CYBERSNOOP NATION
THE NEW ADVENTURES OF LITTANIE WEBSTER
PRIVATE EYE
You also may wish to see my paperback novel, How to Start Engaging Conversations on Women's, Men's, or Family Studies with Wealthy Strangers: A Thriller, by Anne Hart. Published March 29, 2007.
A FILM SCRIPT AND/OR PLAY
Copyrighted by
Anne Hart
FADE IN:
TITLE SEQUENCE SLITSCAN EFFECT
1 INT. Littanie'S SACRAMENTO APARTMENT NIGHT
Littanie, is sound asleep in a bedroom lined from floor to ceiling with shelves displaying rows of stuffed toy teddy bears and lop eared bunnies dressed in cute outfits.
PAN
from the faces of the teddy bears and bunnies to the front
cover of her new book. (The cover will have a photo of her
talking into a radio station microphone. The title will be:"The Nation's #1 Midnight Shift Teenage Talk Show Host.)
ANGLE ON
her book which stands on the night table next to her bed.
Next to her book is also a clock radio on the same table.
PAN
from her book on night stand next to a clock radio then to
Littanieas she sleeps in her bed.
2 EXT. JUST OUTSIDE Littanie'S APARTMENT DOOR.
ANGLE ON CRAIG
CRAIG, Littanie's boyfriend, knocks on the door.
CUT TO:
3 INT. Littanie'S APT.
as Littanierushes to the door to let Craig in.
Littanie
Craig!
Littanie shuts the door and leans against it, immediately.
PAN
Messy room. A stack of her own books is piled high in the
middle of the floor. Her photo on the cover is visible.
CUT TO:
Littanie’s she begins to scramble to pick up stuff and neaten the room. Craig knocks on the door again. She quickly straightens one more item, then slowly opens the door and lets him in.
Craig looks around at the messy room.
CRAIG
Expecting guests?
Littanie
(pauses)
Yeah. I knew you were coming
over, so I cleaned up a bit.
The brilliant and beautiful young radio talk show
psychologist frantically runs around her apartment.
She's half dressed, barefoot. One earring on, totally
off centered. She kicks over a stack of her books and they
fall all over the floor.
DOLLYING WITH Littanie
as she runs from room to room, leaving her boyfriend, CRAIG EVANS, cooling his heels in the dining room facing a stack of dirty dishes that sway, rattle, and fall on the floor before he can catch them.
Her pace quickens as she searches for something, leaving no sofa pillow unturned.
Littaniedives under the tables, running like a rat in a maze
throughout everyroom. As she searches each room of the
apartment, she tosses pillows, books, small chairs, and other household items randomly about so that the apartment ends up looking like it was again ransacked by its inhabitant.
ANGLE OVER Littanie'S SHOULDER,
as she finally locates a black attache case under a desk. A white long haired fancy cat is curled up on top of the
attache case.
Littanieshoves the cat off, retrieves the case and frantically rushes into the foyer to hand it to her long time no see boyrfriend, CRAIG EVANS.
CRAIG, a cold and calculating guy with a mean face, is busy and annoyed walking from her dining room carrying a stack of dirty dinner dishes into the kitchen when she trips over a stack of the books she's just written and takes a flying leap.
CRAIG suddenly turns to see her trip and drops the stack of dirty dishes on the immaculately white thick shag carpet.
ANGLE ON
dirty dishes full of spaghetti and tomato sauce running
wildly all over the white carpet and breaking into pieces as he opens his arms and she falls into them.
He catches her and breaks her fall. She pulls him down with her into the mess of spaghetti sauce and dirty broken dishes on the totally white carpet.
CRAIG
You're so damn independent,
aren't you? Just look at you,
just because you’re parents
are abroad for the summer,
doesn’t mean you can act like
you’re anywhere near sixteen.
Craig shakes her a little, then begins to kiss her on the
neck.
Littanie
I'm closer to twelve, and I see what want--intelligence. I envy you. I envy your even though I make twice
as much and I’m not even out
of junior high yet.
Littanie pulls away from his embrace and begins to crawl around cleaning things up as she talks while Craig is pursuing her.
CRAIG
Why do you need another
obstacle?
Littanie
Because I'm afraid of becoming
a fourteen-year old bag lady being alone with no cash,
napping in doorways,
nowhere to rest. It's bad luck,
and it's the biggest fear of
women.
Littanieglances at the clock and sighs, knowing she's going to be late. She hates leaving a messy apartment. Her pace
quickens as she continues to clean up. Craig follows her
around being a terrific nuisance.
CRAIG
I don't know why you won't
marry me. How can you compare
your talk show psycho babble to
my secure profession as a
pathologist? It's a joke.
Littanie
I'm going to be late again.
He laughs viciously. Littanieturns around to Craig, because of his sarcasm. She's stressed. Craig grabs her and kisses her, smearing her lipstick on her face.
Littanie
What!
Then she steps back to take a look at him.
Littanie
A joke. I work hard at what I
do.
She hands him his attache case as they kiss, using the
attache case as a barrier between them, shoving it into his stomach.
Littanie
Why would you want to marry a
woman who sleeps with seventeen
hundred teddy bears and bunnies
in her bedroom?
CRAIG
Because they make me laugh.
Littanie
Oh? I thought I made you laugh.
You'll have to leave now.
CRAIG
I don't want to.
He embraces her, and she pulls away.
Littanie
When I say I'm late for work,
you pass right over me. Don't I
deserve a man who's crazy in
love with Littanie?
CRAIG
I'm crazy.
Littanie
No, Craig. What you have is
Swiss cheese holes in your
conscience.
They both help each other up. Craig glances briefly at his
clothing covered with sauce. Littanietakes a tissue out of her pocket, dips it into a glass part full of water tumbled on the floor and starts cleaning the cuff of his dark suit jacket.
CRAIG
It's all right.
Craig takes his attache case and heads for the door with Littaniefollowing.
Littanie
I'm sorry. It's just that you
disappear for weeks without
warning. And then you suddenly
show up just before midnight
and demand that I give you full
attention...when I'm leaving
for work.
He pauses with his hand on the door knob, half rushing out, then turns and kisses her again. Craig pulls out a
handkerchief and wipes the smeared lipstick off Littanie.
Littanie
Oh...Just a second. You left a
book the last time you were
here.
Littanie runs into the bedroom to find the book Craig left.
Littanie'S BEDROOM
She frantically searches her room for this book.
CUT TO:
CRAIG
searching frenetically for her phone. He finds it under the sofa pillow and sits down, unscrewing the mouthpiece. He inserts a bugging device and screws on the mouthpiece.
CRAIG
Aren't you afraid your
listeners will find out how
timid you really are and stalk
you to death?
Littanie
Sweet and cuddly, not timid,
Craig dear.
Craig walks back to the front door. Littaniewalks to Craig with the book.
Littanie
Here ya go.
She hands him the book.
CRAIG
Love you, Littaniedarling. Why
won't you reconsider letting me
move in with you?
Littanie
Now's just not a good time.
What is it you love about me?
The way I keep my house so
clean.
CRAIG
Hey, I'll call you.
Littanie
I'll be waiting.
They hug and kiss one more time.
ANGLE ON Littanie'S FACE as she grimaces, tears welling up in her eyes, wishing she could let Craig live with her. Littanie goes to her room looking for a picture of Craig. She finds it, stares at it. She kisses her finger. Then she touches the picture with her finger.
Littanie
I'll think about it.
Littaniesuddenly realizes again she's late as she glances at her watch. Immediately she gets her purse and coat and walks toward her telephone.
CUT TO:
3 INT. CRAIG'S CAR NIGHT
Craig enters his car and sits there, parked. He turns on his tape recording device to listen to Littanie.
ANGLE ON DR. TANYA TAMIROVA,
as she lays on the back seat of Craig's car, reading a
fashion magazine.
She's an exotically beautiful Russian scientist, about the
same age as Littanie.
Craig hands TANYA his attache case. Tanya grabs Craig
around the throat and kisses him from behind. He grins as she breaks her grip to open the attache case.
CLOSE ON OPEN ATTACHE CASE
Inside are copies of Littanie's latest book and a batch of
letters tied together. She fondles the envelopes with letters and snaps the case shut.
TANYA
Did she see anything?
CRAIG
No. She's madly in love with
me. I even proposed to her.
TANYA
(laughing)
Brilliant women always make
foolish choices in men.
Craig flips on his recording device which is picking up all sounds in Littanie's apartment as well as her phone
conversations.
ANGLE ON TAPE RECORDER
in Craig's car. The dial tone from Littanie's phone begins to
sound inside Craig's car, as Tanya searches further in his
attache case.
CUT TO:
4 Littanie'S APARTMENT
ANGLE ON Littanieas she dials her office. The phone rings.
CUT TO:
CRAIG in his car as he listens to Littanieon phone calling her STATION MANAGER, JIM.
JIM
K.W.I.N. Station manager.
Littanie
I'm sorry. I'll be late for
work.
JIM
What! Boyfriend trouble again?
Littanieanswers with a long sigh.
Craig turns down the recorder so it records, but is silent.
ANGLE back and forth between the expressions on Tanya and
Craig as Tanya opens a bottle of champagne and takes out two glasses from the back seat of the luxurious car.
TANYA pours her glass of champagne over Littanie's books stacked on the car seat.
ANGLE ON Littanie's photo on the book cover as the champagne runs over the books.
TANYA
So, she's made the best seller
list?
Tanya takes a long drink of champagne.
CRAIG
That's hate radio for you.
Craig turns up recorder again so he and Tanya sitting in the car continue listening to the phone conversation between Littanieand Jim.
CUT TO:
5 RADIO STATION AT K.W.I.N. ANGLE ON STATION MANAGER, JIM MC CORMICK, AT RADIO STATION.
Jim shuffles papers and hands a stack of papers to a station engineer. He cups the phone with his shoulder as Jim continues his phone conversation with Littanie.
JIM
Are you sure you don't want to
talk about that boyfriend
trouble? Your listeners are
complaining about the excess of
repeat taped shows.
CUT TO:
Littanie
Did you ever notice that women
feel more important if they get
married, but men feel
diminished?
CUT TO:
JIM
Do I have to give you
permission to be happy?
Littanie
Well, at least you have that
day job, whatever it is. What
is it, anyway?
JIM
Pest control. Why don't you
just stick to giving those
seminars on how to be a bitch?
Littanieclicks the receiver on her boss.
CUT TO:
The click is head loudly in Craig's ear as he sits in the car testing his bugging device in Littanie's apartment. He starts his car and pulls away.
CUT TO:
RADIO STATION K.W.I.N. LOS ANGELES MIDNIGHT
Littanie sits in her recording booth.
Littanie
Open phones, tonight with
Doctor LittanieWhisper, your
favorite midnight popshrink.
Our topic today, guys and gals,
is envy. Do you downgrade
yourself to deflect envy?
CUT TO:
STATION MANAGER, JIM looks at Littanieand smiles broadly.
CUT TO:
Littanieas she talks into the radio microphone.
Littanie
Okay. The boards are lighting
up. Let's go to our first
caller on phone hookup from her
home, guest therapist, Doctor
Anne Joan Levine.
DR. ANNE JOAN LEVINE
Hi, Doctor Whisper.
Littanie
Doctor Levine, why do so many
women emphasize the less
accomplished parts of their
lives while men count their
achievements?
DR. ANNE JOAN LEVINE
You might say, they're afraid
of being envied.
FADE IN:
EXT. GENE WRIGHT'S MOVING AUTO MIDNIGHT
INT. ANGLE INSIDE CAR
GENE WRIGHT, TELEPHONE COMPANY SWITCHMAN, drives his car with
one hand. His other hand fondles a book on the auto seat.
GENE glances quickly at his watch which reads 12:15 a.m.
Gene's late and he's flustered. He glances at his watch
again. On his radio blares the voice of Littanie,
radio talk show hostess and popular psychologist doing her
daily stint on midnight radio. He has a lovesick expression on his face, of ecstasy, as he listens to the bitchy, loud, obnoxious and very rude voice of Littanie Whisper of the shock talk airwaves.
ANGLE ON
Dr. Whisper's book with her photo on the cover in his hand.
ANOTHER ANGLE
Littanie'S PHOTO ON BOOK COVER now laying on car
seat. As Littaniespeaks on the radio we see her photo covering most of the book cover. Littanie
This is your prime motivator,
Littanie, therapist to
the stars. We have a new
caller. Hi Betty. How can I
motivate you to change your
life?
ANGLE ON
Gene as he turns up his radio louder, while driving too fast.
He's late for work and as frantic and rushed as Littanie. He
clicks on his tape recorder to record the voice of the woman he's never met but is madly in love with in his fantasy world of shock radio fandom.
Littanie
Are you still there, Betty?
BETTY stammers a bit, then nervously begins to ask her
question of the two therapists.
BETTY
I'm afraid my husband is having
an affair with his secretary
and wants to throw me in the
street after thirty years of
marriage. He doesn't believe in
alimony, but I've never worked.
I'm afraid of failing if I do.
Littanie
So you're finally realizing
change never changes.
BETTY
I want to be a motivator, just
like you, Doctor Whisper.
Littanie
You're a manipulator with low
self esteem! The other woman's
always more feminine.
BETTY
You're a rude, obnoxious bitch
who can't feel another person's
pain if she has less income or
a not so glamorous job.
Littanie
So don't listen to K.W.I.N.
