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Search tags: couldn-t-have-cared-less
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review SPOILER ALERT! 2015-08-25 05:55
Hold Me Like A Breath
Hold Me Like a Breath: Once Upon a Crime Family - Tiffany Schmidt

**SPOILER ALERT**

Well, that was disappointing.

First off, this cover is breathtaking. I mean, truly beautiful, though what it has to do with the book, I have no idea. The title is also eye-catching and what a play on words! That, thankfully, does fit the book exceedingly well.

All right, let's get down to business. This sounded like it would be incredible. I tried to prevent myself from getting overly excited for it, which ended up just as well, since it was a total dud.

The idea behind this story and the general plot is really quite something. The Organ Trade, a big old crime family, and a girl who can bruise from a touch. Add to that a logical retelling of the Princess and the Pea. I mean, the potential. Alas, it lived up to none of it and ended up being mediocre, at best.

Plot:

Among other things, Penny's whole family is murdered; she's on the run, fighting for her life; attempting to discover who murdered her family; trying to prevent those same people from trying over the Family business; AND trying to keep herself safe not only from the people chasing her down, but also her disease. Sounds busy and suspenseful, right? Nope. Because even among all this, Penny somehow finds time to fall head over heels in love with Char, and cutely flirt/date him for half the book after her parents and brother are murdered. And Char is also the heir of another Family, which I had so been hoping to avoid. Also, there's a bunch of shit about Garrett, Penny's long-time crush, short-time boyfriend, whom she moves on from instantly after seeing Char. (More on this under "Romance".) But the Family/Organ business eventually comes back into play, when it is discovered that, oh shocker, Garrett Ward's family, Penny's family's bodyguards, are the villains. Betrayal!! *yawn* Their last name is Ward, how is this a surprise?

Romance:

Ugh, why? So Penny goes from day-dreaming over Garett, her brother's best friend, to literally dreaming and mooning over Charlie, the hottest guy she's ever laid eyes on, within a few pages. And then wibble-wobbles back and forth briefly. And it was all so unnecessary and boring to read, not to mention mushy. It's almost as if the author wasn't sure what to do with Penny 100 pages in and decided that another love interest (from a rival Family, no less) would be the bestest thing to do. *facepalm*

Characterization:

I think the thing with Penny is that she is realistic. She's been sheltered her whole life, practically never leaves her family's estate, and just wants some freedom. She is whiny, naive, and makes a lot of stupid-ass decisions. (Attempting to run off with Garett after Carter's death, almost killing herself several hundred times, despite painful knowledge of her condition, etc) And to be honest, I'm not sure that I can blame her very much for a number of these things. But there's not denying that it was annoying to read because I wanted her to A. stop worrying about boys and B. focus on her family and keeping herself safe. The fact that Penny is alive at all is astonishing, quite frankly. By every single right in the universes, real and fictional, she should be dead. Anyways...At times, I empathized with her: her crippling disease, the murder of her whole family, but really, I found it hard to connect with her emotionally.

I didn't like Garett from the start and, while he wasn't as terrible as I thought he would be, he was still scum. I mean, sure he wanted to keep Penny safe, but his family killed hers and he did, oh, jack shit to do anything about it. But at least he semi-redeemed himself my taking a bullet at the end to save Penny. But still. And oh, your name sucks, Garett.

Charlie didn't really have a purpose, other than love interest and a nice intro to the Zhu Family. But other than that, he, as a character, and not a plot point, fell flat.

Penny's family was so little utilized. All we really get is snapshots and memories in a photo album, when I wanted the real deal. But by all accounts, for all their many many faults and illegal dealings, they meant well and weren't terrible people. I should have liked to have seen more of them. (I pretty much stopped caring, to be honest, when Carter was killed off.)

Writing:

Not a whole to say here. The prose was simplistic, but generally avoided being childish. Nothing to commend, and nothing to complain about either.

Fairytale Retelling???:

Um, what fairytale? The author goes on and on about it being a retelling of the Princess and The Pea and makes a truly compelling and interesting case for it in her Afterword. However, so far as I could tell, there was only one element of the original fairytale in the book: the one scene at the end where Penny sleeps on the tall cushy bed of a box spring, and a mattress, and a bazillion blankets and is bruised by....something, but we don't really know what. But even though that is indeed the crucial moment in the fairytale, for the two pages it takes up in the book, it felt more like a homage or a nod to the fairytale than an actual retelling.

Overall:

What this book had going for it in originality and basic story (ie. the description) it sorely lacked in execution. The potential was wasted, and I found it hard to care about Penny. Definitely won't be coming for the unnecessary sequel. (Though I'm sure the cover will be gorgeous.)

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review 2015-08-18 01:11
Rook
Rook - Sharon Cameron

*DNF AT 104 PAGES*

Maybe someday, if I ever feel so inclined, I shall pick this back up and finish it, but I doubt it. It's not that it was horrible and I had to throw it against the wall in a fit of rage or disgust, but it was hardly compelling and the pacing was crap, not to mention that I hated Rene, the main love interest who is not who he says he is ooooooooooooh how exciting. Really, the only person I genuinely liked was Tom, Sophia's brother.

So until I hear otherwise that Rene disappears into an alternate dimension or has a visit from his good old friend the Razor, or that the rest of the book was worth slogging through, this one is a pass.

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review 2015-07-24 21:49
Muirwood: The Lost Abbey
Muirwood: The Lost Abbey Graphic Novel (Kindle Serial) (Legends of Muirwood) - Jeff Wheeler,Matthew Sturges,Dave Justus,Alex Sheikman,Lizzy John

**An ARC of this book was provided by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review**

1.5 stars. (Rounding up cause I didn't hate it.)

Okay, technically I only read the first issue of this, which was about 24 pages, since that's what was on Netgalley. I wasn't impressed with those 24 pages, however, certainly not enough to bother continuing with the series.

Full review to come closer to publication.

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review 2014-10-24 18:01
The Scarlet Letter
The Scarlet Letter - Nathaniel Hawthorne,Nina Baym,Thomas E. Connolly

Gah. Quite simply, while this was an semi-appreciable look at the sin and guilt of the characters, it was stunningly dull and I would never voluntarily pick it up again. I did not care a bit about anyone or anything, was minorly concerned by how a lot of things were worded concerning the affair of Hester and Dimmesdale, and totally underwhelmed by the ending.

I do believe that a good bit of that was the point of the book. Well, color me unimpressed.

 

Dimmesdale was a pansy.

(spoiler show)
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review 2014-06-02 23:41
Falling Kingdoms
Falling Kingdoms - Morgan Rhodes,Michelle Rowen

The biggest problem with this book was that I honestly couldn't have cared less. About anyone. Or anything. Oh, the other problem was that everything was sexualized, but remember...I don't care.

*SPOILERS AHEAD* (You know, if you CARE about that sort of thing)


Like I didn't care about Lucia and her magical powers.



I didn't care about Magnus and his incestuous love for his sister, Lucia, who isn't really his sister because she's adopted but neither of them know that.



I didn't care about Cleo and her dark secret and her crappy arranged marriage. 



I didn't care about Jonas and his obsession with Cleo and killing her and his revolutionary schemes. 



I didn't care about Cleo's bodyguard/boyfriend's death, even IF he was the only half-way decent character in this entire book, keeping in mind that I've read short stories shorter than the cast of characters list.



I didn't care about all the political scheming and backstabbing and betrayals.



I didn't care about the murder of Jonas' brother, which started the whole revolution and war and Jonas' vendetta.



I didn't care about Aron and how much of a scumball, objectively speaking, he is.



I didn't care about ANYTHING.

(spoiler show)
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