'Well, I expect you have heard of Rule One, right?' he said.
That seemed to give them pause. One said, 'We know millions of rules, human.'
'Billions. Trillions,' said another.
'Well, you can't attack me,' said Lu-Tze, ' 'cos of Rule one.'
The nearest Auditors went into a huddle.
'It must involve gravitation.'
'No, quantum effects. Obviously.'
'Logically there cannot be a Rule One because at that point there would be no concept of plurality.'
'But if there is not a Rule One, can there be any other rules? If there is no Rule One, where is Rule Two?'
'There are millions of rules! They cannot fail to be numbered!'
Wonderful, thought Lu-Tze. All I have to do is wait until their heads melt.
The Auditors are great.
'Understood, said one of the incarnate ones. 'We know the way. We will lead.'
It walked into the door
The Auditors clustered around the door for a while, and then one of them glared at Lady LeJean, who smiled.
'Doorknob,' she said.
The Auditor turned back to the door, stared at the brass knob, and then looked the door up and down. It dissolved into dust.
'Doorknob was simpler,' said Lady LeJean.
As a matter of fact, Death has never really got the hang of doorknobs either. Or latches.