This show's for yuppies who
want to make their great life
terrific. I'm tired of the
human garbage calling this
station. That's all you
are zombies. Quit calling.
Change the station. But you
don't. You listen. You always
listen. I've been hired to be
the hound of the bitch box
because that gets ratings, and
ratings mean profit for the
station, hon.
Littanieimitates a very old lady with a quivering voice.
Littanie
Oh, Doctor LittanieWhisper, your
internal thinking doesn't match
your external experience. Men
don't buy books on how to fix
relationships.
BETTY
Fortunately I can live my dream
without your advice. But just
out of curiosity, what's the
best deal you ever made?
Littanie
I once traded virginity for
prime California real estate.
Our next caller is Gene, so
breathless on his car phone.
Hello, Gene.
CUT TO:
6 INT. GENE'S CAR
Gene is nervous with anticipation as Littanieaccepts his car
phone call.
GENE
Hello, Doctor Whisper? This is
Gene again, the telephone
repairman.
Littanie
Yes, I remember, one of our
more frequent callers.
Handsome, twenty seven,
wholesome and stable. Have you
found the right girl yet, Gene?
GENE
No. But I bought your latest
book and read the part on
finding your super heroine.
Littanie
You haven't called in a long
time, Gene. So what are you
doing these days, thinking of
me?
GENE
I work all night now...as a
switchman at the phone company.
But in the daytime I'm this
suave private eye...licensed,
of course.
Littanie
Goodness, when do you sleep?
GENE
I've always had insomnia...
ever since I was a kid.
Littanie
Last time you called you were
desperately seeking a job,
right? So somebody finally did
give you the illusion of
control, you multi grain flake.
Gene breaks out in a cold sweat. He laughs nervously. Gene
goes around a corner and the book falls off the car seat to the floor. He reaches down to pick it up.
Another car comes swaying head on almost into him, but he
swerves to avoid it. He hangs up on her by mistake.
GENE
Hello, Dr. Whisper? Hello? Damn
it!
Gene clicks his phone, but it's dead. He accidently hung up on Littanie. He tries to call her back but gets a recording that says:
RECORDING (V.O.)
Thank you for calling. All our
lines are busy. Please hang up
and try again.
CUT TO:
GENE INSIDE HIS MOVING CAR
Gene talks to himself as he records Littanieand glances down at her photo on the book cover. The book is on his lap as he drives to work.
ESTABLISHING SHOT OF GENE DRIVING UP TO TELEPHONE COMPANY
BUILDING
He talks to himself in the car as he draws a moustache with his felt tip pen over her photo.
GENE takes his portable tape recorder/radio with him and his book by Dr. Whisper as he parks his car and hurries up, very late for work, to his work station. Gene rushes up the stairs, annoyed at his own constant lateness.
As Gene enters his work place he has his book in hand and his radio/tape recorder tuned loudly to Dr. Whisper with the radio pressed against his ear.
CUT TO:
7 INT. TELEPHONE COMPANY LOS ANGELES HALF HOUR PAST
MIDNIGHT
PAN INTERIOR FRAME ROOM OF PHONE COMPANY AS CREDITS ROLL.
As GENE WRIGHT rushes in late on his midnight to 8:00
A.M. shift, he greets his co worker, BOB STANTON. Both
are TELEPHONE COMPANY SWITCHMEN. GENE is twenty seven,
single.
BOB is forty, married, with children. GENE is flustered and takes his seat in front of his usual work station, a few feet from Bob.
BOB puts a previous shift's trouble report at GENE'S
workstation for him to follow up.
Bob returns to his testing of the lines.
There is an ambient hum and the flickering of colored
lights at the consoles and test station worksites. Only the two men are at their stations on the midnight shift. The supervisor taps her heels and looks at the clock. She's about to go off duty and leave for home. She's been working the 4:00 p.m. to midnight shift and was anxiously waiting for GENE, who rushes in, late again. JOAN COOKE, his supervisor, a black woman of thirty five shoves the latest shift trouble
report in front of GENE.
JOAN
Where the hell have you been?
Carmel's got trouble calling
Sacramento.
GENE scoops up the TROUBLE REPORT and reads it. Immediately he begins to test the phone lines, listening for garble or static.
There's a lot of static on the lines.
GENE
Not static again!
JOAN
You're late.
ANGLE ON CLOCK. It's half past midnight.
BOB
Even my daughter's wedding
didn't keep me from being late
tonight.
BOB unfolds a napkin and spreads out a buffet of leftover
wedding cake, soda pop, and various snacks. He picks up a
paper bag and dumps some snacks in a bowl he takes out of his lunch box. Bob smiles warmly and offers a bowlful of snacks to Gene.
Gene looks at the snacks and shoves it aside. Bob crams the snacks into his mouth and chews like a starving man. He then takes out some wedding snapshots from an envelope and begins setting up the wedding photos of his daughter in a row for everyone to view as they pass by his work station.
He even takes out a few cards and a wedding present and
unwraps a broken blender, putting it in front of his
workstation.
GENE
You know I can't afford to be
someplace else.
JOAN
No, seriously. This is the
fifth time you've been late in
two weeks. Just where were you?
GENE bends over to arrange papers at his workstation. A
paperback book by Dr. LittanieWhisper with her photo on it
falls out of his brown paper bag along with his sandwich in a plastic zip lock baggie. CLOSE ON Littanie's book.
It has her picture on the cover, a beautiful woman, the title THE PERFECT MOTIVATOR with the subtitle, "Reality is not the way I've told myself it is."
BOB picks up the book with the beautiful Dr. Whisper on the cover, emits a RASPBERRY and smirks. JOAN retrieves his sandwich and tosses it in front of him on his workstation counter.
The baggie opens, and the tomatoes, lettuce, and turkey fly everywhere.
GENE sighs, slouches, and puts his hero sandwich back
together again. He picks up Littanie's book and puts it in his jacket pocket that's slung over his deskchair. Another, different paperback book by Dr. Whisper falls out and he retrieves that one also and puts it in his desk drawer.
BOB
Still studying to be a private
eye? I mean, I'm so busy
marrying off my four daughters,
where do you get off having the
time to be a private eye all
day long?
GENE
Knock it off, Bob.
BOB
Why don't you just take one of
my daughters before they eat up
all the money I saved to buy
the American dream?
GENE
You mean I have to ask a
co worker's permission to have
a hobby after work?
ANGLE ON BOOK BY Littanie
which Gene tosses on the workstation.
BOB
That rude bitch? I ought to
take her over my knee and...
JOAN
Jeez! What a critiholic!
GENE
Half your switchmen spend their
weekends on cocaine or alcohol,
and you pick on the guy with
the least seniority.
BOB
I keep telling 'em they don't
have the energy to handle a
second job.
JOAN distributes the job sheets and checks the
equipment.
She bends over GENE'S work station.
GENE
They should get workin' wives.
JOAN
Got nothin' against
moonlighting. But you be late
one more time, and I'm
suspending you.
JOAN walks out of the room as GENE and BOB stare at her.
GENE
Kitsch bitch! I was
sunlighting.
BOB
(snickering)
I know what she needs.
JOAN overhears it. BOB's left the intercom on.
JOAN (O.S)
Yeah! A raise! My husband split
and I'm three months pregnant.
Embarrassed, and red faced. BOB clicks off the
intercom. He hurries back to work, running through his voice quality monitoring tasks.
At the same time he turns on the radio listening with one ear monitor to Dr. Littanieand with the other one eared "headphone" as he monitors the phones for static.
GENE turns off the speaker which just filled the room with
voices from the phone conversations he's monitoring.
BOB
Would you shut that stupid
radio talk show off while
you're monitoring phone calls?
GENE
Littaniemakes the midnight shift
less of a drowsy routine.
BOB
Last week I even heard my own
wife call in and tell Dr. Littanie
she was a Stepford wife in
training.
Gene grabs his radio, thrusts it in Bob's ear, and for a
moment turns up the radio loud to blast Bob with a comment
from Dr. Littanie.
Littanie
I'm successful because I've
arranged my life with the
belief that I'm lovable.
Bob reaches across the workstation counter and angrily clicks off Gene's radio.
BOB
I bet you've written her a
million letters.
GENE
But she's never read them over
the airwaves. Just thinking
about meeting her in person
gives me an anxiety attack.
Gene stares dreamily into space with a lovesick expression on his face.
BOB
That rude bitch? Now take my
wife.
GENE
I already own a parrot.
BOB
When I married her, she used to
be a waitress. But I'd cut my
throat before I'd let a wife of
mine go out there and work,
getting all mandhandled by guys
accusing her of stealin' their
jobs.
GENE
You could use another paycheck.
BOB
A man's got to protect his ole'
lady.
GENE ignores Bob and fishes in his desk for a tiny tape
recorder.
He starts a tape and shoves a featherweight ear piece in one ear to listen to Dr. Littanie.
SOUND OF DR. LittanieTHROUGH EARPIECE HEADPHONE
Littanie
I haven't taken enough personal
defeats to ruin my goals. Open
lines this hour. I'm waiting
for you. Come on, take your
best shot. Analyze me. I'm
sitting pretty , pretty
vulnerable, that is.
CLOSE ON GENE
as the voice of his boss, JOAN COOKE booms forth over the
intercom (from her own office) drowning out the Dr. Littanie
show.
A loudspeaker blares the supervisor's voice all over the
workstation. Gene yanks the earpiece from his tiny tape
recorder out of one ear and adjusts the one eared phone
company headphone on his other ear.
JOAN
Are you listening to the
static, Mr. Wright, Mr. Gene
Allen Wright?
Gene jumps in fright and whips himself into turning on the
monitor to listen to the phone static, testing the lines
again.
BOB
You're a real jerk, aren't you?
Why the hell are you so damn
obsessed with the Dr. Littanie
Whisper show?
GENE
She makes me laugh.
Gene stares off into space.
GENE
I'd do anything to meet her.
BOB
Maybe you're going to stalk her
with a gun and...bang! Make
like the nuts do to all those
pretty celebrities.
Bob positions his hand like a gun and waves it in Gene's
face.
Gene signals thumbs up, all well sign. He starts testing his phone line, ignoring Bob.
BOB
You're so in love with the
fantasy of her. If you ever
meet her in person, I hope she
turns out to be the bitch she
sounds like.
Gene turns up his tiny tape recorder for a moment just to
blast Bob with a line from Dr. Littanie.
Littanie
Follow your dominant thoughts.
Only in radio can a diploma
mill psychologist with a
C minus average be considered
an intellectual. Of course,
you've got to be crazy to see a
psychiatrist. Normal people
seeking solutions are fished
out to social workers.
Gene turns the radio off. Bob waves him away and goes back to work at his monitor testing for static. Bob makes his hand like a gun and waves it in Gene's face. Gene ignores his work partner.
GENE starts testing out the phone lines and listening for
any noise or static.
He hears garble at first and fiddles with the lines.
Suddenly the trouble disappears. To do his job GENE and BOB must monitor the phone circuits for voice quality.
He listens briefly for 2 or 3 seconds for the sound quality of each voice. After listening briefly to several voices BOB hears one conversation that's hilarious. A couple in love is talking hot and heavy about their sex life and what they're
going to do that evening.
BOB
Hey, Gene, listen to this.
BOB turns up the speaker as sound fills the room so GENE
can monitor the conversation. If the boss walks in, he'll be
fired on the spot. He's scared, but he listens. There's not
much else to do on the midnight shift after the garble/static
is fixed.
WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
Tell me what you want me to do.
MAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
I want to eat your...
STATIC comes back and drowns out the conversation.
MAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
with a little gold spoon.
STATIC again. Nothing more can be heard.
BOB
Damn it!
BOB fiddles with the knobs.
GENE
(laughing loudly)
Now Doctor LittanieWhisper would
tell him to fantasize his way
to success.
BOB
You're going nuts. Now take me,
for instance. I've been married
twenty years. My four daughters
cost me a bundle.
GENE
You must be real proud.
BOB
If only they were boys! Girls
make trouble. When they were
born I asked the doctor to
check twice. Maybe he made a
mistake. Four burdens.
GENE laughs some more. GENE begins to test the lines at his own workstation as BOB finally gets down to his
line testing/voice quality monitoring business.
GENE tunes into another adrenaline pumping conversation
between a husband and wife having a firey pre divorce
argument.
SECOND MAN (O.S.)
(with a foreign
accent)
You're a stone around my neck.
I want a divorce and I want
custody of the kids. I'm
sending them to my mother.
American women have the morals
of pigs.
SECOND WOMAN (O.S.)
You'll never take my babies out
of the country. Now I know why
you filed for divorce the day
after you got American
citizenship.
SECOND MAN (O.S.)
You're dead, you filthy whore.
If I catch you, I'll kill you.
SECOND WOMAN (O.S.)
Who the hell do you think you
are? Your father was Hitler's
pornographer.
Gene laughs and stammers with excitement as he turns down the conversation. He nudges his elbow into BOB'S ribs.
GENE
Hey, listen to what's coming
from some foreign consulate
building.
BOB
Only three seconds per test for
voice quality. Remember? Or
maybe you don't have enough
seniority.
GENE
I was just testing the line.
This old fart was Hitler's
pornographer.
BOB
Oh, shut up and get to work.
For a moment he turns the volume on the same conversation
back up again.
SECOND MAN (O.S.)
