Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life From Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed is a collection of the letters and responses that were printed in the advice column, "Dear Sugar", from The Rumpus. The topics range from love and marriage, cheating, identity (sexual and otherwise), parenting, relationships with parents/children, grief, and abuse. Strayed does not pull her punches and she doesn't apologize for it either. She somewhat softens the blows of her blunt advice and observations with endearments like 'sweet pea' and 'honey bun' but instead of sounding condescending it feels like it could be delivered by a trusted confidant. Lest you think that she gives this advice from a rather standoffish perspective it is often conveyed through her own personal experiences and struggles. When the column was originally written her identity was unknown which makes the intimacy and the rawness of the letter writers and her response to them such a unique and wonderful thing. If you've ever experienced turmoil in any area of your life (and you'd have to because that's just a natural part of things) then reading such real, honest advice delivered with love and respect is a welcome breath of fresh air. I laughed, cried, and goggled with incredulity while reading this book. It's an excellent palate cleanser if you're in a book reading rut or a great way to kick start your summer reading adventure. ;-) 10/10

The inner flap contains some great quotes. [Source: Cook, Wine, & Thinker!]

 

What's Up Next: The American Way of Death Revisited by Jessica Mitford

 

What I'm Currently Reading: Condoleezza Rice: A memoir of my extraordinary, ordinary family and me by Condoleezza Rice

I started a new "Dear Abby" blog post section from readers, answered by one of my readers!

Dear Mia & Sugar,
I want to attend a book signing(s), but there are SO many types to choose from. I must admit—I am overwhelmed and am in need of book signing advice.

Keep reading here http://cristinharber.com/archive/dear-mia-and-sugar/dear-mia-and-sugar-seeking-book-signing-advice/

This book will break your heart. It broke mine. How can a collection of advice column questions and answers have such power? It’s all Sugar. By now, everyone knows that Sugar is actually the author Cheryl Strayed. This does not alter the fact that I think of her as Sugar, as an entity all her own and full of good words for very troubled people. I so desperately want to write to Sugar myself, though I know she no longer “exists” as that person. I want to tell her that when I picked up a cheap electronic version of this book, I was expecting something cute and heartwarming and maybe occasionally funny but got so very much more. The pain and confusion that she was able to sift through, both hers and others, is astonishing. And it is helping me sift through some of my own.

I know there are readers that didn’t like that Sugar spent so much time sharing her own stories, but I think her bravery in revealing so much about herself is what gave her responses so much power. To know that someone comes from a place of understanding and experience is important when you reveal your most troubling or shameful self, even pseudonymously. It doesn’t hurt that Strayed/Sugar is a beautiful writer, and her words are brimming with compassion and heartfelt sympathy.

The letters collected here are just a tiny drop in a large bucket of life experiences, but it feels like they cover a little bit of everything. The father who is overwhelmed by grief at the loss of his son; the daughter failed by a miserable father; the man who believes himself to ugly to ever be loved; the mother who wants to help her children but also wants them to become capable adults; the gay son who has been hiding his life and must be true to himself; and dozens of others facing choices that are unfair but unavoidable. Most of these people know the answers to their questions, you can often hear it in the way they word their letters. More often than not, Sugar doesn’t give just her own advice, but helps them root through the words they have written to discover the answers that are already there. And her responses are never couched in aphorisms or armchair psychology- they are raw and straightforward and unflinching. They are the kind of words we need to hear, even we don’t want to hear them and we’re trying our best to dance around them. They are indeed tiny, beautiful things that can make a world of difference.

Should an advice column make you want to cry? Because these make me want to cry.