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Search tags: so-dumb-my-head-hurts
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review 2020-05-08 16:56
Cirque du Daddy Issues
The Circus - Olivia Levez The Circus - Olivia Levez

This was a quick read, and well paced.

 

But. But...

 

The whole premise of the book is pretty absurd. Let me break it down. First, this girl runs away to join the circus in 2016. Most circuses by that point had gone belly-up, but this girl seems to just stumble over more than one in a tiny UK coastal town. Very unlikely. 

 

And that leads us to Willow, our main character. She is flawed, but not in a relatable way. She has a rich daddy who owns her off on others and can't be bothered to take care of her because "she looks too much like her", his ex and mother of Willow. So Willow spends the whole book as a runaway, while recounting other escape attempts. Some seemed understandable while most seemed straight up spoiled brat moves. And that's where being flawed too much comes into play. How can I feel sympathy for a character when she is clearly in the wrong? The book opens with her ruining her step-mother's wedding dress. And by the end of the book, we still don't have an excuse for why she did it and why she hates her stepmom. Because she's young? Pregnant? We are never given a good reason, so most of Willow's behavior comes off as ridiculous and petty. 

 

And I would like to note that for a girl so "prepared" for this runaway episode, she didn't know squat about street life. She had a list of rules to follow but not one said anything about going anywhere with strangers. She kept putting herself in incredibly dangerous situations because she was too stupid to think "hey, maybe I shouldn't tease the creepy smelly ticket seller" or "don't go into a stranger's house". 

 

In the end, we get closure with a neat bow on top, but seriously? Nobody learned a lesson. Daddy still admitted to not really loving Willow, but he cries big fat tears of joy when she returns home to him. And let's not forget there are 17 years of distant "throw money at it until it goes away" parenting and never really even remembering she exists. You never learn why Willow hates her stepmom. You never learn why any of this had to happen. She ran away so many times she had a detective on her case all day every day, and nobody once thought to send this poor girl to therapy?! Why does a 6/8/11 year old keep running away from boarding school/home? Nobody ever seems to suggest this child might need help. 

 

All in all, don't bother. The whole thing is stupid. And if I'm going to be technical, as the book went along, the editing mistakes got worse and worse. So, I felt no sympathy for the main character, nobody learned anything, and everyone lives happily ever after. Gag me.

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review 2019-12-30 22:12
Well,....uh....yay for sharks?
Primal Waters - Steve Alten

Yay for the Megs. Boo for most of the people in this book. I was super annoyed with every single person in this massive book. But...damn if Jonas didn't have the baddest moment at the end. Like, total badass for a 65 year old. Ugh. It gives me mixed feelings.

 

The writing itself was shotty. Not terrible but just poor. The informative sections were so factual they felt out of place. He knows his science, no doubt. But it just takes you out of the moment when you're going along with the plot then you're being given an overview of an island chain and its history.

 

Anyway, I read this because it's a paperback and I take it to work with me. It's been really slow so I sit on my throne of milk crates and read when I have no prep work or orders. It makes time go by better. I can't decide if I want to move on the 4th book or just end this misery.

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review 2019-01-13 02:42
Pisces
Pisces - Rachel Medhurst

Pop Sugar 2019 Challenge prompts:

Book with a Zodiac or astrological word in the title

 

Holy shit, this is bad. No world-building. No depth of time (characters just drive and park, or walk, places in seconds without details). Just a whole lot of white, hetero drama, sudden plot changes and lack of details. The story just starts, which is fine, except a lot happens with no explanation or fleshing out. Events keep happening with little reason. It's like this was written by a high schooler who only ever read Middle Grade books. Everyone is white and gorgeous. And very, very straight. How are there 12 people in a house and not a LGBTQ.

 

Man, I'm just striking out today. DNF at 16%

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review 2018-12-25 00:19
Ghosted
Ghosted - Rosie Walsh

What a hot mess. Don't bother with this.

 

Woman acting like a child. Man acting like a child. Nothing but tropes and cliche "plot twists". I wanted to slap and stomp everyone in this book. 

 

DNFed at 130 pages. Skimmed the rest. 

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review 2018-09-14 21:11
Truly Madly Stupidly
Truly Madly Guilty - Liane Moriarty

This book made me want to stab something. 

 

Nobody in it was likeable except Tiffany the former stripper and her husband Vid, who spoke like Gru. Everyone else acted like elementary schoolers. The passive aggressiveness, the snide comments, the two-faced behavior. Nothing spoke of adults. And the children were monsters, with the exception of Dakota who didn't have much of a personality at all.

 

The plot was so transparent I could see my hand through it. I had it figured out within about 50 pages. Nothing makes me angrier than a short story that was stuffed to make a novel. This was a prime example. Too much cliche plot filler, too much fluff, too much everything. And none of it was even good. This should have been a novella of max 40 pages. Not 400. Your eyes just glaze after a while. And with the audiobook, it JUST. KEPT. GOING. Every time I thought it was done, it pulled a Return of the King, and popped back up. God. 

 

Yes, this was a overhyped popular book with little substance, one-dimensional characters and a plot any middle grade could see.

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