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text 2018-07-28 00:29
I'm Alive

[I haven't been on here because I've not been reading... >/<]

 

Anyways...just wanted to say hi and share something, sorry I've got nothing book related. [TW: Implied eating disorder mentioned]

 

---

I broke up with a toxic relationship. This has put me on the path of a new journey, a magical adventure!
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I stopped talking about my health journey (as in my "weight loss" journey) because it got me to an obsessive point with working out, tracking every little detail and trying and failing to change my diet many, many times.
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It made my relationship with food worse. I would punish myself when I ate something "bad" by going on a fast, which meant not eating for a day or so. Sometimes I told myself, "okay, I will try to do a 3 day fast, or even a week fast." I seriously wanted to, but I never made it and ended up binge eating something "bad" again and starting the cycle of punishing myself all over again. The fast was seen as a good thing, a cleanse, so to speak.
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Not only that but beating myself up constantly while on my so-called journey. I would push myself to go beyond what I know my body could do on certain days because I didn't want to let others down by failing. I think that may be one reason why my chronic pain, depression, and anxiety are at an all-time high. I put too much pressure on my mind, body, and soul.
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Goodbye Diet Culture. We're never, ever getting back together. I'm striving to love myself and my body in all its stages. I am working toward not caring one lick what others think of me and my body. I'm working toward being positive, finding peace and tranquillity.
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Here are things I want to be routine & practice daily: Meditation, positive affirmations (even if that means talking to myself more), stretching, working up to yoga, remembering gratitude...etc.
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As for food, no food is bad, but I honestly know that because of my digestive problems and autoimmune, there are foods I should avoid. However, I won't beat myself up if I eat them. I'm trying to learn to eat intuitively and my body is not liking wheat, too much dairy, and meat. Not only do these things make me really sick/in pain or jump-start IBS, they just make me feel sluggish, heavy and generally unwell.
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I usually write dark poetry(which has its purpose), but I will leave you with something positive I wrote yesterday:
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Hear Me,
Power of Healing
Let me be free of anxiety

 

Hear Me,
Power of Healing
Let me be cleansed of dark energy

 

Hear Me,
Power of Healing
Cleanse my mind and my space

 

Cleanse, heal, peace
Cleanse, heal, peace
Cleanse, heal, peace

---

 

If you read this, you are beautiful, you are worthy, the world needs you and I love you.

 

Blessed Be!

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review 2017-09-05 07:46
Forever by Judy Blume

As a young teen or even preteen when I first read this, I am sure that I liked the book as I hardly knew better, but as an adult I cringe thinking about me reading this when I was so young.

Here is how I feel upon rereading:

I feel really bad, but I disliked this book. It is a quick paced read, so I did read the whole thing. Several things in this made me feel like I was all slime covered and uncomfortable. It is really a shame; I do remember her children books with fond memories. I still believe she is a good writer.

I understand why this book may have been important for the time period it was written in, but I still think the relationship in the book was toxic and should not have been anyone's reference guide to love and relationships.

Major spoilers for what I found wrong with this book.

 

This is what made me unsure about this book:
It seemed all Michael did was beg/pressure for sex and it felt like he only said "I love you" to get her to be more sexual. How they just off offhandedly talked about abortion like it was no big deal also rubbed me the wrong why. I am not going to get into a pro life/pro choice debate, but I really did not like how this was done in the book! Also cheating. Whether physical or emotional cheating. I don't like cheating in any format, books, movies... etc. Ugh

(spoiler show)

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review 2012-10-26 00:00
Toxic Relationship - Richard Hacker Such an interesting read. I do not know which character I enjoyed more, Nick, Marylou, Junior or Barry. The author has a great way with words and hooking the reader. If you are looking for a book that has lots of twist, turns and one character that is always on the receiving end of bad luck then this is it.

Thanks for such an interesting read Richard.

The bunnies and I give this book 4 carrots.
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