I'm sending the kids back to my country where
they'll never see
the vices of Western
morals.
SECOND WOMAN (O.S.)
How can you take my babies away
after I had three Caesarian
sections?
SECOND MAN (O.S.)
My mother will raise them.
It's cheaper.
SECOND WOMAN (O.S.)
I'll kill myself if you leave
me.
GENE
(shaking his head)
It's just like talk radio.
BOB
You say somethin'?
GENE
No, just testing lines, Bob.
Just changing the station.
GENE changes the line. He gets more static. GENE makes some adjustments.
He begins to monitor a third conversation for two seconds
but decides to stick with it and listen longer, knowing if he's caught, he'll be fired on the spot.
THIRD MAN
I'm so depressed, I can't go on
any longer. A man is nothing
without a job.
Gene changes the call quickly, looking a bit saddened,
wounded by the crisis of night calls. He listens to a fourth call, more static. He adjusts the lines and fixes it just as the party sobs.
FOURTH MAN
I'll take care of all the
arrangements after we get back
from her funeral.
Fourth man hangs up.
ANGLE ON CLOCK
that now reads: 5:30 a.m.
Bob is busy repairing static. Bells and buzzers go off, as
the trouble static is pinpointed.
Then all is silent for a pause. Gene, working next to Bob,
stares at the clock as he takes a gulp of coffee with a look of relief. We look at the clock from Gene's P.O.V.
GENE
Two and a half hours left on
this shift.
BOB
Can't take a break now, so
don't ask.
Bob continues delving into the equipment with his electronic testing devices.
Gene wipes his hand across his brow as he resumes monitoring
the calls. He adjusts his one eared headphone and turns up
the volume on his voice quality monitor.
By the FIFTH CALL he's monitoring, Gene starts out listening to the static. But for a moment the static fades as he turns the knobs. As Gene listens to monitor static on the lines and repair it, he can hardly make out what's being said. Then he hears the words loud and clear:
FIFTH MAN (O.S.)
(loud static between
words)
...want to murder Dr. Littanie
Whisper, the radio
psychologist...
FOURTH MAN (O.S.)
Does she know?
FIFTH MAN (O.S.)
No. I've intercepted the
telegrams and phone calls. She
thinks...
(more static)
...I'll pay you two million
dollars to...
(more static)
Static continues, wiping out the voices. Gene bends over his headphone and listens harder, using every bit of his
electronic genius to repair the switching machine.
He can't hear anything now. He frantically races to adjust
the dials and switches.
FOURTH MAN (O.S.)
Two million isn't enough. I'll
have to take care of the
publisher as well. What did you
expect? After all it's an
unauthorized biography.
FIFTH MAN
She's written two other stupid
books on guerrilla tactics for
desperate women.
FOURTH MAN
Don't be so clever. America
reads Littanie.
FIFTH MAN
What's the lady's address and
phone?
FOURTH MAN
500 West Kendall Drive
555 9326.
FIFTH MAN
It'll be done in seven...
Static wipes out the rest of the conversation. Gene
frantically plays with the dials and controls, but can't hear what's being said. The conversation is unintelligible under the cloud of static and garble.
Gene can't hear anything no matter how hard he tries to fix the garble. GENE is startled. He scribbles her address and number.
GENE
Oh come on, seven what days,
hours, minutes, months?
Gene tries again, more static. He can't get the conversation up again on the voice quality monitor.
ANGLE ON BOB
Bob is nodding off to sleep at his workstation, a mountain of snacks in front of him. Gene looks closer at Bob as Bob
begins to snore in a deeper sleep with a sandwich in his
mouth.
GENE
So you're taking your
fifteen minute break, after
all.
ANGLE ON GENE
Quickly Gene dials the number. He's wired beyond belief by
his own adrenaline. Gene dials the radio station.
GENE
I have to speak to Dr. Whisper.
It's a matter of life and
death. I'm a phone company
switchman making an emergency
call.
JIM
Whoa! Calm down, mister. This
is the station manager.
GENE
Some guy's offering two million
to have her murdered by seven
something or in seven.... Would
you just call her?
JIM
Dr. Whisper went home an hour
and a half ago. She's only on
the midnight to four a.m.
shift. Besides, Why don't you
tell her publisher? Maybe he'll
print more books. Hey, is this
another bomb threat to the
station?
Gene bangs the receiver and quickly dials Littanie's home number.
A beautiful woman, about thirty, LittanieWHISPER, answers in a feminine, sexy, and sultry voice, a voice and personality so lovable, so sweet and totally opposite to her rude hound of the bitch box shock radio personality evident to her
listeners across the national network of radio talk shows.
8 INT. THE BEDROOM OF LittanieWHISPER MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
Littanieis asleep. She's annoyed as the ringing phone wakes her.
Angle on her night stand clock which reads 5:35 a.m.
Littanie
All right.
She takes a deep breath and braces herself.
Littanie(continued)
Which relative died? Or is my
book contract cancelled?
ANGLE ON GENE as he rocks nervously in his seat.
GENE
Who is this?
Littanieis her sweet, lovable self and speaks in a shy, sultry and glamorous voice.
Littanie
Doctor LittanieWhisper. How can I
help you? You must be
desperately lonely to have
called me so late at home.
GENE
I'm sorry. I have the wrong
number.
Littanielashes her personality into the bitch she is only on the airwaves. Now she talks rudely.
Littanie
I'll say you have, you creep.
Do you know what damn time it
is?
She bangs the receiver, turns over and goes back to sleep.
ANGLE ON GENE as he writes down her name above her address and phone number. GENE rips the scrap of paper off the pad and puts it in his shirt pocket. He turns and looks at his co worker sitting a few feet from him. Gene shakes BOB.
He continues snoring with a sandwich in his hand near his
mouth. Gene leaves Bob sleep.
Gene makes Littanie's number come up on his monitor screen. He
adjusts a few dials and makes the lines in Littanie's apartment go right to the phone company. In essence, Gene's now bugged her phone.
Gene takes out his small tape recorder from his workstation desk and attaches it to a line so every phone call coming into Littanie's house will be recorded (bugged). Anyone in the phone comany can make any phone line go to the phone company switching office and be recorded there on a tape recorder.
Gene yanks off his headphone and leaves his monitoring
equipment at the workstation.
Gene bolts out of the office and bumps into his supervisor as he passes her office on his way out to rescue Littanie. He's in a frenzy and his supervisor is determined to make him stay until the end of his shift.
JOAN
Where do you think you're going
at a quarter to six?
Joan stops him by the shoulers. Gene pulls out of her grip.
GENE
Emergency! My father had a
stroke and the ambulance never
showed up.
Gene shoves her out of the way.
JOAN
Last year when you took that
extra week off, you said your
father died of bleeding ulcers.
Hey, I'm suspending you.
GENE
I have more than one father.
Gene hurries down the corridor and grabs a telephone
repairman's uniform out of a side locker. Switchman wear
normal trousers and a shirt, not a uniform, never a suit.
Repairmen wear uniforms and caps.
Joan follows Gene down the corridor to the door. He puts the repairman's cap on his head, throws the uniform over his shoulder and slams the door on his way out just as Joan tries to stop him for an explanation. She yells at him as he runs down the stairs and out of the frame.
JOAN
Liar! You don't deserve to work
for the phone company.
DISSOLVE TO:
9 EXT. OUTSIDE OF LARGE APARTMENT BUILDING EARLY MORNING
PULL IN on apartment building. Gene is now wearing his
TELEPHONE COMPANY REPAIRMAN'S UNIFORM as he hurries into the building.
There's a doorman. Gene points to his parked phone company
truck. The door man waves him in. Gene is frantic to get to Littaniein time before anyone else gets to her.
10. HALLWAY OF APARTMENT BUILDING
GENE rings the bell. He gazes up at the nameplate on the door which reads: Dr. LittanieNatanya Whisper, Phd.
He listens with his ear pressed against the door. There is the sound of a vacuum cleaner. He rings twice more. It's very early morning.
The vacuum clicks off and the door opens. There is a husky, weight lifting HUGE maid in uniform, an obviously Mrs. Schwartzenegger bodybuilding type. The maid is frightening.
Her robust, bulldog like face surprises Gene as he steps back in shock.
MAID
Is the doctor expecting you?
GENE
Her phone needs repairing.
MAID
Well, no one told me anything.
GENE becomes aggressive and gets a foot in the door. He
forces his way into the apartment, shoving the maid who
doesn't budge on the first try.
She finally lets him in when he sticks his phone company arm band patch through the slightly open door. As she takes a look, Gene forces the door open, breaking the chain. He enters. The maid assumes a karate position of defense, but hesitates to look him over first.
He walks around aimlessly looking for the phone because the apartment is still messy.
The maid hasn't had time to clean it all up yet.
MAID
Hey, we didn't call any
phoneman. Get out, or I'll call
the cops.
GENE
No, wait a minute. I'm also a
private detective by day, and
Dr. Whisper is in immediate
danger.
MAID
I'll say she is, Mr. Private
Dickhead.
The MAID grabs him and tosses him about in a martial arts
somersault.
He lands in the hallway on the rug with his feet up on the wall. Nearby an elevator door opens and people walk out, staring at him.
A man walks out of the elevator (ground floor), turns to his wife, points to Gene, and comments:
MAN
The phone company must really
be scraping the bottom of the
barrel these days.
WIFE
Don't be so negative, dear.
Maybe the poor guy's just
practicing his yoga lesson
before work.
The couple walk out.
ANGLE ON
Gene as he stirs and staggars to his feet. He goes down the corridor back to Littanie's apartment and rings the bell. We hear a vacuum cleaner inside. The second time Gene rings the bell, the vacuum cleaner stops. Gene disappears from sight around a bend in the hallway as the maid answers the doorbell.
The maid looks outside, looks both ways, then looks
suspicious. She walks outside, leaving the door ajar and
walks down the hallway to look around the bend of another
corridor. As soon as he back is turned, Gene scurries into
the apartment. The maid looks about and returns to the
apartment, locking the door. Gene is inside the apartment.
He walks into a room that Littanieuses to work out, a type of
den turned into a tiny apartment sized gym filled with
exercise equipment.
Littanieis working out in leotards and leggings. Gene sneaks
behind Littaniewithout her seeing him and goes to the ledge,
carrying his telephone cable wire and equipment on his
workmen's tool belt.
The maid resumes the vacuum cleaning in another room.
11 EXT. WINDOW LEDGE Littanie'S APARTMENT GROUND FLOOR
GENE is still trying to climb inside of LittanieWHISPER'S
apartment. He's on the window ledge, trying to sneak into the living room. Gene's an electronics whiz. He follows the cable wire to her window.
Gene takes an electronic gadget out of his his shoe. He pulls cable wire out of his jacket and attaches it to her cable wire.
Gene peers into Littanie's apartment and watches her work out
alone on a type of exercise treadmill. It's still early in
the morning, and she's doing her daily exercise routine.
The maid enters with a breakfast tray of toast, cereal, and juice. She puts it down on a small table beside Littanie's
exercise equipment and treadmill. Gene is on the ledge and
sees the maid enter. He ducks away from being seen, but is
still on the ledge. The maid leaves.
Littaniegets off the treadmill or walking track and begins to
workout with small weights in each hand as she jogs in place. Her back is toward the window ledge where Gene is working. She doesn't see him yet.
ANGLE ON GENE
GENE fools with the window, trying to sneak inside. While
Littanieputs down the weights and begins to eat breakfast. Littaniesees Gene fiddling with the window from the outside.
He's standing on the window sill, the phone cable wire
dangling from his jacket and tool belt. Littanieturns her head for a moment to take a bite of toast. She doesn't see him actually jimmying the window in that instant of
GENE gets the window open, but hestitates and looks over the situation where he will have step into her breakfast tray which is on a table right under the window ledge where his foot is.
She leaves her breakfast tray right under his feet while she turns her back to the window and continues to work out.
ANGLE ON LittanieAND GENE
Suddenly she turns to drink her juice and sees him. Littanie is surprised at seeing the strange man standing there.
Gene points to his phone company uniform and arm insignia. She walks closer to him not yet seeing that he's jimmied her window open, but has closed it again to appear to be doing his job on the outside ledge.
She looks out the window and sees GENE closing the window
he's just jimmied. He's surprised as their eyes meet.
Littanie
What are you doing out there?
GENE
(embarrassed and
stammering)
I'm with the phone company.
Littaniewalks up close to him and looks him up and down in his phone company emblazoned shirt.
She takes her breakfast tray and sets it down on another
table in the room. Gene comes in, smiling at Littanieand stands by the window looking at a bugging device he's removed from the telephone cable outside her window. He shows her the "bug" in his palm.
GENE
Who bugged your apartment?
Littanie
What's that?
ON GENE, very still. He looks her up and down. For a moment, he's overcome by her beauty and it's love at first sight for him, but she doesn't know it, and he doesn't let her know. He feels she'd reject him at this point and intimidate him.
Suddenly Gene whips a stun gun out of his pocket and shoots her in the side of the neck.
She's rendered unconscious and falls into his arms. He buoys her up. Gene half carries her into the living room nodding and smiling to the maid, who glares at him with the most hostile stare as the maid weilds her dusting broom like a baseball bat, looking very threatening to Gene as he slips by her with Littanieon his shoulder.
MAID
Oh, what happened to Dr.
Whisper?
GENE
She's showing me how hypnosis
works during meditation.
