*Spoiler warning, just in case, but I don't think it really should count as a spoiler*

Trigger Warning: Rape & Torture

Part of me does not want to post this, but this book effected me so much, I just have to post this. I heard about this book a couple days ago and saw how expensive it was, so naturally I was curious. They say curiosity kills the cat, which that saying makes more sense now. I'm not dead of course, but I felt a little broken after reading this. This book is out of print, so I had to do some digging, because I was not going to pay over $100 for it. Someone let me read their PDF file.

Side note, I should not have read the PDF, but morbid curiosity got the best of me. I do not condone the downloading/stealing of media such as books, movies...etc.

Here is my review:

What did I just read... what did I read? I'm shaking, sad, angry, furious, crying my eyes out.

How do you rate a book like this? I will say that I did not "enjoy" it. It wasn't a "good" story. It was engrossing, and I couldn't stop reading it. It was like that saying about not being able to look away from a train wreck or some other tragedy. (I don't even know what I'm saying.) I'm really mad.

The writing style wasn't that great. It felt really choppy. There was a lot of stuff that felt really unnecessary. The ending is what brought on the uncontrollable shaking and anger. (Not that the whole thing isn't anger inducing) I can't even say why without spoiling, but I have a feeling most people go into the story knowing it will not end well.

I think the book broke me. I can't imagine kids being that way, and why one of them wouldn't just tell a grown up, even the "Picker" that was camping out near their home. In this book, the Pickers are men who are lower class and do work for other people, at least is how I gathered it. At least one of them didn't want to go through with it, but since it was "a game" they had to go through with it. That makes me so upset. They were all old enough to know better. Sure some of them might truly be psychotic, but it just doesn't make sense.

Also the cops are so.... phew, calm down... (I'm getting angry again) Adults just don't give kids enough credit and I think somehow, someway, they should have realized something fishy was going on with the kids.

I don't know what else to say.

*The only reason I gave it a 3 star is because I can not deny the fact that I was completely engrossed in the book, as horrible as the content was.

*Would I read it again: Big HECK no, with a major but... as a book reviewer/blogger and Booktuber, I might allow myself the agony of reading it again if I had a physical copy (that I found for a "normal" price and not $100 and we know how unlikely it is to find a copy) The only reason I *might* read again, is to let you know if the formatting issues I had, the choppiness was down to the fact I read it as a PDF or if those issues were in the print copy.

*It has been days since I read and reviewed this and I still feel uncomfortable that I gave it a 3 star, because 3 stars for me usually means I liked a book, but just not enough to be a favorite or a book that I loved (which is what I think about 4 and 5 star reads.)

Like I said, I did not like this book, but it did entertain me (not even in a good way, if that makes sense) and it was engrossing, so 3 stars it is.

I don’t  know why I ever chose to torture myself and willingly read A CHILD CALLED IT,  but Dave Pelzer broke something inside me – I haven’t been right since.  Knowing that, you’d think I’d have learned a lesson, (yeah, I know… I’m audibly laughing right now, too).  Nope. Years after ‘ACCI’ I decided that I wanted to read THE GIRL NEXT DOOR, and I let Jack Ketchum walk right in and start poking at the wound that David Pelzer left with a big, pointy stick.  I think it was the masochist in me who invited Mendal W. Johnson to drop by and sucker-punch my PTSD in the back of the head.  As far as the ‘Let’s Go Play At The Adams‘ fiction/non-fiction debate’ goes – I’m sticking with IT’S FICTION, but I’m sure all the atrocities have been committed, many times, and on many different Barbaras. 
Like LGPATA, THE ABUSE OF ASHLEY COLLINS is not a true story – but it very well could be. Watching the decreasing sanity, and the elevating brutality of Ashley’s parents demonstrates just how fast situations can escalate. One little poke at the wrong moment, and all control is lost – you can’t come back from certain things.

THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. It is disturbing, and hard to read at times, but the author is not exploiting issues to gain shock value for a horror story. Jon Athan comes at the story from every possible angle, from every p.o.v., and sheds light on problems that most families would keep hidden in the dark. Let me misquote one of my favorite movies before you start reading…

WARNING: This book contains scenes of graphic violence, including violence towards children. This book is about abuse—verbal, physical, and emotional. This book does not feature any explicit sex scenes, but it does discuss sexual abuse. This book is not intended for those easily offended or appalled.

Ashley Collins, a sixteen-year-old girl, has severe behavior issues. She regularly fights with her parents, Logan and Jane. When the fights become personal and physical, Logan and Jane decide to take matters into their own hands. They chain their daughter in the basement and abuse her in an attempt to rescue her from her bad behavior… while delving into their own deviance and depravity.

This is a story of family and abuse. This is a story of violence and discipline. This is the abuse of Ashley Collins.

Jon Athan, author of A Family of Violence, brings you an uncompromising vision of human horror. Can the cycle of abuse be broken?

Find The Abuse of Ashley Collins on Goodreads, Amazon, and it’s available through the KU program.

Connect with the author via Twitter – @Jonny_Athan, Facebook,  through the officialJon Athan Website, or his author pages on Goodreads, BookLikes, LibraryThing  &Amazon. You can email him directly at: info@jon-athan.com, or head on over to the West Coast and start stalking him the old fashioned way!

...or let's not!!!

I read this book as a young teenager. I found this to be a disturbing read that has stayed with me to this day!

The thing that gets me every time, is that I repeatedly forget it was based on a real event, until I click on it on Goodreads, and see one of my friend's reviews directly below mine, reminding me of this fact.

I still have my paperback copy (see photos below), and wonder if one day I will dare to read it again. As I've read a lot of horror and dark psychological thrillers since reading this, I wonder if a re-read will make it seem less scary, but at the same time, I fear the images in the darkest corners of my mind will come flooding back upon reading it again.

So, while I spend probably another decade considering whether I dare read this again, it will sit on my bookshelf where I know it can behave itself. It is one of those books that I thought was very good, but I do not take pleasure in recommending it to others in case it makes them feel how I did as a young girl.

On the back cover, Publishers Weekly state "A horror tale that will harrow you and haunt you long after you have finished it." I see why I was attracted to it in the first place, with loving horrors, lol. However, I don't think I ever expected it would still have such a strong impact on my thoughts and feelings about 25 years later.

I don't believe in the world of this book, nor in its worldview.

HEAVY SPOILERS