance HOLDEN is called AARON. 

And, and, and... there's no HEA, not even a HFN - the couple has broken up at book's end because Holden is leaving town and Aaron isn't. We get a "To Be Continued" as if that isn't something you should tell your readers up front.

Not recommended. Possibly the worst book I've read this year. JFC. Yeah, I know it's YA, but young adults would like to read good books. And this isn't a good book. 

I'm so sorry, Secret Santa. I was swayed by the blurb and the positive reviews, and I now regret putting this book on my wishlist. I kind of hate that you wasted your money on this, even though I truly appreciate you getting it for me. 

Not recommended.

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review 2018-05-31 01:47
Does the Noise in my Head Bother You?
Does the Noise in My Head Bother You? - Steven Tyler

So, I actually finished it.  I know, I'm a glutton for punishment.  I just wanted to count it toward my reading goal since I had already read half of it.  I gave it 2 stars instead of 1 because I actually finished it.  If I hadn't been able to finish it and it ended up in the trash, or the street (close) I would have given it only one star.  

 

---------------------------

 

Terrible.  So I knew they were crazy, did a lot of drugs and I assumed a lot of crazy sex but I didn't not expect that to be pretty much the whole book.  I did enjoy the first few chapters about his childhood.  I looked up the people and songs he mentioned and listened to some of them online.  Then, he starts talking about doing drugs and sex and fighting with his band mates and he sounded like a whiny child.  He truly only thinks about himself and justifies his actions while at the same time acknowledging he was wrong and sorry.  This book was a rambling mess and unfortunately there are things you can't unknow.

 

Omg, so I was reading reviews other people wrote and this one is so funny because it is exactly what I was thinking.  Only this person writes it like a letter to Steven Tyler.  

Review by Jennifer

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text 2018-05-29 21:00
Reading progress update: I've read 170 out of 390 pages.
Does the Noise in My Head Bother You? - Steven Tyler

Terrible.... complete waste of time.  

 

I was hoping for some cool music stuff but I only semi-enjoyed the first chapter or two about his childhood.  I finally looked up the audio book and let it play while I did other things.  It is not really worth any time and some of the stuff I've heard I'll never be able to unknow.  I'll probably just flip through the rest looking for anything worth my time.  

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review 2017-04-29 04:03
This is how you launch a PI series
Down Don't Bother Me - Jason Miller
She was about my age, early forties, though I had to look at her hands to tell it. She was good-looking, too. Good-looking is putting it mildly, maybe. I looked around vaguely for a priest to strangle. She was tall and lean, with the kind of green eyes a lazy novelist would describe as "piercing." Her copper hair was pulled back from her face with a strip of brown cloth. I imagined that its more honest self was touched here and there with gray, but that was just a guess. . . . I put down the picture. She looked at me and it and frowned the kind of desperate, exhausted frown that turns the room upside down and shakes the sympathy from its pockets.

Yeah, the spirit of Raymond Chandler is alive and well in the Midwest.

 

I first heard about Jason Miller through this episode of Mysterypod and thought his conversation with Steve Usery was fascinating. I finally got the chance to read his first book this week -- We spend the first 3 and change pages with Slim in a coal mine in Little Egypt, Illinois. There were so many things in those pages I just didn't understand -- but somehow, Miller still created a fantastic sense of place. Claustrophobic, dark, dirty, and dangerous. I was hooked almost immediately. Then we started meeting people -- and it got better.

 

Slim works in the Knight Hawk -- one of the remaining coal mines in the area -- he's known for tracking down a couple of people that no one else seemed capable of finding, and was willing (and able) to get violent as necessary. More importantly, Slim's a single father to a 12 year-old named Anci. He's dating a teacher and has a best friend named Jeep, who's sort of a Joe Pike-figure.