Gene puts her head against his neck and smiles as he passes by the maid who follows him only to the door, but not beyond.
Gene leads Littanieout the door. She's semi conscious now and
unable to resist going with him. As he cuddles her, Littanie
goes in and out of consciousness.
Gene leads her down the hall to the door of the building.
They meet the same couple who saw him being thrown out by the maid previously when they came out of the elevator. The couple give him dirty looks as they pass one another.
Littanie's head is on his shoulder, and he is embracing, and
cuddling her in order to keep her on her feet.
Gene smiles and nods to the passing people.
GENE
Stunned by my charms.
They go out into the street as people file past them. Gene
drags her along the sidewalk to his phone company truck as
she stirs and wakes up from the stun gun shock.
Littanie
Who the hell are you?
Littaniepushes him away, and Gene goes sprawling on the
pavement.
Littanieruns and stumbles from the after effects. He chases her through the street into an alley.
GENE
I'm not some nut trying to
kidnap you. In a few hours
you'll be dead unless I find
out why someone put a contract
out on you.
Gene takes out his stun gun and points it at her. He waves it to show it off and smiles sheepishly.
Littanie
What's that stuff you shot me
with? Will it poison me?
GENE
No. It's just a stun gun. Real
men always set their phasers on
stun.
Littanie
Are you somekind of Trekkie
nut?
GENE
I'm Gene Wright, telephone
repairman by night and private
investigator by day.
Gene whips out his private investigator I.D. from his wallet and lets Littanietake a long look at it.
Littanie
Who hired you? Don't tell me
the phone company.
Gene takes out a length of telephone cable wire and holds it out to Littanie. He walks toward her.
Littaniemoves backwards in fear. She panics, thinking he's
stalking her with his outstretched hands as he shakes the
cable wire in her face. She puts her hand to her throat and stares at the wire.
GENE
See? Your whole apartment is
bugged.
Littanieruns away from him, and scurries down the crowded
street, screaming for help. She waves her arms, panics, grabs people passing on the street.
Gene chases after her, bumping into people, knocking over a merchant's outdoor fruit stand. The vegetables and melons go rolling down the sidewalk. Littanieplunges into traffic, waving cars to stop. Nobody stops for her, nobody gets involved.
Littanie
(screaming)
Somebody help me. I won't die
under my apartment window like
the Genovese girl.
GENE
I'm involved with you.
Littanie
Get the fuck out of here.
Littaniegives Gene a shove and he loses his balance. He falls
into traffic. A car breaks and stops just before hitting him.
He gets to his feet, staggars a bit, then whips out some
electric phone wire and tries to lasso her, but misses.
ANGLE ON Littanie
Littanieruns down the street, turning her head once to get a look at Gene, waving the phone cable wire at her. He
continues stalking her.
CUT TO:
GENE as he catches up with her and comes very close to her holding the telephone cable wire just like he was going to strangle her. But he only wants to stop her from screaming by grabbing her and making her listen. He loves her, but she don't know him.
GENE
You'll be human garbage in a
few hours, lady. I just want to
protect you. Would you let me
explain, please?
Littanie
I won't give you that much
power over me.
Littaniewhips out her can of mace and maces Gene in the face as he almost catches up to her.
He's about to reach and and stop her when she spins around
and maces him. He sputters and begins screaming.
GENE
I'm blind, I'm blind.
Gene runs in total confusion, wiping his eyes with his
handkerchief as he bumps into a:
COP ON HIS BEAT
COP
Why are you chasing that woman?
The cop looks at him dripping in mace.
Gene wrenches himself away from the cop and runs in the
opposite direction. The cop chases him on foot. Littanieruns in the opposite direction. Gene ducks into a store and runs out the back, bumping into racks of dresses.
He wipes his maced eyes on the clothing in the store. The cop is hot on his tail. Gene runs out the back door of the shop and down an alley. He climbs a fence as the cop corners him.
COP
Freeze, or you're shit, man.
GENE
It's okay. I'm a P.I. only the
gal didn't want to look at my
I.D.
Gene reaches for his wallet. It's lost. He fumbles through
his pockets for I.D.
The cop spins him around and wrestles him to the pavement. Cop puts his knee on Gene's back.
Cop slaps handcuffs on Gene and kicks him into a spreadeagled position.
GENE
I also work nights for the
phone company. Help me. The
lady's going to be murdered and
I've got find out who...
COP
Maybe I don't want to get
involved. Sure. We're going
downtown, pervert.
Cop gives Gene a kick in the ribs. He drags him to his feet and along the pavement, shoving him into a waiting police car with two other officers, lights flashing.
GENE
You guys just happened to be
strolling by?
COP
Shut up!
Cop pushes Gene's head down and shoves him into car.
CUT TO:
JAIL HOLDING TANK
The COP walks over to the jail cell where Gene is being held with a bunch of stinking, scruffy DRUNKS. Accompanying the cop is Gene's supervisor, JOAN COOKE. Joan walks in back of the cop, so Gene doesn't see her. He only sees the cop.
GENE
I'm a private eye hired by the
phone company to protect Dr.
LittanieWhisper.
JOAN comes out from behind the cop's back and takes Gene by surprise.
JOAN
The phone company doesn't hire
private eyes.
GENE
Oh, no!
JOAN
You were monitoring calls
looking for P.I. clients like
some cheap ambulance chasing
attorney.
Gene takes Joan's hand and kisses it politely.
GENE
I can't tell you why I had to
see Littanie. If you
found out what I heard, you'd
fire me for listening on
company time.
COP
He was chasing her down the
street, holding some telephone
cable wire in his hands.
JOAN
Were you stalking her? I read
all the time about nuts who
murder their favorite celebrity
so they'll be united in heaven.
GENE
What do you think?
JOAN
How many times have I told you
not to listen to the radio at
work!
GENE
Somebody's going to kill Littanie
and I have to stop...
JOAN
How do you know all this?
GENE
I can't tell you.
COP
Okay, your supervisor bailed
you out. You're free until
trial. Dr. Whisper's pressing
charges against you for
kidnapping her and shooting her
with that stun gun of yours.
Cop opens the jail cell, and Gene departs with his
supervisor, Joan Cooke.
GENE
Thanks. I don't have any living
relatives.
JOAN
No wonder, since every year you
tell me your father dies.
GENE
I'm sorry. I was just doing my
job.
JOAN
Consider your wages docked for
a year. If you weren't such an
electronic whiz at repairing
that switching machine, I'd
fire you, pronto, Mr. Private
Eye.
Joan makes a hand sign of a gun in Gene's head.
GENE
I'll break phone company rules
only in a life or death
emergency.
JOAN
Do you know how many guys would
sell their grandmothers for
your thirty five thousand a
year on a high school diploma?
If I find out you were
eavesdropping on private phone
conversations for more than
three seconds, you're out.
CUT TO:
12 EXT. BOB STANTON'S APARTMENT DAY 12
Gene knocks frantically on his work buddy's apartment door.
A dog rushes out of the kitchen when BOB swings open the
door. It's a small Yorkshire terrier with a squeaky bark.
13 INT. BOB STANTON'S APARTMENT DAY
Gene enters the apartment with the dog tugging at his pants cuffs.
BOB
What's up, buddy? I'm usually
napping this time of day.
GENE
I've got a problem. But if I
tell anybody at the company,
I'll get fired.
BOB
I'll picket with you during a
strike, but that's it. I'm a
fair weather friend only.
Gene sits down on Bob's sofa with his head in his hands.
Bob's dog nips at Gene's shoes and pees on the carpet.
GENE throws a towel over the dog, opens the door, and shoves the dog out.
BOB'S WIFE enters the room in a bathrobe and curlers. She's holding a frying pan full of frying food.
BOB'S WIFE
Want to share the catch of the
day?
GENE
As long as it's not a disease.
Bob grabs the frying pan out of his wife's hands and shakes it back and forth under Gene's nose.
The frying shrimp looks good. Gene takes a deep breath.
GENE
No, I have to go, really.
BOB
Garlic shrimp, my old lady's
way.
Gene shakes his head, "no," and gets up. He turns to open the door but stands in the hall.
The small dog looks up at Gene and whines to be let in.
Suddenly he blurts out:
GENE
Bob, I overheard a guy on the
phone put out a contract to
have Dr. Whisper murdered.
BOB
I think you're obsessed with
that radio shrink. Rich bitches
like her wouldn't give us
switchmen the time of day. Take
it from a retired Marine. I
know what women look up to.
GENE
I'm a licensed private
investigator.
BOB
Come on. Has anyone ever paid
you to take his case?
GENE
I'm just getting off the
ground. So Whisper's my first.
Only she doesn't know it yet.
Bob shrugs.
His wife puts the frying pan down and hands him a bag of her baked snacks to take with him.
Gene takes a whiff of the cookies in the bag.
BOB
Taste that pastry, Gene. Now no
woman who ever worked outside
her home for blood money ever
put such guts into an eclair.
Gene winces and dips his hand into the bag and takes out a pastry. He bites into it and savors the taste.
Bob's wife hands him the whole bag and he salutes the wife as he hurries out the door, turning once to tell Bob's wife:
GENE
Dump him, Mrs. Stanton. He's a
loser.
Bob's wife shrugs and grimaces at Bob. Bob walks briskly down the street as the small dog follows him, chasing him, finally biting him on the leg. Gene shakes the dog loose and jumps into his car, emptying the paper bag of pastry out the car window. The dog smells the cakes and begins to eat it as Gene's car pulls away.
FADE OUT.
14 INT. K.W.I.N. RADIO STATION NIGHT
Jim, the station manager, stands in his private office,
gazing into his mirror.
He adjusts his gun shoulder holster and dons his suit jacket.
As he stands in the full length mirror buttoning his jacket his wife,
Dr. ANNE JOAN LEVINE, bursts into his office.
Jim whirls around in surpise and anger as his wife parades
into his office and bolts the door behind her.
JIM
Didn't I tell you never to
burst in on me that way?
Dr. Levine tosses a letter on his desk.
DR. ANNE JOAN LEVINE
I just received a letter from
Littanie's lawyer saying you're
harrassing her to have an
affair.
JIM
Shut up. She doesn't know I
work days for the F.B.I. And
she doesn't know there's a
contract out on her life. Can't
you cooperate for once on a
diplomatic immunity case?
Jim's wife turns in disgust and unbolts the door to leave. As she walks out, she clashes with Gene shoving his way in.
Gene rushes through the door into Jim's office. The security guard follows him in and begins to drag him out. Jim draws his gun and points it at Gene's head.
GENE
Nice greeting from your local
radio station. All I want is to
buy some radio advertising
time. Fair enough?
JIM
Leave him here.
Jim waves the security guard away and he departs. Gene
brushes himself off and sits down opposite Jim's desk.
ANGLE ON GENE
GENE
Where'd you learn to handle a
gun like that in shock radio?
JIM
Running a radio station in
California is hazardous to your
health.
Gene gets up and walks around the station manager's office.
He handles a photo on the wall. It's a black and white
picture of Jim wearing his gun holster in a group of other
men wearing the same. It looks like a police or military
training photo.
Gene turns the picture over looking at the back. He seeks a rubber stamp seal marked "F.B.I." Dept. of Human Resources, Washington D.C. printed on the back of the paper photo frame lining.
GENE
What's going on here? I'm
monitoring static at the phone
company when all of a sudden
some goon comes on the line
saying he's paid two million to
have Dr. LittanieWhipser killed
by...boom, more static.
JIM
If you want to purchase
advertising on the air, I
suggest you see Mr. John Creen,
our salesman. His office is
next door.
Jim opens the door and leads Gene out.
GENE
I could sue you for pulling a
gun on me.
JIM
Anybody who comes bursting into
my office like a maniac
deserves to be cut down like
one.
Jim shoves Gene out the door and bolts it shut.
CUT TO:
RADIO STATION RECORDING ROOM DAY Littaniesits in her tiny
office just off the recording booth.
Gene is seated opposite her.
GENE
Why would someone offer a
foreign guy two million to
murder you?
Littanie
If someone wants my job at the
radio station that bad, why
didn't he just call my manager?
GENE
Why did you hire me all of a
sudden as your private eye?
Littanie
Oh, not me. My station manager
did, probably because you work
cheap. Some mouth breathing
jerk is always stalking me,
fantasizing he's in love with
Doctor Littanie.
GENE
Well, if you don't belong to
one man, I guess you belong to
them all.
Gene turns and starts to walk out of her recording studio.
Littanie
Jim will pay you the current
rate for brand new Private Eyes
with whiz kid electronics
skills.
Jim turns around and suddenly pulls his gun on her.
GENE
Bang! You're dead. It could
happen just like that. So you
need more than phone company
electronics.
Littanieis left vulnerable and paralyzed with fear, standing
there in shock as Gene places his card on her desk.
TIGHT ON GENE
as he walks, an island of slow, precise movement amid her
confusion. He pulls the clip out of his gun and tosses it to her. Littaniecatches it.
Littanie
Hey, I'm not as vulnerable as
you think. The only protection
I need is a trust fund.
FADE OUT.
15 INT. RADIO STATION W.I.N. MIDNIGHT
MANAGER
You're not going on until the
bomb squad opens that crate.
Littaniehurries past her boss's angry face without looking at him. She enters her booth and switches on her microphone.
The phone lines are lit up and flashing on hold. It's
going to be a busy night for the popshrink. Littanietakes a sip of coffee.
