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Search tags: so-dumb-my-head-hurts
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review 2018-09-14 21:11
Truly Madly Stupidly
Truly Madly Guilty - Liane Moriarty

This book made me want to stab something. 

 

Nobody in it was likeable except Tiffany the former stripper and her husband Vid, who spoke like Gru. Everyone else acted like elementary schoolers. The passive aggressiveness, the snide comments, the two-faced behavior. Nothing spoke of adults. And the children were monsters, with the exception of Dakota who didn't have much of a personality at all.

 

The plot was so transparent I could see my hand through it. I had it figured out within about 50 pages. Nothing makes me angrier than a short story that was stuffed to make a novel. This was a prime example. Too much cliche plot filler, too much fluff, too much everything. And none of it was even good. This should have been a novella of max 40 pages. Not 400. Your eyes just glaze after a while. And with the audiobook, it JUST. KEPT. GOING. Every time I thought it was done, it pulled a Return of the King, and popped back up. God. 

 

Yes, this was a overhyped popular book with little substance, one-dimensional characters and a plot any middle grade could see.

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review 2018-08-07 21:50
Purr M for Muuuuuuuurder
Purr M for Murder: A Cat Rescue Mystery - T.C. Lotempio

Well, my dad means well when he sends me stuff. And usually he gets me. He sent me a Golden Girls collectors magazine once, and a cat shirt, and a book about a cat saving Christmas. But this book is just...wow. 

 

I don't read mysteries, for one. And I really don't do cozy mysteries because I find them campy and easy to figure out. But the 52 pages I read of this was like a bad Lifetime movie. Or maybe Hallmark. 

 

I mean, we start out with a conflict with the cat rescue and Baddy McBadguy.

 

 

Rich white Southern man in a 3-piece suit, Italian loafers, and a pit of money for all I know. Beak of a nose, beady eyes, weaselly fellow. Hates do-gooders and only worries about money. Wants to shut down the rescue. It was so straight out of a cookie-cutter Disney Channel movie I couldn't believe it. 

 

The McCall sisters are more of the same stereotypes. One is a jilted former New York exec. The other is the hometown bomb shell who stayed behind to run the family businesses. 

 

All we needed was a motorcycle riding Michael Shanks to show up and we would have a made-for-TV movie there, but I digress. 

 

 

Mmmm.

 

Wait, what? Oh, the book.

 

Anyway, the writing was stilted and stiff. The author didn't have a grasp of modern technology, and the dialogue was forced. The McCall sisters made immature decisions for grown business women, and that's what made me hang it up. When a book places characters in unrealistic positions and has the characters do unbelievable things just to move the story in a certain direction, it shows poor writing. People act a certain way and have certain natural reactions to things, and I am finding more and more that authors do not get that. And I am an author. Like this story: these ladies go to confront  Baddy at his business, they can't find him, it's way early in the morning and dark in the building. Normal people would effing leave. Not these brilliant ladies. They wander inside, using their cellphone as a flashlight, and proceed to just snoop. I closed the book when they had found the office, turned on the lights, saw nobody was there and decided to OPEN A LN ARMOIRE FOR NO REASON. They were there to see a person, not spy. There was no reason to spy, yet the author thought it was a great way to make the women end up caught in the murder web of the book. But do grown women really act this way? I certainly don't. 

 

Two stars, but subtract half a star for the cellphone flashlight stupidity.

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review 2018-08-05 18:01
Blonde Ops
Blonde Ops - Natalie Zaman,Charlotte Bennardo

Omg, I could barely finish the first chapter. Barf. Bec, the main character, is a rich girl kicked out of her prep school for numerous reasons. She's also a hacker with a grudge against authority. Her mother is your typical power-suit wearing business woman with no time for her daughter. Her daughter is clearly troubled and she can't even spare a single hour for her. 

 

As Cinemasins says, SKIP!

 

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review 2018-08-04 21:13
Revolution 19- DNF at 110 pages
Revolution 19 - Gregg Rosenblum

Going to be honest. I made it farther than I expected. But Chapter 14 did me in. We have 3 kids trying to save their parents from killer robots in "The City". They meet a family of resistance fighters, how convenient. But then they proceed to do everything they are instructed NOT to do, which puts every person in danger. And after the dust settles, one of the City girls is swooning over the idiot boy who started the whole mess, calling him a Rock Star and making goo goo eyes. He nearly got you killed with his stupidity. Every human they meet wants to help them, and the robots that keep frying everyone else only seem to chase them. 

 

This is an amateur book for low-intelligence readers who don't want to delve into Terminator. It's full of ex machina, plot holes and one-dimensional characters. 

 

And apparently there's a sequel. Good effing God.

 

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review 2018-07-24 17:46
Uprooted
Uprooted - Naomi Novik

I Liked: the world building, the magic and how it differed from person to person. 

 

I Disliked: most of the characters. Dragon held himself above everyone on his holy crusade and was rude to all around him. Nieshka was dense and ran headlong into trouble without thought of consequences. Falcon was pretty much every stereotypical court wizard with his own hidden agenda to get ahead and usurp the one stronger than him. The king and prince were awful humans. I only liked the Crown Prince, what little we got of him before he bit the dust. I at least enjoyed Kasia and the little prince and princess there at the end. 

 

And the end struggles were well done. But this book would have been better if they had left out 200 pages. It was dense and repetitive. Our young willow witch learning the same damn lessons over and over the hard way because she refuses to listen and Dragon not really teaching her anything so much and commanding knowledge into her thick head.

 

The Wood and all that revolved around it kept me going. I really liked the walkers. I would be the one keeping the giant stick bugs as pets. 

 

Over all, mediocre but not terrible. I wanted to get this done so I could read Spinning Silver. Now I'm a little worried it will be more of the same dense prose.

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