 

Matthew Luster is the owner of the Knight Hawk -- and probably just as ethical as you'd expect. Just as rich, too -- at least by small-town standards (and then some). He talks Slim into looking for a newspaper photographer who went missing about the same time as the reporter he worked with was found dead inside the mine. Roy Beckett, the photographer, is married to Luster's daughter -- and it doesn't really seem like they're really close. Why Luster wants him found is a bit murky, too -- primarily, he seems curious about the story that Beckett and the photographer are working on.

 

The top contender is a blossoming meth trade in Knight Hawk and another mine in the area. But there's an environmental group making noise, too. Throw in Beckett's reputation as a womanizer, and you have any number of potential reasons why he's scarce. Slim makes a token effort in tracking him down -- when bodies start piling up, and bullets fly near Slim, his girlfriend and daughter. Which just makes him buckle down and get to work.

 

Overall, it's a pretty standard PI tale from this point out. Entertaining enough in and of itself, a solid story that will keep mystery fans reading. But what makes this book shine and stand out is Slim and his perspective -- like any good PI novel, it's about the narrator primarily. And Slim is, right out of the gate, right up there with Spenser, Walt Longmire, Patrick Kenzie, and so on. Right there, Miller's given people a reason to enjoy this book and come back for a sequel or three.

 

But it gets better -- the way most of these people talk. I loved it -- I'm not saying Little Egypt is full of Boyd Crowders, but it's close. A ritzy-subdivision's security guard, one of Beckett's mistresses, Slim, and others -- I made notes to quote them all, but I won't -- just a sample of the dialogue (and narration, which is pretty much just internal dialogue):

  • That old man is so bad, they'll have to come up with a new definition of the term just so ordinary bad men won't get all full of false piety.
  • You ever see one of these Taurus Raging Judge Magnum things? . . . I know it sounds like a gas station prophylactic, but let me tell you, it's enough gun to kill the Lincoln on Mount Rushmore.
  • ...the public defender system is a good thing--but you got the feeling that, in this guy's hands, you could walk into to donate to the policeman's fund and end up tied to a metal table.

Anci, I have to say, is the coolest kid in Crime Fiction today -- that's not saying a whole lot, I grant you. But she is. I like Maddie Bosch, but she's no Anci (and outside of Bernie Little's and Andy Carpenter's sons are okay, too -- but we don't get that much time with them). She's smart, she's brave, she's vulnerable, funny, well-read . . . and more mature than Flavia de Luce (and doesn't seem to go looking for trouble). All without being too cute and therefore annoying -- she's a kid, but an important part of Team Slim.

 

The novel ends making it clear that there are more stories about Anci and Slim to tell. There's another novel and a short story in this series -- hopefully with more to come. I had so much fun reading this and totally dug this one and can't wait to read the others. Give this a shot, folks. 2017 Library Love Challenge

Source: irresponsiblereader.com/2017/04/28/down-dont-bother-me-by-jason-miller
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review 2016-09-21 18:54
The Skin Collector
The Skin Collector (Lincoln Rhyme) by Deaver, Jeffery (2014) Hardcover - Jeffery Deaver

3 Stars

don’t bother

 

I was so excited when I came back to reading that there were two more Jeffrey Deaver Lincoln Rhyme Novels.  I love this series but I don’t really like the Katherine Dance novels that much.  I read the Kindle edition and there were some minor formatting errors which were a little annoying but I lived with them.

 

The beginning is a bit slow and a bit formulaic (is that a word?).  But just when I didn’t think I could take the play by play content of going over the crime scene again things begin to get interesting.  And of course all the damned tables which make up filler space for me have shown up..  Those are really annoying to me. And I was hoping they were dropped.  

 

What is interesting about the book is the premise.  Like most of the novels in this series, the book starts with a murder of a youngish girl.  The murder killed her by tattooing her with poison.  I have no idea if that’s even possible but it’s an interesting topic.  I love tattoos (I think I have close to 10 individual tattoos) so this concept is pretty cool to me.


I read somewhere around 75% of the book and I think that’s a fair amount to give a review of the book.  This was way to formulaic and it got very boring. I don’t want to waste my precious time finishing the last of this book when I don’t really cares what happens that much.

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