Littanie'S given the proper COUNT DOWN and HAND SIGNAL from the opposite studio booth that she's on the air. She appears ruffled and anxious.
Littanie
You're listening to K.W.I.N.
with Doctor LittanieWhisper, your
midnight psychologist.
MUSIC wells up. The radio station's theme song for the Dr. Whisper show. End music.
The STATION MANAGER waves to Littanie from outside the
glass recording booth. He holds up a sign that reads: BIG
PACKAGE CAME FOR YOU. He waves the package in front of the window. It's about six feet high and three feet wide.
Littanieshrugs her shoulders and signals him with a raised
finger to wait until the next station break.
He shakes his head with confusion. It looks like a
gift wrapped refrigerator. He makes angry motions.
Littanie
Glad you could hold on through
the traffic break, Inez. You're
boring and uneducated. If I were living with you, I'd push you around
too, you coward.
INEZ
But I love him, you idiot. You're totally incompetent
as a psychologist. In fact,
I think you're a psychopath
without a conscience or any feelings
for my pain. Can't you feel
what I'm feeling? Don't you
have any empathy?
Littanie
Self concept is destiny. Face
it. Your real daddy wanted a
boy. He was afraid of the
feminine part of himself. And
now you have to deal with that
dirty old man inside you who
wants to have a cock fight with
any guy who comes along. Stop
trying to manipulate people by
making them feel sorry for the
dependent/avoidant victim in you.
The STATION MANAGER and the clerical employee outside her booth stare at Littanie, who stares back, coldly. They are stunned. They gaze in terror at the six foot oblong crate standing near their desks. The STATION MANAGER puts his ear against the box to listen for ticking. It's quiet.
During the station break, Littanieruns through the hallway of the radio station office.
She tears off the wrapping on the six foot oblong crate as the STATION MANAGER and secretary help her. They open the crate and inside is a mahogany coffin.
STATION MANAGER
Look out! There may be a
plastic explosive device
inside.
Littanie
So I'm a better superman than
you.
Littanierips open the coffin, prying it with a tire iron that the STATION MANAGER hands her from under his desk. Inside is a note tied to a dead rat and a copy of her latest book. The note reads: "You belong in the sewer, also." Littaniebreathes a
sigh of relief and slams the lid shut.
DISSOLVE
16 INT. PHONE COMPANY MIDNIGHT
GENE is busy with monitoring his lines for voice quality. His co worker is asleep again at his workstation, his headphone pulled down over his face. GENE doesn't hear
anything unusual and there's no static or garble to
fix. He listens to clear voice quality on three different
phone conversations which he switches after two seconds each.
He looks bored. GENE takes out his novel paperback and
begins to read it. Suddenly static wells up again. Gene
tries to fix it.
A voice coming from the Russian consulate breaks through. The phone number flashes on the monitor screen with the location:
RUSSIAN CONSULATE LOS ANGELES: 555 9326
RUSSIAN CONSULATE VOICE
I'm sending Norov and Mosky in
the lead car now. Go to the
Russian Consulate office, Dr.
Tamirova. Immediately!
TANYA
Why are you speaking in
English? I told you never to
speak in English over the
phone.
RUSSIAN CONSULATE VOICE
Did you expect someone from
Guatemala to actually speak
with you in Russian?
TANYA
If we are to succeed in our
mission....
Static takes over the conversation, blotting it out.
RUSSIAN CONSULATE VOICE
Littanie must never
know what hit her....
More static. Conversation is gone. Gene writes down the
number of the Russian Consulate. He brings up the address on his computer monitor screen at his workstation.
Gene again makes all the phone lines inside the Russian consulate go right into the switching office at the phone company by turning some switches on his monitor screen to lock in the number and continue tracing and recording it.
Gene takes out another small tape recorder from his desk
drawer and hooks up the phone lines in the Russian consulate to his recorder so that all calls will now be bugged in the Russian Consulate. He locks his drawer with the tape recorder going and puts the key in his pocket.
Gene drops everything at the phone company and bolts out of the place. He bumps into his supervisor again on his way out the door.
JOAN
Did you forget to take your
break?
GENE
The Russian Mafia is using the Russian consulate as a front.
Since the fall of the former
Soviet Union, the Rusky Mafia
is all over L.A's organized crime.
JOAN
Who the hell fed you that
line of B.S.?
GENE I read it in this tabloid.
He grabs a copy of a gossip tabloid and shoves
it in her hands as he bolts past her.
JOAN
I'm about to do your job evaluation.
Do you know how hard it's going
to be for you to find another
job in this economy? There's
nothing your skills will transfer to.
GENE
Out of my way!
Gene rushes past Joan on his way out of the main door.
CUT TO:
17 EXT. LOS ANGELES SKYLINE NIGHT DOWN RAPIDLY
past several buildings to the RUSSIAN CONSULATE.
THE DARK STREETS OF L.A. AND CLOSE TO THE CONSULATE BUILDING
A black Rolls Royce inches through the streets and edges
toward the consulate building at 3:00 a.m. A back up car, another black Rolls appears two blocks behind the lead car.
Spotlights dazzle the upper crust alleys around the
consulate office the boutiques, the posh restaurant
storefronts, the mansions.
18 INT. BACK UP ROLLS ROYCE
Two strange looking, foreign sounding men, wealthy,
diplomat industrialists monitor an impressive array of
electronics.
Readouts pump information about the Consulate Building
architecture just coming up ahead. The car has diplomatic
license plates that read CAL.BUX and diplomatic immunity
bumper stickers that cheapen their Rolls.
These guys are professional hit men and dress the part.
One is moulding plastique to adjust a bomb. He hides the
plastique bomb in a cassette tape recorder and clicks it
shut, putting it in an attache case.
Up ahead, the lead car's brake lights blink in a pattern on signal.
19 EXT. CALIFORNIA BASED RUSSIAN CONSULATE BUILDING
A SHADOW
moves along the building. It's the shadow of a tall man. The two men in the Rolls work together and begin to speak in a technical code.
TECH TALK (Voicelink)
Gotta weasle dumped from
target. Re enlist second time.
Brutus was Brutish with his
Cretan Cutie. Let go. We got
you on the subtle electric
fire. Grid's skidding. Over.
The lead car takes off, turning left pulling into the
Russian consulate building diplomate's parking lot.
20 INT. ROLLS ROYCE DEEBYAN
watches the point car swirl into the consulate building
parking lot on his grid map. The lead car appears as a
glowing violet hexagon on a moving grid. DARSINOV drives.
DARSINOV
What's that?
DEEBYAN
Let's find out.
DEEBYAN stares at DARSINOV.
CUT TO:
21 INT. PHONE COMPANY SAME TIME NIGHT 3:00 A.M.
JOAN COOKE, THE PHONE COMPANY SUPERVISOR STRUTS INTO THE SWITCHMEN'S WORKSTATION. SHE'S ENRAGED AT GENE'S ABSENCE FROM HIS WORKSTATION. HIS CO WORKER IS FRANTICALLY FIXING THE EQUIPMENT. STATIC IS BREAKING OUT ALL OVER THE PHONE LINES.
JOAN
Bob, where the hell is Gene?
BOB
He's napping in the break room.
JOAN
Well drag his butt in here or
call one of the others on the
day list to come in. I'm going
to give him a suspension.
BOB
He'll be back when his break is
up.
JOAN
But you don't have anything
under control.
BOB
Whatsa' matter, can't you get
it up?
JOAN
You're the switchman around
here.
BOB
None of you lady bosses ever
had a rat's ass course in
electronics repair, Ms. former
clerk typist.
JOAN
You're gettin' a poor
evaluation, sucka! And so's
Mr. Sleeping Beauty. Can't you
guys sleep during the day? No.
All of you have day jobs.
BOB
That's just fine. So it's okay
to sleep sitting at the
workstation all night, but not
in the break room on a legal
fifteen minute break.
BOB tosses a screw driver against the equipment.
JOAN laughs loudly.
JOAN
Look, no superviser has to come
in for the midnight shift. But
look at me. It seems nobody
around here is able to fix
anything.
BOB
Sure as hell you can't either.
CUT TO:
22 EXT. CALIFORNIA BASED RUSSIAN CONSULATE BUILDING NIGHT Gene's phone company van gets to the Russian Consulate
building/office before the Russians get there.
His van looks like it was parked there all night and appears empty and silent.
ANGLE ON GENE
as he sits on the floor of his van. He has a P.I. periscope, like a pipe that he looks out of, a type of binoculars that watch the Russians as they watch his van with infra red binoculars. He can only see the outline of their car in the dark, but they can see his van.
CUT TO:
DARSINOV
watches the point car turn the corner on his grid map.
DEEBYAN
What the hell was that shadow?
DARSINOV (VOICELINK)
Maybe it's the security man.
Deebyan looks at Darsinov.
23 INT. LEAD CAR 2ND UNIT.
MOSKY and NOROV are sharing a private joke. MOSKY coughs and sputters on his stifled laughter.
NOROV
(Slavic accent)
Am I hallucinating, or is that
a phone company truck?
MOSKY
This late at night?
They look closer with binoculars and see nothing. Gene's
sitting on the floor of the van.
NOROV
Why would the phone company
leave their truck parked here
all night?
MOSKY
Maybe it broke down. Maybe it
was stolen and abandoned here.
Who knows?
NOROV
No. Someone's spying on us.
GENE closes his phone truck van slowly and silently. He's
dressed in a phone company shirt with an emblem and a
baseball cap turned backwards.
Gene takes out a bugging device.
Gene crawls along the ground near the consulate building.
He disappears as he ducks behind the corner of the building.
The men with the binoculars see nothing but the empty van.
They've lost Gene from sight and don't see him doing any
bugging.
ANGLE ON GENE
as he crawls on his belly under the lead car with a bugging device in his hands. He attaches the bugging device to the lead car's underside. It flashes a red light and acts both as a transmitter to track the car as well as a bugging device for the car's phone. Gene now crawls out from under the parked car.
Gene crawls on his belly back to his van and enters it,
sitting on the floor.
CUT TO:
The two Russians are still watching the van, peering through their infra red binoculars at the empty seat. They see nothing. A cat meows loudly in the street as it bumps into garabage cans and makes a rattling noise.
The two Russians jump and take a second look. They see only an alley cat pass by, and they sigh with relief and peer around through their binoculars at the van. He's being watched, but the van still looks like it's empty.
Gene has entered the van silent and
unseen and remains sitting on the floor, turning on his tape recorder. This bugs the car both by sound from inside the car as well as the car's phone. The bug under the car also acts as a transister to track the car's location.
ANGLE ON GENE
as he sits on the floor. Gene listens in on the lead car's
conversation. He puts on his head phone and adjusts the level of sound.
CUT TO:
24 INT. BACK SEAT LEAD CAR ANGLE ON A FOREIGN AMBASSADOR'S SON.
He's a man in his mid twenties from a third world nation,
MR. BAYANGI SULA. BAYANGI
We finally avenge my sister's
death at the cruel hands of
this American Ambassador
Wilson.
DR. TANYA TAMIROVA, HEAD OF EXO BIOLOGY RESEARCH, MOSCOW, is seated next to him. The Russian doctor smiles at Bayangi. She takes out a small case and opens it.
ANGLE on leather case. In it is a dart covered with poison.
TANYA
This extract of Brazilian
curare, zombie powder from
Haiti, and dried venom from the
Black Mamba snake from Africa
is truly an international
solution.
BAYANGI takes it from her.
BAYANGI
Nothing is too good for the man
who married my sister, took all
her money, and probably
disposed of her body so it
could never be found.
25 INT. PHONE COMPANY VAN
GENE listens to BAYANGI and TANYA on his own car phone and
tape recorder. He hears everything now back in his own phone company van. We don't hear the conversation in the other car yet.
Gene is fidgeting around with his headphone and car phone,
trying to bring up the sound level in his van. We hear static and crackling noise.
Gene reaches for a thermos bottle of coffee on the seat and unscrews the lid. He pours. There's a loud cackle of static in his ear as he is about to drink a cup of coffee.
The static and noise blasts his ear. He's startled and drops the thermos cup and it spills in his lap, burning himself.
The static on GENE'S car phone goes dead and the clear sound of voices in the Rolls Royce is
now heard perfectly. Now Gene listens carefully as he wipes the coffee off his lap.
CUT TO:
26 INT. LEAD CAR ROLLS ROYCE BACK SEAT
BAYANGI loads up his dart gun. He goes inside the Consulate Building. GENE gets out of his truck and follows BAYANGI to see what he's up to. There's no one around, except the security guards. He follows close behind BAYANGI. A SECURITY GUARD walks out. BAYANGI slides out and alerts the SECURITY GUARD.
GENE hurries back to his car.
TANYA
(to her driver)
Her DRIVER nods. ANGLE ON DRIVER smiling sardonically in the auto mirror, his eyes fixed on TANYA.
TANYA
That American ambassador is an
animal. How many foreign
diplomats go around marrying
American women for their money
and then murdering them?
DRIVER
(with accent)
The studies have shown,
comrade, that it's the cooks
and chauffeurs with diplomatic
immunity and the foreign
students who marry the American
girls and murder them for their
California Riviera real estate.
Then they pillage the property.
TANYA
Pillage? No one pillages
anymore. What are we, pogrom
Cossacks?
