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review 2014-07-18 04:20
THE DARK TOWER Review
The Dark Tower - Stephen King

On its own, THE DARK TOWER is a train wreck. Much like SONG OF SUSANNAH, it's all over the place, and meta-as-fuck. Because of this, my review of book seven will cover the series as a whole. Say sorry. Say thankee, sai. 

 

I read the first three books (THE GUNSLINGER, THE DRAWING OF THE THREE, and THE WASTE LANDS) when I was thirteen. When WIZARD AND GLASS came out, I read that one, and hated it. I still hate it, even after three reads. In 2003, I reread the first four books in anticipation of the release of the final three, which King announced early that year. Then, when it came out, I read WOLVES OF THE CALLA, and in 2004 I raced through SONG OF SUSANNAH (which I hated only slightly less than WIZARD AND GLASS) and, eventually, the seventh and final book, THE DARK TOWER. Ten years later, King released THE WIND THROUGH THE KEYHOLE, I blew through that one and found it a pleasant bit of storytelling. That's the history. Now onto the 2014 reread.

 

In April, Dan of Dantastic Reviews, posted on Booklikes that he would be rereading the series, one book a month, and asked if anyone wanted to join him. Since it'd been a decade since I finished Roland's quest, I jumped at the chance, hoping that this time I'd enjoy it more. Overall, I did. WOLVES was far better the second time around, as was TOWER, but I actually hated WIZARD AND GLASS even more this go around, and found my feelings hadn't changed whatsoever where SONG OF SUSANNAH was concerned. I also reread THE WIND THROUGH THE KEYHOLE between WIZARD AND GLASS and WOLVES OF THE CALLA, as King intended. In the end, I laughed, I cried, I mourned the loss of close friends, and would still recommend the series to anyone who enjoys epic quests, crazy-original monsters, meta-fiction, and amazing world building. 

 

With the Dark Tower series, King does here what King does best: character development. You come to love every member of Roland's ka-tet, and, even when the series starts going down hill at the rate of a cinderblock dropped from the tippy-top of the Empire State Building, you're compelled to continue reading because you have to know how everything character's story ends. In fact, their fates are the best part of the entire series, and the most touching material King has ever written. Come the halfway mark of THE DARK TOWER, the tears begin, and do not let up until the final page. Strangely enough, the last sentence of the final book makes me want to start reading the entire thing all over again, but I won't, at least not for another decade, probably when my daughter's old enough to enjoy reading through it with her old man. 

 

Highlights of the series include: All the fantastic set pieces throughout the series, the battle of Tull, Jakes fall (only because it's so well done), the incomparable originality of THE DRAWING OF THE THREE, the shoot out at Balazar's place, the end of Jack Mort, Shardik's attack, every bit of the mad dash through Lud, Blaine's riddling (even though I'm one of the few who loved that insane train), the end of WIZARD AND GLASS (because, you know, it does finally end, and that's a great feeling, the fact that it's over), the titular part of THE WIND THROUGH THE KEYHOLE, the return of Father Donald Callahan (the disgraced priest from the tragic town of `Salem's Lot), the slaughter of the Wolves, the return of Sheemie (the only good part of WIZARD), Roland, Susannah, and Oy's time on Odd Lane, the thing under Castle Discordia, the final fates of Eddie Dean, Jake Chambers, Oy, and Roland, the circle completed.

 

Low points of the series include: the lackluster ending of THE GUNSLINGER, the insta-love between Eddie and Susannah, WIZARD AND GLASS (the entire book, plus the plagiarism of THE WIZARD OF OZ), the bloated nature of WOLVES OF THE CALLA (seriously, that book could have been at least two hundred pages shorter, but that can be said of all King's book since FIRESTARTER), Stephen King writing himself into the series, 95% of SONG OF SUSANNAH, Walter/Flagg's disappointing death, part one of THE DARK TOWER (which should have been the end of SONG, and I still have no idea why it wasn't), the anti-climactic fate of Mordred, the description of the Crimson King (Santa Claus... fucking really!?), the dickhead move of complaining about how readers don't understand that storytelling should be about the journey and not the destination, and how King basically says he only wrote about what Roland finds inside the dark tower because he didn't want to hear people's shit, and, finally, the fact that the series is over, that Roland's quest is finished... kind of.

 

Important bits that are missing from the series: Roland and the last of the gunslingers' final fight against Farson's army (my rage boner throbs epically because we get every single boring detail of Susan and Roland's bullshit love story, but King only mentions the fight with the Good Man in a brief flashback in WOLVES), the period of time when Jake becomes a complete and utter badass (he goes from being a scared kid in THE WASTE LANDS to taking on the Wolves as if his spine were made of iron and his sack roughly the size of a bowling ball, the fate of Ted Brautigan (he of HEARTS IN ATLANTIS).

