Magpie - Waldorph

This story just completely sucked me in, to the point that I am really glad I didn't have much else to do today so I could just spend time reading it, as is necessary because it's - ugh, good. There are moments in this that are really very sad, but how can you have a ST fic involving Tarsus IV and Jim's resulting trauma and not have there be any sad? It's also quite beautiful. And it convinced me I really do need a shelf for bonding stories.

Spock felt almost bad that he could not explain Jim better, but he was aware that every time he attempted to explain he ended up making Jim sound bad. He had tried it in Standard, in English, and in Vulcan, but he could not find the correct words. Could not find the word they could accept—he had a feeling that his mother would be very displeased if he told her Jim was t'hy'la.

I absolutely loved it and can't wait to read more by the author.

Spock had lived all of Jim's trauma second-hand. He had found solace in the eye of the hurricane, taking advantage of the way Jim could keep everything at bay. I know you, he thought. I do not want to know who I am without you.

The writing isn't perfect and there are some typos but it's still great.

Edit: initally didn't add this quote cuz I typed this up just before bed and clearly I shouldn't do that since I come back and remember stuff I've forgotten, but - quote:

Sybok doesn't believe in the concept of t'hy'la, has never experienced it.

Not many do, but Sarek knows how to recognize it, and thinks that Spock is not the one they should be so very concerned about.

He can see the way Jim has angled his body towards Spock, the way he keeps contact, and the way he defers to Spock every time a doctor speaks. More often than not, it is Spock who replies, who knows allergies and medical histories while Jim lays back, tired and resigned and like the child he is. It is abruptly, starkly obvious that Jim Kirk has no one else in the world but Spock.

(spoiler show)

Couldn't get into it, read awkwardly for me and never sparked my interest.

The Boy Who Only Lived Twice - lettered

3.5stars

Started reading this sometime last month around Xmas time before my kindle errored out and cut off the story. So this had an intriguing enough premise to come back to and I'm both glad I did and also a little underwhelmed in parts.



And that's about as much as I feel like writing for this story, here's a quote:

“For the last time, I’m not polishing his broomstick.”

“Though it sounded as if you might like to.”

“Wanker.”

Note: noticeable editing errors

when my soul invites you - Mekina

Reading this was hard. On one hand it helps that while reading I've been watching SoA, but with the specific episodes (fuck all of S2 man, geez) it might've actually made reading this fic that much worse. Usually I can get through reading stuff like this because fiction (and not thinking too hard about how very real the situation can be for people) but geez. The point is: this is not an easy read. It's not exactly happy and the beginning is nothing but fucked up. I can't even pull a quote out for a good preview without it feeling too spoilery, so here it is hidden:

"How do you want me?" He seems completely unashamed of his nakedness. Almost unaware, like he's accustomed to it.

(spoiler show)

I think what makes it really hard to read is that in watching SPN this is a scenario (or some variation thereof) I've thought of before, one that an SPN fan pairing the Winchesters (within themselves, outside of ok not completely but really, how do they get away from that without being AU? the supernatural) with darkness in general has at least considered, however momentarily. So this isn't a new concept, far from it. But that doesn't make this one any easier.

It's no secret that leonidaslion is the master of broken!Dean, but Mekina is definitely an author I'll be reading again for more sad and broken Dean.

I. I am at a loss for words. I went into this expecting...no I don't even know what I was expecting. Feels of a sort. Likely a happy sort. This. This is not at all what I was expecting. And it is beautiful.

"Oh, fuck no," he says aloud, startled by the sudden clarity of the recognition. It's a horrible idea on so many levels, Merlin can't even begin to count them, but that doesn't change the fact that the thought of Arthur makes him feel giddy and sick and utterly, soppily in love. He wants to wake up next to Arthur and engage in gross displays of public indecency with him and force him to eat vegetables.

The feels in this one though. I was utterly unprepared for the onslaught of emotion. This is romantic and heartfelt and achingly sad in moments. I tried so hard not to cry and for the most part I held the tears at bay but that is only because the authors must have been feeling generous and kind enough not to dwell on the angst as they easily could have.

Arthur swallows hard and turns his face away from Merlin's, heart threatening to beat right off his chest. The terror of Merlin saying no has been replaced by the terror of him actually saying yes. And Arthur can't remember the last time he fucked someone just because he wanted to. This is uncharted, uncertain. He's used to a set of preordained rules that keep him boxed in and keep everyone else out. But Merlin... Arthur has the unsettling feeling that Merlin could peel off all his layers and put them back on in the right order.

And it's 5am and I'm really not feeling coherent enough to string together intelligible sentences in the hopes of conveying how amazing I feel this story is, how much I love it, everything about it, how much it made me feel. If it wasn't so lateearly, fucking hell the sun is coming up soon I might seriously consider rereading this story immediately. Forever on my 'a thousand hearts' shelf this goes!