So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo is the kind of book that will have you really thinking about your actions and the way that they affect others. When I finished this book, I immediately passed it onto my manager to read because I wanted to continue the conversation. Oluo uses her own experiences as a person of color navigating our (you have to admit) white supremacist society here in the United States. So this is not only extremely relevant but also a necessary book about an incendiary topic. We (I speak as a collective here with a definite side-eye at my fellow white folks of privilege) need to do better and that starts with educating ourselves. Oluo uses this book like an instruction manual with vocabulary lessons on things like microaggressions, the school to prison pipeline, tone policing, intersectionality, cultural appropriation, and the model minority myth. It's full of talking points about how to successfully navigate uncomfortable talks about race, racism, and racial inequality. This isn't an easy book to read because the truth about our society and the way that we have been conditioned to act is a hard pill to swallow BUT it's important to face this head-on so that we can move on to all (hopefully) be better people. Lest you think this is directed solely at white people, Oluo also stresses the importance of people of color having affirmation that their feelings and hurt are valid. Basically, this is a great book that all people wanting to do better should read. 10/10

What I'm Currently Reading: The Five: The Untold Lives of the Women Killed by Jack the Ripper by Hallie Rubenhold

This popped up on my FB feed. I haven't read anything by Ijeoma Oluo, who wrote So You Want To Talk About Race, but I really enjoyed this article in Topic:

The Color of Money

where she talks about what her first royalty check meant to her. She has some really interesting and insightful things to say about how black culture (versus white culture) approach money.

It made me even more interested in her book, which I was already pretty interested in...

Really I don't have any interest in talking about race. What I want is to be a better human in a way that is helpful to other human beings. Oluo is someone I follow on Twitter. Her writing is wonderfully clear and straightforward and also surprisingly kind.  But so practical! Mostly I try to avoid ever talking to anyone about anything, but this book lays out for me concrete times and places and ways to use my privilege to benefit others. Surprisingly kind because withstanding a lifetime of abuse by society should enrage everyone. Our culture is cruel and dehumanizing and grossly unfair, and some days it is all I can do not to run screaming. This is what we have made and it is awful and cruel and murderous. It is prejudiced and short sighted and stupid and it is only the astounding grace and kindness of individuals in the worst moments that make it worthwhile.

I want to make life easier and better and more just for everyone and I thank Oluo for taking the time to share her wisdom and determination and to encourage me forward in the light. Right now feels very dark, so I am grateful to all those who can show me a way forward and give me hope not just that we can do better, but that we will rise up and choose to do better. Sometimes just looking after those closest to me is all I can manage and not even do that well. But more often I can listen, and learn, and witness, and maybe, just a little more, I can speak. And remember, every day that humankind is my business.

Library copy

This book needs handed out in social studies courses in high school. Oluo packs so much in this book that I really do think is a good guide for people who have questions about race. She delves into all kinds of topics and I was here for them. Sometimes the writing gets a bit technical, but I think that a lot of pre-teens and above would do very well with reading this and having an honest conversation about race afterwards.

As one of my friend's laments, "The reason why the United States still has a huge problem with racism is that no one wants to be honest about it. Everyone wants to pretend that racism died when the North won the Civil War, and it didn't." Then she usually goes into a rant about how she almost got into a fight with someone who tried to explain to her how reverse racism is a thing (it freaking is not).

Oulo breaks this book into 17 sections after her introduction. In each section she goes into some personal history and I wanted to read even more about her family and her experiences. I do follow her on Twitter, but have managed to not come across like a crazy fan. I just love reading her stuff. If you have time, check out her articles. One of her articles on Rachel Dolezal or whatever name she is going by now was a very insightful read. 

I am going to list out the chapters that I loved the best, everything that is not mentioned does not mean that I didn't enjoy it, I just loved these topics the most while reading.

Chapter One: "Is it really about race?"-I love that Oluo breaks it down for people that seem to think that a Utopia United States that would fully embrace socialism will somehow make racism go away is not a thing. It drives me up the wall when people don't seem to get that.

We have a class system in the United States that Oluo points out which is oppressive and violent and harms a lot of people of all races and it should be addressed and torn down, but that class system getting torn down doesn't mean that everything will magically become better.

Oluo brings up labor movements and others which often pushed POC's issues to the back burner as something that would eventually get addressed. This is why I personally still keep struggling with the #metoo movement. It's not an intersectional movement. 

Chapter Three: "What if I talk about race wrong?"-I loved this one because Oluo brings up a conversation with her mother and I maybe sprayed water all over. I won't spoil it for you, but it's hilarious. But she does show a perfect example on how some allies out there need to listen a lot more instead of trying to tell people about their experiences.

I personally get annoyed when I go to a party and I have some random person ask me so what do you think about race in this country? I seriously have had that happen a lot to me. I am not the sole voice in the African American community. Also stop doing that to people.

Oluo goes into a lot of examples to show how to talk about race without forcing a POC to be on the defensive and or having to educate you while in the middle of a conversation.

Chapter Five: "What is intersectionality and why do I need it?"- Oluo goes into Hoteps (shaking my head) and the importance of intersectionality and how people can be more thoughtful in ensuring that if you are having discussions about race how to increase the intersectionality in any discussions that you hold. 

Chapter Six: "Is police brutality really about race?"-Oluo provides readers with a story about how she when she got pulled over in 2015, she Tweeted about it. I don't do that because I am honestly too scared to move if I get pulled over. I was taught to keep hands on the wheel, make sure that you ask for permission to move, when moving still explain what you are doing, and be respectful and keep your eyes lowered. It's like being around a rabid dog that you are afraid is going to bite you. And this is coming from a POC that is friends with a ton of police officers and others in law enforcement. I have a different reality from my friends who are white. I have been in the cars with them when they have mouthed off to cops and in one case flipped the guy off when he was walking back to his patrol car. My only thought was, please don't let me get killed cause of this idiot here!

Oluo breaks down the history behind police forces, and how they started off as Night Patrols who had the principal task of controlling black and Native American populations in England and Slave Patrols who had the principal task of catching escaped black slaves. She then segues into post-Reconstruction America and how the Jim Crow era morphed the police force into something else. 

Chapter Seven: "How Can I Talk About Affirmative Action?"-Such a good chapter. I loved it. My heart also break for Oluo and the coworker that she mentions. I think every POC has a story out there like these.

Chapter Nine: "Why Can't I say the N word?"-Cause you freaking cannot. Enough said. Seriously though Oluo provides again a personal story about being called the N word and how it made her feel. And also explaining why it's not okay to say the word if you are not black. 

And last, but not least.

"Chapter Eleven: "Why Can't I Touch Your Hair"-Please stop touching people without permission. Oluo goes into her own personal history about her hair and about people who think that just cause they saw Chris Rock's "Good Hair" they are now the end all be all of knowing what black men and women deal with with regards to their hair. I personally relax my hair because that's my choice. Shoot, I want to have natural hair, but my hair dresser has point blank said, girl your hair grows too fast and is too thick. Have at it and God bless. LOL. I just don't have the patience for it. I do love black women's hairstyles. I love it when it's natural, relaxed, braided, etc. Do you know how much I loved Black Panther for showcasing women with their hair in all kinds of ways? I loved it a lot.