CUT TO:
GENE is suspicious of what he sees. A police officer ahead of him exits his police car to talk to a security guard near the Russian Consulate office.
Gene leaps out of his phone company van, sneaks past the
empty police car with the motor running. GENE peaks in the window, sees a riot gun, and swipes it, unsnapping the riot gun from the dash.
UP AHEAD
The lead Rolls Royce burns and belches black smoke. The
armored bodies of Norov and Mosky spill into the street.
TANYA pulls her DRIVER by his arm and leaps out of the car.
GENE
(talking into his car
radio)
Private detective requesting
back up from city police and
MediVac...Diplomats down in
front of Russian Consulate
building.
GENE sputters. It was a phony police car and he notices the officer had it wired and detonated. Gene watches as the police officer runs back into his car and speeds away, not noticing that GENE has swiped his riot gun. TANYA makes a dash and runs smack into GENE, awkwardly holding the riot gun.
As she turns, he notices a scar on her throat as if
someone once slit her throat and she survived. He stares at the scar a beat. Suddenly she maces him, and he cries out in pain, rubbing his eyes.
TANYA
Get out of my way.
TANYA runs away. Gene reaches out and tears off her blouse to rub his eyes. She pulls away and runs. He chases her down an alley.
GENE
Capitalist pig.
Gene grabs Tanya again as her DRIVER sneaks up behind him and hits him over the head with his handgun. Gene falls with his face in a puddle of water.
The rain begins to stop.
TANYA lights a cigarette, takes a puff, and stubs out the
butt in her bare armpit without wincing. Gene is the one who winces as he looks up at her from the ground. Gene fades in and out of consciousness and finally passes out.
DRIVER
What happened to glasnost?
TANYA
Apparently, the foreign service
is run by organized crime.
DRIVER
What do you want done with him?
TANYA bends down and examines him. She turns his head over so his nose isn't in the rain puddle. He's out.
TANYA
Leave him. He has the braincase
of Java ape man.
DISSOLVE TO:
27 INT. PHONE COMPANY NIGHT NEXT DAY
GENE is busy monitoring phone calls. He tests the line for
voice quality, tuning in on the Russian Consulate building.
Gene's bugged the Russian consulate so that all phone lines in the office go directly into the phone company switching office where they're recorded.
MAN'S VOICE (O.S.)
You didn't finish with the
hound of the bitch box.
SECOND MALE VOICE (O.S.)
(foreign accent)
She'll be at the consulate
party, a private party for one
Guatemalan ambassador and his
Austrian whore.
The SECOND MALE VOICE breaks out in fiendish laughter.
MAN'S VOICE
Dr. Whisper don't know she's
inherited two million yet. See
to it she never finds out.
ANGLE ON GENE who's busy tracing the phone call to a
particular office in the Russian consulate.
He writes down the information and also records it on tape.
CUT TO:
28 INT. GENE'S APARTMENT THE NEXT DAY MORNING
GENE is in bed sleeping. He stirs and looks at the clock.
It's 11:00 a.m. He gets up and goes to shower.
As GENE moves, the shower curtain aside to step into his tub and turn on the shower, he sees the Russian doctor, TANYA dead in his bathtub.
There are two empty champagne
glasses turned over and stuck or placed onto her breasts. An unopened, corked bottle of champagne floats on the water
which covers her body. The bubble bath is still working.
29 INT. GEN'S APARTMENT LATER THAT MORNING
Police are crowding GENE'S apartment He's dressed and
standing next to police DETECTIVE PETER WHITE.
WHITE
She was strangled here sometime
during the night. The coroner
says between two and four a.m.
GENE
I work the midnight shift.
WHITE
We'll check it out.
GENE leans over and looks at the body. ANGLE on her throat. The scar that he noticed when he first met TANYA at night by the U.N. isn't there. A CLOSEUP on her face reveals it's not Tanya. It's a Tanya lookalike.
GENE
Can the F.B.I. be called in?
WHITE
Somebody strangled her with
telephone wire. Sound familiar?
GENE and WHITE stare at each other. GENE is surprised.
GENE
Don't look at me.
WHITE
As far as I'm concerned, you're
our only suspect.
As the body is being removed by the coroner's men, GENE bends over the tub and notices a small change purse is lodged behind his toilet bowl.
He puts his foot over it and kicks it out of sight behind
the toilet part that joins the floor.
GENE
Who was she? I mean, how did
she get into my tub? All I know
is I came back here as usual,
by nine, and hit the sack.
WHITE
Didn't you use the bathroom
this morning?
GENE
The shower curtain was closed.
Maybe I slept two hours. Then I
went to take a shower, and she
was staring at me like a
stuffed goose.
WHITE walks around, snooping into his bureau drawers.
The apartment is a tiny studio bachelor's pad. The CORONER comes into the small bathroom, squeezing by GENE. He nods and takes a sample of bathwater in a bottle, puts it in his pocket.
The CORONER pulls the plug and the water gurgles down the
drain. ANGLE ON the swirling water. At the bottom of the
bubble bath foam is a yard length of telephone cable wire
with a jack on the end.
CORONER
Looks like we've found the
murder weapon.
CORONER puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to WHITE to
study.
GENE
That sure is telephone wire.
Only it's the special wire we
install only in the foreign
consulate buildings.
WHITE
Yeah, yeah, you work midnight
shift at the phone company.
Just don't plan on taking any
trips. We'll get back to you.
WHITE walks out forcefully, bumping into GENE by accident.
The accidental shove causes the small change purse GENE just found to fall out of GENE'S pocket into the toilet bowl.
GENE loses his balance and falls against the toilet bowl
flush lever, and drops the purse in the bowl.
ANGLE ON CHANGE PURSE SWIRLING AROUND IN TOILET
as the purse is flushed down the toilet. GENE reaches down to retrieve the purse from the swirling toilet water, but he's too late and the purse goes down the drain.
ANGLE ON GENE
as he frowns with the most awful look of disappointment in
losing the evidence he'd just found and hidden from WHITE.
DISSOLVE TO:
30 EXT. RUSSIAN CONSULATE BUILDING LATER THAT DAY
GENE pulls up as close to the building as he can park. He
walks through the lobby and signs on to take a tour of the
Russian Consulate for their October Revolution Glasnost Open House Tour.
A beautiful tour guide comes over and looks the spitting
image of TANYA. GENE does a double take. He don't know
whether the tour guide is the real TANYA or whether the
woman in his apartment was the body of the tour guide. They could be twins.
GENE circles around her. He notices the same scar on her
throat that Tanya had when he met her last night.
ANOTHER ANGLE
On her scar. Now he knows she's one and the same as TANYA, and that the woman in the tub was the real tour guide who was TANYA'S lookalike.
GENE continues to follow in back of the tour guide.
GENE
Haven't we met before, twice?
Once in my bathtub. Or are you
a triplet?
She backs up, confused, ignoring his words.
TOUR GUIDE
(foreign accent)
I'm Miss Laszlo. The consulate
office visitor's tour will be
leaving in five minutes. If you
haven't already signed on,
please do so now.
The tour proceeds quickly from one empty assembly room to another.
MONTAGE of rooms available to tourists on usual tour guide.
GENE watches the telephone cable, where it's leading to.
There's a small room off the main tour route.
GENE seizes an opportunity to duck out into a small room, where he follows the wire. No one notices he's left the tour.
TOUR GUIDE
The consulate meetings are not
in session. So if you'll
follow me...
CUT TO:
31 INT. ESCALATOR CONSULATE BUILDING DAY
GENE enters unnoticed. He's wearing his phone company cap and coveralls and carries a phone repair box.
ANGLE ON PHONE CABLE
that GENE follows with his eyes. The phone cable GENE'S
following leads to a small office room off of one of the
dining rooms upstairs where many of the consulate parties are held.
GENE slips by security carrying his phone company tool box.
He enters a small office. Searching around, he slips a
bugging device on the desk telephone.
GENE splices some cable and puts another electronic
listening device near the telephone jack in the wall.
He empties the wastebasket onto the floor and flashes his
penlight on a scrap of paper.
ANGLE ON PAPER.
This memo pad notebook paper scrap has a phone number
scratched into the paper. GENE rubs a pencil over the
indentation marks on the pad.
The rubbing reveals a phone number that comes into view. He copies it again and puts the number in his pocket.
He tests the line and dials the number. The voice on the
other line is the same man who paid to have Littaniemurdered.
GENE recognizes the man's peculiar voice and accent. It's
unmistakable.
MAN'S VOICE
Hello. Who is this?
GENE
The phone company is testing
your lines, sir.
MAN'S VOICE
There's nothing wrong with my
phone.
GENE
I'm sorry, but this is the
customer representative. We've
never received any payments for
your last six bills. May I have
your name for billing
verification?
MAN'S VOICE
It's not listed in my name. I'm
a house guest.
GENE
May I have the name and address
where you're a guest?
MAN'S VOICE
You have the records in front
of you.
There is a click as he hangs up.
CUT TO:
32 EXT. CALIFORNIA BEACH SUMMER DAY
Littanie
runs down a long pier in her swimsuit. She's on her vacation. She has a date to go cruising on the fancy boat or yacht of her wealthy boyfriend, CRAIG EVANS, the pathologist who works in this California city. She sees Craig's boat in the distance tied at the end of a long pier and runs toward it as
he sees her coming and waves to her.
She calls an unintelligible sound to CRAIG, her boyfriend, in the distance. He's toying with a sports fishing pole, playing at casting the line in a leisurely way. He reels in his line and watches her coming towards him, puts aside his fishing gear and picks up a bottle of champagne from a nearby stand or table.
CRAIG wiggles a champagne bottle to her from the boat, but
does not run to greet her. They finally greet each other
with open arms.
CRAIG
How's life treating you?
Littanie
I'm still surpassing my wildest
dreams.
CRAIG
Then I'll just have to wake you
up.
Craig takes her in his arms and kisses her.
CUT TO:
33 EXT. UNDERWATER SAME
Two divers dressed in scuba equipment circle underneath the bottom of Craig's sailboat. One of the divers is TANYA
TAMIROVA. The other is her DRIVER. They carry rifles. Tanya motions to her Driver where to put the rifle. The two swim silently underwater (under the pier) carrying equipment.
Tanya helps her Driver plant the rifle securely under the
bottom of Craig's boat right under the deck in the center of the yacht or fancy boat. Tanya carries an electronic
detonating device that will allow the rifle to fire through the flimsy boards of the sailboat floor from a distance, by remote control. It operates like the remote control device on a model airplane.
CUT TO:
34 EXT. BEACH SAME
CRAIG
Ready for the best cruise of
your life?
Littanie
Yeah. If the two ships didn't
already pass in the night.
CRAIG
You're still the same stubborn
clown I took pity on in
college.
She kisses him. He puts his arms around her and helps her into the boat. Littanie boards the boat he's standing on, and he prepares to take off. They sail away, drifting in the blue, calm waters, so peaceful. Dreamy, slow music fills the air from a tape recorder.
CUT TO:
THE OCEAN
ANGLE on in the distance Tanya's tiny waiting motorboat near the horizon.
TANYA AND DRIVER
climbing aboard their own motor boat.
Tanya smiles fiendishly as she takes out her remote control electronic device.
DRIVER looks with binoculars as Craig and Littaniewalk to the
center of the sailboat. As soon as Craig is standing
directly over the center spot she's marked on his boat she
will fire.
ANGLE ON CRAIG
as he walks closer to the unnoticed marked target spot in the middle of the boat. Littaniestands on the spot first then moves away as Craig embraces and kisses Littanie. Now he's standing on the target spot, a type of bull's eye. He doesn't look at the spot.
CRAIG
pulls a length of cable phone wire and wraps it around Littanie's neck. He begins to strangle her while he's embracing her.
Littaniewrestles with him. She puts up one of the most exquisite fights for her life as his grip tightens on the wire around her neck.
She grabs his fishing pole and smacks him across
the face with it, but he wrestles it out of her hand, and the pole goes overboard. At the last breath of her life comes and Littanie's struggling against Craig to the last second, he kisses her again, bringing her life to an end...almost.
Suddenly as she gives up the struggle against strangulation
CUT TO:
TANYA looks through her binoculars and sees Craig on the marked spot kissing Littanie. She gives her Driver the hand signal and he detonates the electronic device remote control. This sets off the rifle, an automatic firing weapon that sends a round
of bullets from underneath the boat into Craig's body.
Littanie
screams as the bullets rip through Craig's body, missing her.
She gets splattered with his blood as he falls overboard.
Littaniestirs, sputters, and coughs. She takes a few labored
breaths being seconds from her own death by strangulation,
and takes a flying leap over the edge of the drifting
sailboat which remains afloat.
CUT TO:
TANYA
laughs as her Driver puts his arms around her shoulders.
TANYA
Craig shouldn't have betrayed
me with that woman. She doesn't
love him like I did.
DRIVER
I don't see any Craig.
ANGLE ON TANYA
as she laughs.
TANYA
Find me another man. I'm
nothing without a man to beat
down to size.
DRIVER
Yes, doctor Tamirova.
CUT TO:
Littanie as she circles the boat in the water and swims toward the cove, an underground sea cave grotto. The sailboat drifts away as Littaniereaches the cove and bumps into CRAIG'S floating body. She screams, reaches down to drag him out of
the water, but sees he's dead. Littaniedrags his corpse up to
the beach and leaves it. She stumbles away, sobbing, but
takes charge of her survival. She's got guts and gets it all together.
