I'm scared that I don't matter , even a little bit and no one matters and nothing matters . I'm scared that it all matters and I'm fucking it up . I'm scared I'm living my short short life wrong in every possible way . I'm scared I've already made so many mistakes and I dont have enough time to fix them . I'm scared I won't die with the slightest amount of dignity ,like on the toilet or watching bravo . I'm scared no one will care when I do . I'm scared that the only person I ever loved wasn't real . I'm scared I will never get over him . And I'm scared I'm making the same mistake again.
so what's the point of what we do ? I asked if we can't provide that.
Well... He said . He handed me a napkin for my tears. Maybe part of its just to reaffirm to people.
Reaffirm what ?
He looked away and scratched his chin , covered in black and gray stubble . Then he met my eyes again , and for once he didnt look like a sad clown . He looked serious .
that we don't need as much closure as we think we do .
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