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review 2016-03-01 18:29
The Last Of The Firedrakes
The Last of the Firedrakes (The Avalonia Chronicles, #1) - Farah Oomerbhoy

**An copy of this book was provided by the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review**

How? HOW does this have such high ratings and favorable reviews? 'Cos this was so bad, you guys. Oh, I should have DNFed. There's an hour of my life I won't be getting back.

It started out, not promising perhaps, but not totally terrible, in a generic fantasy story marginally better written than if written by an average 12 year old sort-of way. And it continued in this vein for the next 350 pages or so, with the addition of about a bajillion hackneyed cliches, an honest to goodness Pixie Hollow (with accompanying names eg. Penelope Plumpleberry), and a terribad romance. Let's look at the story, noting some of the cliches, shall we??

(Okay, not all of this will be totally 100% chronological. I'm only human. And I was speed reading.)

Aurora, an orphan, lives with her horrid adoptive aunt and uncle and cousin. Her uncle sells her to some baddie, who takes Aurora to a magical land, where Aurora discovers she is not only royalty but has inherited both of her parent's powers; she is both a mage AND an immortal fey, the combination of which is practically unheard of. She is also literally the most powerful fey-mage since the bestest and most awesomeest fey-mage whose names escapes me but basically he was super important and powerful. Her aunt wants her dead so she can take over the throne with absolutely no competition from the true heir. (But the "true heir" was in an entirely different fricking WORLD before the aunt brought her to Avalonia.) She falls into Insta!love (she actually refers to him as the love of her life, and her soul mate *gag*) with the Black Wolf, a dashing tall dark and handsome dude who runs around the kingdom doing who knows what but he's got this big huge reputation and he is actually the crown prince in disguise (I didn't see that coming AT ALL) and a total smarmy ass-hat. Aurora can talk with Pegasi, and she has one named Snow, and every scene with those two was dripping in awful saccharine pretty princess Pegasus power hour writing. Aurora is sent to a magical boarding school to learn how to control her powers, and where she encounters an Avalonian version of Draco Malfoy named Damien Blackwater, if memory serves, who blathers on about his pure "bloodline", is a general twat, and whose family is secretly in cohoots with Morgana. (At which point, I was jabbing at the Ipad screen at the rate of probably 20 pages a minute, just scanning the pages, because I was pretty confident there was nothing worth reading past that.) Aurora moons over Rafe, and they make out a bit but it never seems like it comes from any place of actual affection and it's written TERRIBLY. (This, and what was going on plot wise, had started to induce groaning and facepalming.) And then I think we are learning more about this special book of Abraxis that Morgana wants so she can control Dragoth (who is a demon?? I forget) but there are four keys you need to open the book, and she only has one. And then Aurora is an idiot (see below) and opens a portal (to hell?????) and lets Lilith (...like....that Lilith???) into Avalonia, and I don't know, Lilith is gonna use Morgana as a host body, because her wraith form will dissipate or she's weak in wraith form, or something like that. And that's mostly the end.

Aurora is also incredibly stupid. She's on the run from people who want to kill her, but instead of trying to get to someone who can help her, she begs to stay in Pixie Hollow (or whatever it was called) to sightsee the fairy market. Which gets raided by the Shadow Guard and she gets captured. Aurora also decides NOT to tell on one of the girls at the boarding school who let the Shadow Guard in, and is basically a big fat traitor, because.....that would be...tattling??? Oh gosh, there were so many instances of her stupidity, but here's another goodie. Aurora is told that bringing Snow back to life would be "dark magic" aka VERY VERY HELLA BAD DON'T DO IT and she fricking does it, because she neeeeeds Snow back. Well, guess what, Aurora? I hope you're happy that you using dark magic opened a hell portal.

(spoiler show)

Anyways, up till the last 60 pages or so, it was pretty darn bad, but it would have probably gotten two stars, because it was basically just a poorly written generic fantasy amalgamation of tropes and tween dreams when you'd daydream in your backyard about secretly being magical royalty. It wasn't something I would ever recommend, but as a wee girl with very few standards I might have even enjoyed it. Until Aurora and Rafe's gag-o-matic tripe of a "romance" was two-sided, and the plot went completely haywire.

Also worth mentioning is that this reads VERY middle grade, from plot to characters to the writing style, but then some bits felt more like they belonged in a YA? I think maybe this is one of those weird little books that was meant and marketed as YA but comes off as extremely childish and MG.

Thank goodness it's finally over.

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text 2015-05-23 20:58
A Long Long Sleep
A Long, Long Sleep - Anna Sheehan

**DNF AT 125 PAGES**


I wanted so much to love, or at least like, this book. And I tried. There's no denying that I was pulled into the story, as there was something about the writing. It wasn't terribly pretty, but it was engaging. Where I lost it was when Rose is mooning over Bren, and comparing him to Xavier, "her first love", whom she met when she was 7. Due to how often and how long she was in stasis, when she was 10, he was 5. He was cute and liked spending time with her and she considered him as a little brother. This continued on till she was 14 and he was 12, and they started feeling something more. And by the time she's 16, they are in true and unbelievable love and she's more concerned over his death than her parents, granted that they probably weren't around very much when they were alive.


"He was my best friend, my brother, my love."


Now the whole friend-to-boyfriend thing is fine, but friendbrother-to-boyfriend is just a titch creepy. I think too, it was how it was handled and written about. It came across to me as weird. She was always referring to him as "my Xavier" and...ugh. Just stop. Maybe I didn't make it far enough in the book for the plot to show up, but lame romance was rearing its head, and I have had enough of that to last me a lifetime.


By far the best part of this book was Otto, who I was quite interested in and would have definitely been willing to check out his book, which I was hoping would have more to do with his story and his "siblings", and stay away from romantic distractions. Except I read a review and it appears that it mostly deals with Otto and Rose's  romance.



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review 2015-05-12 21:59
Ever After High: Briar Beauty's Story
Ever After High: Briar Beauty's Story - Shannon Hale

Gah, no. After finally reading any part of the Ever After High series, I am so glad that I never tried to read the first book. It is like a tween Valley high girl lives in some strange form of a Barbie world but with, like, fairytales... and stuff*.

*Terrible puns.

Also, this has mostly 5-star ratings?????

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review 2014-10-24 18:01
The Scarlet Letter
The Scarlet Letter - Nathaniel Hawthorne,Nina Baym,Thomas E. Connolly

Gah. Quite simply, while this was an semi-appreciable look at the sin and guilt of the characters, it was stunningly dull and I would never voluntarily pick it up again. I did not care a bit about anyone or anything, was minorly concerned by how a lot of things were worded concerning the affair of Hester and Dimmesdale, and totally underwhelmed by the ending.

I do believe that a good bit of that was the point of the book. Well, color me unimpressed.


Dimmesdale was a pansy.

(spoiler show)
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review 2014-05-26 05:42
The House of The Seven Gables
The House of the Seven Gables - Robert S. Levine,Nathaniel Hawthorne
Nathaniel Hawthorne's gripping psychological drama...

You see, books tend to lose their "grip" on their readers when character deaths are drawn out for nearly 20 pages, or whole chapters are devoted to describing a garden or Phoebe's bedroom or the sunshine or the cent-shop. So essentially, the reader has very little hope of ever being "gripped" in the first place, considering that a rather large portion of the first (lengthy) chapter is devoted to describing the House, which as we all know, is the real main character of this book.

But Hawthorne does rock the descriptive narratives.

On a completely unrelated note, there was one paragraph that just...ew. Seriously. I did NOT need to know what Clifford "noticed" about Phoebe. Nope.

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