CLOSE ON Littanieas she sneaks out of the water
and peaks from behind a rock near the sea cave.
Littaniecrawls through a hole in the rock. There's a small
grotto. She pushes herself down a crawl space hole in the rock and slithers out on the inside of a sandstone sea cave riddled with flying bats and seagulls.
Littaniestumbles through the cave as the noise of the
helicopters circle the entrance and exits. PULL BACK as she runs the gauntlet length of the cave. She slips and falls, but gets up again and comes face to face with the carcass of a nest of dead rats. Live rats run through the cave as she steps over their slithering bodies. She runs the mile to the cave opening on the other side of the sandstone cliff.
Littaniecomes out at the other end of the cave. Tanya's team is nowhere in sight. She walks up a small children's beach where all is calm, quiet, blue sky, serene water, children playing.
Littanie calmly walks over to an ice cream and snack
concession stand. She's huffing and out of breath from
running and exhaustion.
Littanie
Where's the nearest phone?
CONCESSION OWNER
Over there.
He points to the street. There's a steep two flights of stone steps above the beach leading to the street. Littanie sighs with exhaustion, then proceeds to run wildly up the steps toward the street. She's a ravaged, wet mess from the sea in her shredded, white bathing suit and covered by the blood from
CRAIG'S corpse on her face, bathing suit, and hair.
Littaniereaches the street of quiet flower covered cottages.
She enters a cafe crowded on the weekend afternoon with
tourists. All eyes stare at her shredded, bloody suit which is taken nonchalantly as a fashion statement by the beach and punk/biker crowd.
DISSOLVE TO:
35 INT. APT NEAR THE RUSSIAN CONSULATE DAY
GENE walks among the guests at the Guatemalan Ambassador's
party. Gene's in disguise with a blond wig. GENE stares at BAYANGI SULA, the Guatemalan ambassador's son, a full blooded Mayan Indian. He's also in the foreign service, an assistant to his father, the ambassador, with full diplomatic immunity. As GENE watches BAYANGI, he notices him receiving a note with a room and phone number. The room has the same number on it that he overheard.
GENE takes the slip of paper out of his pocket with the phone number he's traced and compares it to the phone. It's different. The number was changed. But seeing a sticker pasted over the dial, GENE removes the label. Underneath is the older phone number which is the same as he reads on his scrap of paper.
ANGLE on GENE removing label from phone revealing the older phone number.
Gene signals the ambassador's son. Bayangi leaves his
guests and comes over to Gene.
BAYANGI
Have we met?
GENE
Not yet. But, hey, the person
who ordered Dr. Whisper's
murder called his hit man using
this exact phone, which also
rings at the same time in the
Russian consulate office. Are
you working with the Russian
Mafia in L.A.?
BAYANGI
Why am I supposed to hear this?
GENE
Private Investigator.
Gene whips out his correspondence school private eye I.D. and Bayangi laughs loudly.
BAYANGI
Entertainers are supposed to
use the service entrance.
Just as GENE removes the label on the phone, it rings.
GENE is startled.
BAYANGI excuses himself and enters the small office to pick up his phone. GENE ducks out and mingles with the party guests. GENE smiles at some female guests from various nations. TANYA arrives.
GENE
Excuse me.
He walks away from the party guests and makes a beeline for TANYA who's busy greeting guests by the entrance. GENE grabs a tray of hors d'oeuvres from a table and pretends he's serving. He shoves the tray in front of TANYA.
GENE
Haven't we met twice before?
TANYA smiles at him.
TANYA
Perhaps. But I don't recall.
GENE
On the tour.
TANYA
Oh, yes.
GENE
And maybe in wartime.
TANYA laughs and slips away.
GENE follows her and opens up a side door. It leads to a
library. When he opens the door he's surprised.
Standing in the library, pouring through copies of Dr. Littanie's latest book, Diplomatic Crime/Diplomatic Immunity in America, is a diplomatic foursome. The Guatemalan Ambassador is showing Littanie's book to his Austrian fashion designer mistress.
GENE watches for a moment and sneaks in, perusing the books in the diplomat's apartment library.
GUATEMALAN AMBASSADOR
What's the matter, didn't you
ever read a book on diplomatic
crime before?
AUSTRIAN WOMAN
Not with a Guatemalan
Ambassador, I haven't. Did you
read The Perfect Motivator? She
really gets inside my head.
GUATEMALAN AMBASSADOR
Shock rumor is big business.
The AMERICAN AMBASSADOR is turning the pages of Littanie's book.
He's livid with rage. The Guatemalan Ambassador is busy
showing Dr. Littanie's book to his mistress.
AMERICAN AMBASSADOR
Lies. These are all lies about
me. That woman must be stopped.
All heads turn toward the American Ambassador. He throws
Littanie's book on the table and runs out of the room in a rage.
Gene sneaks into a corner and continues to peruse the
bookshelves in the library. There's a bit of a commotion as more diplomats begin to enter the library and pick up copies of Littanie's latest book, the new one, just out, titled DIPLOMATIC CRIME, DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY IN AMERICA.
ANGLE ON Littanie'S BOOK.
CUT TO:
ANOTHER ROOM
TANYA is sitting with the AMERICAN AMBASSADOR. BAYANGI, the ambassador's son, joins them.
ANGLE on BAYANGI'S RING
which contains a poison dart. He shakes hands with the AMERICAN AMBASSADOR, RON WILLARD. He scratches the
AMBASSADOR'S HAND with the poison.
BAYANGI leads the AMBASSADOR to a private room. They go
upstairs to a penthouse. It's BAYANGI'S APARTMENT.
36 INT. PENTHOUSE APARTMENT UPSTAIRS DAY
BAYANGI'S CHAUFFEUR brings in a lovely Guatemalan
teenage girl. She's dressed like a prostitute.
AMBASSADOR
I told you I don't deal in
female slavery.
BAYANGI
Get her out of here.
CHAUFFEUR leads the girl out, then returns and locks the
door.
The AMBASSADOR laughs.
AMBASSADOR
You brought her to a consulate
party, knowing the press is
coming? Where are you keeping
her?
BAYANGI
Isn't she young enough for you?
Where's your ex wife and her
money?
AMBASSADOR
I didn't mean to strangle your
sister, honest. She just
screamed when...she found out I
embezzled all the funds...after
the divorce...
BAYANGI
Where's my sister's body?
AMBASSADOR
Buried at sea.
BAYANGI
Shut up!
BAYANGI slaps the ambassador across the face. He falls back into the CHAUFFEUR'S grasp. The CHAUFFEUR holds him, then tosses him into a chair. BAYANGI laughs.
AMBASSADOR
Women are treated like donkeys
in your country.
BAYANGI
People will do anything for an
American passport and a job.
But not when it involves family
honor.
CHAUFFEUR
Tell me, ambassador Willard,
what will you do for money?
AMBASSADOR
You told me you weren't making
enough money in your government
position.
BAYANGI
I'm the ambassador's son, not
his servant.
BAYANGI takes a roll of dental floss out of his pocket. He
cleans his teeth and spits a bit of food on the AMBASSADOR'S
cheek. The AMBASSADOR twitches in disgust and fear.
BAYANGI cleans his teeth and spits another speck of food on his boot.
BAYANGI
Eat it!
BAYANGI shoves the AMBASSADOR. His CHAUFFEUR kicks him. The AMBASSADOR complies and eats the speck of food. He begins to beg.
AMBASSADOR
Your sister was head of a drug
ring that stretched from
Columbia to Guatemala with
Russian Blackmarket
connections. Her money was
dirty. Hurting me won't bring
her back. I know you're the
power behind your sister.
BAYANGI laughs.
BAYANGI
In seven minutes, you'll be a
zombie, too. Family honor.
BAYANGI gives his "native" sign for "death."
BAYANGI
Whek!
AMBASSADOR gets up to make a run for it.
CHAUFFEUR nods, watching BAYANGI'S face for the "death"
signal. CHAUFFEUR draws his native wavy knife.
AMBASSADOR is frozen in fear and doesn't move. Then he
decides to struggle with the CHAUFFEUR for his knife.
CHAUFFEUR holds AMBASSADOR down in the chair as they
struggle.
BAYANGI scratches the AMBASSADOR with his poison ring in his nostril. The AMBASSADOR cries out.
CHAUFFEUR muffles the AMBASSADOR'S noise. He puts his hand over his mouth.
CHAUFFEUR punches and kicks AMBASSADOR.
CHAUFFEUR
You've got thirty seconds left.
CHAUFFEUR laughs and checks the door.
AMBASSADOR
You don't have the man who made
me embezzle my wife's money.
He's a multimillionaire, an
American. He was even impeached
as the Vice President of a
Central American nation.
BAYANGI
That's twenty seconds more than
you gave my sister when you
strangled her.
AMBASSADOR
Is that what it's all
about greed and power?
BAYANGI
This doesn't leave a trace.
One scratch of curare inside
your nostril. Ten seconds.
AMERICAN AMBASSADOR
I'm just a patsy in the foreign
service. You've got to go
higher up in government to get
who's behind this.
BAYANGI
I don't believe you.
BAYANGI kicks the AMBASSADOR. He falls over and dies.
BAYANGI and his CHAUFFEUR leave the room and go down to
rejoin the party. BAYANGI takes off his ring and puts it in a drawer.
GENE
sees him put the ring in a box and close the drawer in a small office.
GENE takes the ring out and puts it on his own finger. He studies the ring, twists it off, and places it on a book case. Tanya follows behind, grabs the ring and puts it on her own finger. Gene walks out to rejoin the party. Tanya follows behind him, unseen. BAYANGI is in the living room talking to people, mingling as is his CHAUFFEUR. GENE approaches BAYANGI who's conversing with a crowd of people at the party.
GENE
How have you been this time?
GENE shakes hands with BAYANGI.
TANYA interrupts the two and intercedes between them.
TANYA
I'm so sorry. I have to leave.
Tanya extends her hand. Bayangi shakes it. The poison ring on
Tanya's finger scratches Bayangi. He pulls away from the
slight sting, wincing.
TANYA
Oh, excuse my long nails. They
tend to scratch, but men love
that feline look.
BAYANGI
No, they don't.
Bayangi takes Tanya's hand to his lips and kisses it
diplomatically as is proper in his country. Then he sees and recognizes the poison ring on her finger. His eyes bug out.
He suddenly knows he has just been scratched and only has a few seconds more to live.
GENE
What's the matter? You look
like you've just got the kiss
of death.
BAYANGI
Tanya.
BAYANGI sucks his palm. The poison takes effect immediately, and he falls in an overstuffed chair. Tanya walks away calmly. Gene takes a look at Bayangi, feels the pulse on the side of his neck, and knows he's dead.
GENE
Boy, that woman is bad luck.
Frightened, Gene follows Tanya. He knows she's just killed
Bayangi, but he don't know how yet. No one pays attention to him or realizes he's dead as the door bell rings the same moment he falls in the chair. The door is opened by
BAYANGI'S CHAUFFEUR. All heads turn to the door. A crowd of people burst into the party.
WOMAN
Surprise! To honor the visiting
Russian Hungarian doctor of
biomedical research, Tanya
Tamirova, we've brought a
special welcoming committee to
take you on tour of our
institute.
The crowd pushes in and fills the room to capacity. GENE
pulls out a pair of sunglasses from his pocket and sticks
them on the dead AMBASSADOR'S SON, BAYANGI, as he sits in the chair. He puts a tray of food on his lap. Tanya breaks away from the crowd and heads into the bathroom. She tries to lock the door, but the lock is broken. She closes the door, anyhow, and opens the drawer in the sink cabinet.
GENE slowly follows Tanya to the bathroom. He begins to open the door when he sees Tanya in the mirror further back, hovering around the drawers in the sink.
GENE sees Tanya wiping off the ring and returning it wrapped in paper to its box in the original drawer in the sink. She closes the drawer and turns to walk out of the bathroom. Gene has been watching her. The bathroom door is slightly ajar as Gene peeks in. He sees her walking toward the door and bolts away fast.
GENE runs upstairs to find out where BAYANGI took the
AMBASSADOR. Tanya goes upstairs, not seeing Gene yet. He
meets her on the upper level of the apartment as he looks
into all the rooms.
ANGLE ON TANYA.
GENE
You're a triplet. You have to
be.
TANYA
No, really, I'm not.
She's flustered, trying to hide his digging from in front of the pressing crowd of reporters drawing nearer to her, almost suffocating the two in the crowded living room
apartment.
GENE
Why the hell would a doctor of
exobiology work as a Russian
consulate tour guide on
Glasnost Day? It's a low paid
clerical job.
TANYA smiles. A peal of laughter goes through the press
crowd.
TANYA
Oh, just for one day. My cousin
let me take over during her
lunch hour. It was a fantasy I
couldn't resist.
GENE
Does her supervisor know she
breached security?
TANYA
Can't you lighten up?
GENE
Only if murder is a three ring
circus. Plastic surgery, that's
it.
TANYA
I'm not old enough for a face
lift.
GENE
Three women made to look like
you... one murdered, so far,
in my tub.
TANYA
I don't know whether to put you
under contract or observation.
She's hurrying to leave, searching for her purse, flustered and impatient.
GENE
How did you get that scar
across your throat? In combat?
TANYA turns, walks over to GENE and the guests. She rips off her pasted on scar like a band aid.