 

In summation: Yes, there are a lot of craptastic parts about this series, and plenty of unanswered questions, but, other than THE LORD OF THE RINGS, this is the only fantasy series I've ever been able to finish. I've attempted A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE, THE WHEEL OF TIME doorstops, Moorcock's Elric Saga, and THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA (a.k.a The Bible featuring Greek Mythology) and couldn't finish more than two books of each. If nothing else, read the first three books in the Dark Tower series and skip the rest. WIZARD is a complete bore, SONG is incomplete, TOWER is a rushed train wreck, and WOLVES is filled with loads of superfluous information, yet the Dark Tower tale as a whole is a definite five-star read, if for no other reason than my unfaltering love for every character. Some of the best friends I've ever known in life live between the pages of these books, and I miss them already. Say thankya, sai King. 

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text 2014-07-11 11:39
Death Bringer (Skulduggery Pleasant) - Derek Landy

This one's going in my review queue. Hopefully I can review it later today or tomorrow, once I've finished with HoA......

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review 2014-03-14 23:34
Karneval, Vol. 7
Karneval 07 - Touya Mikanagi

I love these characters so much, okay? Really. It hurts, I love them so much. There wasn't a lot of plot in this volume - mostly just Gareki starting at the school and the other characters wandering around and being perfectly adorable in his absence.

 

Hiratooooooooooo I mean everyone was so precious in this volume. There's just too much adorableness for me to even list off. Akari-chan and Hirato and Tsukumo and Nai and Jiki and Tsuki-chan and Yogi and even Gareki, stuck sulking in his school arc - they're all so sweet and perfect. Akari-chan passed out on the couch is possibly the most adorable thing I've ever seen. And yes, I'm abusing the word "adorable" in this review. I'm sorry. But my respect for Kiichi went up eleven-thousand percent when she went to fetch darling Akari-chan a blanket.

 

And Karoku. Karoku, sweetheart, please get better soon, okay? I'm tired of crying because you're hurting. And I'm tired of Nai being upset because you're hurting. Just get better. I'm begging you. And if you don't get better soon, I'll reach into the page and snuggle you. That's a threat - take it seriously. And I might steal your Niji while I'm at it, he's sooooooooo darned adorable. Although I don't think I could actually do that to either of you. You need to be together. Got it?

 

I'd paste a ton of spoilers here, but I think I'll keep this review clean for the moment. Just - I love this series. A lot. Too much. I don't know, but I seriously love it to death, okay? It's funny, and sweet, and pretty, and it's full of action and amazing characters and really, the premise of Circus is one of the awesomest (is that a word?) ideas ever.

 

Oh, and Mikanagi's art was good at the beginning, but I have to say, it's getting better all the time. Hirato's head is still too small and his hands (along with some other characters' hands) are ridiculously gigantic, but the artwork is still beautiful. I actually think I love it more than I should? It's like I have to keep reminding myself of its flaws, because I spend so much time admiring it that I forget they're there.

 

And Karneval has the most adorable omake - omakes? omake's? Whatever - ever. Well, Karneval and Pandora Hearts, anyway. But Karneval's omakes don't make me cry like PH's do - they just make me laugh until I have tears running down my cheeks.

 

This series makes me . . . happy. Really, glowingly, fuzzy-and-warm and dying-of-laughter happy. It cheers me up instantly. There isn't actually much stuff in the world that makes me as happy as Karneval, now that I think about it. Mostly just cats, and Pandora Hearts - and PH makes me cry as often as not. Karneval just brightens my day. I adore it. 

 

Five stars again. And I think I'll show you just one sweet little thing before I sign off - Tsuki-chan thinks you're looking a little down, and he wants to cheer you up. I'll hand you over to him. Bye!

 

Tsukichan hug

 

(How can you say no to that? Really. He's got to be the best leader ever. *cuddles baby Tsuki-chan*)

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text 2014-03-14 23:17
Reading progress update: I've read 200 out of 200 pages.
Karneval 07 - Touya Mikanagi

I have decided. I knew I adored most/all of the voice actors who were involved with the Karneval anime, but THEY ARE THE SWEETEST AND MOST PERFECT AND FUNNIEST GROUP EVER. AND BY THE WAY, THEY'VE ALL DONE AMAZING PERFECT JOBS VOICING MY BABIES THEIR CHARACTERS.

 

Just thought I'd say that. I love them.

 

And I love Touya Mikanagi. She's adorable.

 

bubbling hearts

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text 2014-03-14 22:55
Reading progress update: I've read 121 out of 200 pages.
Karneval 07 - Touya Mikanagi

GAREKI. YOU ARE MAKING BABY YOGI CRY. STOP IT. SEND HIM A REPLY RIGHT NOW.

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