TANYA
This scar is just a
conversation piece in bed.
It's only a beauty mark.
TANYA dangles the plastic adhesive fake scar in front of
GENE. She smirks, defiantly.
GENE
I'll try that next time over my
appendix.
GENE hurries out of the apartment leaving everyone standing in anticipation.
DISSOLVE TO:
37 EXT. LOS ANGELES STREETS DAY
GENE runs across town and finds his parked car. He begins to start up the car when his car phone rings. It's Littanie. She's calling from the airport.
38 INT. AIRPORT, LOS ANGELES PHONE BOOTH DAY
Littanieis crying, sobbing. She's out of control.
Littanie
They've killed Craig.
GENE
Who's they?
Littanie
I don't know. They shot him.
They had their chance to get
me. Why are they waiting?
GENE
Where are you now?
Littanie
Lindbergh Field Airport.
GENE
Are you coming back here?
Littanie
I don't know where to go next.
Craig was in on it with them.
He tried to strangle me with
some kind of telephone cable.
GENE
Figures. Murders always come in
threes. Sure. War always starts
in the home between parent and kid.
Littanie
What are you mumbling about? I
said Craig, my boyfriend for
ten years just tried to kill
me, like part of some master
plan.
ANGLE ON GENE
as he begins to drive home. As the car goes down the road and then onto the freeway, he keeps her on the phone.
GENE
Just get out of there. Take any
plane anywhere....Take the next
plane out.
Littanie
Okay.
She looks down at a printed schedule in her lap.
GENE
What's the matter?
Littanie
Uh, the next flight out's to
LAX.
GENE
I'll meet you there. I'll take
a week's vacation and come down
there. Where are the cops?
Littanie
I didn't speak to anybody yet.
GENE
I'm going to be charged with
murder. That Guatemalan
ambassador's son is dead too.
Can't you think of somebody who
would give you forty million in
his will?
Littanie
No, I can't. Wait a minute.
There's this professor of Mayan
Mythology. He specializes in
Central American archaeology.
GENE
What's he to you?
Littanie
About six months ago he mailed
me an Indian relic from ancient
Guatemala. There was a scroll
inside written in Mayan chicken
scratches.
GENE
Why would he send you something
priceless like that?
Littanie
You know my hobby is Central
American archaeology, don't
you? My third stepfather's a
professor emeritus in the
field.
GENE
What has that got to do with
you?
Littanie
This professor had forty
million dollars worth of
Guatemalan gold and
semiprecious stone relics he
said proved the Mayan Indian
deities were already into the
new age movement thousands of
years ago.
GENE
You think he's the one who left
you his forty million dollar
collection?
ANGLE ON Littaniein phone booth in crowded airport. She looks around.
A MAN appears to be following her. He's a Central American
pure blooded INDIAN, dressed with a headband and long, black hair tied at the back. He wears beads over his regular dark business suit. She sees him duck into a phone booth across from her. He carries a cassette recorder and a brief case.
Littanie
I worked for him when I was in
graduate school. He talked
about Mayan famines...how
ancient people used herbs to
cure certain ailments. He was
trying to connect his Mayan
relics with new age movements.
GENE
He sounds eccentric enough to
have that kind of money.
Littanie
I thought he was nutty, but the
guy was a retired Guatemalan
industrialist.
GENE
Millions worth? And why would
he leave it to you? Maybe the
guy's not even dead.
Littanie
He lives in Westwood.
GENE pulls up to his phone company building.
GENE
Where do I meet you and what
time?
Littanie
LAX at noon.
GENE
What else do you know about the
professor?
Littanie
He knows everything about
ancient gods and mazes and The
Mayan Book of the Dead. That's
a poison manual that can also
cure snakebite.
GENE
Why would some exotic professor
tell all this to you?
Littanie
No body listened to Doctor
Gorton. Anyhow, I switched
graduate schools. After
spending a summer cleaning
shards of broken pottery,
psychology looked exciting.
The MAN comes out of the phone booth, walks across to Littanie'S phone booth. He knocks on her window. She doesn't answer.
GENE
Hey, what's going on there?
Littaniescreams as he tosses his cassette recorder at the phone booth glass door. It's a bomb, and although it malfunctions when he hurls the cassette recorder at her, there's a small cloud of gas/smoke.
The MAN is mystified at the malfunction. He expected a big explosion, not the small one that just destroyed his tape.
Littanieducks under the seat and then makes a run as the booth fills with poison gas/smoke.
As the airport guards come running at the choking crowd of
passersby, Littanieescapes in the crowd and commotion, smoke and chaos.
Littaniemakes it up the ramp, through security, and gets on the plane. But the MAN in the three piece suit follows close behind, escapes detection, and follows her on the plane to LAX.
ANGLE ON
Tanya, standing in a corner of the airport watching
everything. She wears sunglasses, wig, hat and is in disguise and unnoticed.
Tanya follows, behind the MAN. She carries an attache case.
She also boards the plane and takes a seat behind the MAN.
CUT TO:
GENE
on his car phone, parked in front of his place of work.
GENE
Hello? Hello?
GENE clicks his phone receiver, agitated at what might have happened.
39 EXT. ENTRANCE TO PHONE COMPANY BUILDING DAY
GENE shows his badge to the SECURITY GUARD and goes in to see his phone company supervisor.
40 INT. PHONE COMPANY OFFICE OF THE SUPERVISOR OF SWITCHMEN
DAY
JOAN COOKE, his supervisor, is sitting at her desk
checking paperwork and computer printouts.
JOAN
What are you doing here on the
day shift?
GENE
I need a few days off. It's a
personal emergency. I'm on a
private investigation case this
time that...
JOAN
I'm giving you a month's
suspension without pay.
GENE
Please, it's an emergency.
There's been a death.
JOAN
Yours, no doubt.
JOAN looks down and shuffles more papers on her desk.
GENE
You were a clerk typist 'till
you got promoted over me. I
studied electronics in the Air
Force. Yet you always treat me
like a child.
JOAN
Does it take your manhood away?
Take your choice: a poor work
evaluation this quarter or a
law suit for sexual harassment.
JOAN tosses some papers in his face.
GENE
Grow up.
JOAN
I'd rather be right than loved.
You're not tough enough. How
does a female supervisor get
respect from her male employees
when she's got morning sickness
during rush hour and divorce
papers on her desk?
GENE
Don't make me beg and crawl.
JOAN
Go look on the bulletin board,
yo yo. If no one else is signed
up for time off, you can take
your vacation now.
JOAN turns her back on him. She resumes her computer
printout checking and paperwork.
GENE storms out.
PAN WITH GENE
to the BREAK ROOM. He looks up on the bulletin board vacation sheet. No one's on vacation for the next week. He takes off.
GENE turns back once, pokes his head into JOAN'S OFFICE.
GENE
Thanks.
She nods to him and continues to do her paperwork.
DISSOLVE.
41 INT. PLANE DAY
Littanieis in midflight between San Diego and Los Angeles. In
the seat next to Littanie, there's a MAN carrying a briefcase.
It's the same man who escaped after gassing the phone booth Littaniewas in. The MAN sticks close by Littanie. He gets up and follows her when she goes to the restroom. She returns to her seat and he returns to his right next to her.
Littaniebecomes aware of him, but there's no place to hide.
Every seat is full.
ANGLE ON TANYA
seated behind the man. She opens her attache case and removes a tiny dart gun. The AIRLINE ATTENDANT walks down the aisle handing out small pillows to those who want them.
AIRLINE ATTENDANT
Would you like a pillow, ma'am?
TANYA
(whispering)
Yes, thank you.
Tanya takes the pillow and smiles to the attendant who passes by continuing to ask the passengers whether they'd like a pillow. As soon as the Attendant passes by, Tanya makes a face like she's about to sneeze.
She puts the small pillow up to her face to block the sneeze.
Tanya pretends to sneeze loudly into the pillow. But at the same time, Tanya fires her silent little curare dart gun through the pillow and into the back of the neck of the MAN seated in front of her. It works exactly like an animal tranquilizer dart gun. Only the dart is small and narrow and makes a hole no bigger than a mosquito bite.
ANGLE ON MAN
The MAN suddenly feels a slight sting in the back of his
neck. He slaps his neck like he was slapping a fly or
mosquito.
MAN
Damn mosquitoes!
Littanieturns to look at him as he slaps the back of his neck.
MAN'S eyes roll up so only the whites show, red veined and
dirty. His eyes close. He dies. His head falls back against the seat. There's a loud sound of gas that escapes his body with a horrible stench.
MAN falls over into Littanie's lap. She thinks he's sleeping and pushes him back in his seat.
Again his head falls on her shoulder and finally after
several falls and shoves, he keels over with his face into
her lap. More foul gas loudly escapes his body.
She turns to the TANYA sitting behind her. TANYA pretends to be sleeping with featherweight earphones on her head, the pillow half covering her face. Littaniedoesn't recognize Tanya.
Littaniesignals the attendant.
AIRLINE ATTENDANT
Would you like something to
drink?
Littanie
Hey, the man next to me is
sick.
The ATTENDANT is an attractive young woman. She is
bewildered. She looks at the man and takes his pulse.
AIRLINE ATTENDANT
He's dead.
ATTENDANT looks at Littanie. She sniffs the foul air.
Littanie
Oh, not again. Can I change my
seat?
AIRLINE ATTENDANT
I'm sorry, ma'am. All the other
seats are taken. Besides, no
one is officially dead until
the plane lands. So I'm afraid
you'll just have to sit there
and bear it.
Littanie
Put a blanket over him, for
God's sake. Don't you know when
people die, their bowels relax?
AIRLINE ATTENDANT
I'll get a a towel or
something.
Attendant leaves to retrieve some kind of cover for the body.
Passengers are asleep or reading their papers, books,
listening to a radio with earphones. No one notices the dead body that appears to be sleeping in the seat. Suddenly a toddler screams violently from a seat down the aisle. Littanieturns and watches the screaming child and the man next to the child holding his ears. Nothing quiets the screaming, crying kid.
Littanierises and gives the dead man a glance. She fans away the awful odor around his body. She ducks under her seat and retrieves her brown bag lunch.
Littaniepulls a long cheese and salami out and stuffs it on the man's lap. She picks up his briefcase with a napkin and drops it into her shopping bag. He looks like he's sleeping with a paper bag of smelly cheese and salami in his lap.
Littaniewalks down the aisle to where the child is still screeching carrying her shopping bag. She nudges the man next to the child and distraught mother trying to calm him. The man continues to hold his ears against the crying as the woman lullabies the child on her lap. He looks up at Littanieand smiles.
Littanie
Do you want to change seats? I
like to sit next to children.
SECOND MAN
Thank God.
The guy rises and gives Littanieher seat. She motions to her
empty seat up the aisle. The attendant drapes a blanket over the body and walks away, thinking Littanie's in the restroom.
Littanie
Don't disturb the man next to
you. He's sleeping soundly. You
don't mind the smell of cheese,
do you?
SECOND MAN
Anything's better than a
screaming Mimi.
The guy walks down the aisle and sits in her seat. Littanie
begins to play with the screaming child, and he stops the
noise.
Littaniecarefully opens the man's briefcase with a thickly
folded piece of brown bag paper rolled up so she doesn't get stuck on any needles.
A small, ancient Indian gold and clay relic rolls out of the open, overturned briefcase. It rolls along the floor. Just as Littaniepicks it up, the MAN across the aisle grabs it up first. He quickly hands it to her with a smile.
She takes it and puts it back in the briefcase Nothing else is in there. She places the briefcase back in her shopping bag under the seat.
42 EXT. MUSEUM OF MAN LOS ANGELES DAY
Littaniewalks up the winding staircase and goes through a dark, dusty hall to a small office. She buzzes the office door.
43 INT. OFFICE MUSEUM DAY
DR. MARZ walks heavily to the door and opens it. She's
surprised to see her old professor.
Littanie
What happened to Dr. Gorton?
DR. MARZ
Who him?
He looks up on the wall where a framed photo of DR.
GORTON is hanging on the wall.
Littanie
That's who I came to see.
DR. MARZ
(laughing fiendishly)
He's retired maybe three years.
I started here right after he
left.
Littaniecircles around the small office. She takes out a Mayan maze game from her purse and stands it on his desk.
Littanie
You thought you switched Mayan
mazes. But I have the real
one. Those Indians were
smarter than you. You forgot
to look inside the false
bottom.
DR. MARZ laughs a weird wail. He smiles showing a row of gold teeth.
DR. MARZ
Surely you don't think I'm
interested in that cheap, clay
imitation.
Littanie
Really? I used to build
replicas of ancient Mayan
relics for Professor Gorton.
Take a forty million dollar
look.
Littanie smashes the maze game on MARZ'S glass coffee set tray.
And a game box with a false bottom and a handful of large
diamonds scatter on the desk top.
DR. MARZ
Go ahead. Break my tray.
Littanie
Is this the forty million
dollars I am supposed to
inherit from Dr. Gorton? I
think he's still alive.
DR. MARZ
It's the astrological jargon
that's priceless.
Littanie
The stuff inside the maze is
another maze.
MARZ smiles a death skull grin. He's walking rigor mortis.
He grabs up the maze inside a maze and opens the
parchment carefully. It's just about falling to dust.
Littanie
Can you read this Mayan script
Or maybe it's Yucatan Aztec?
DR. MARZ looks at the scroll with a magnifying glass.
DR. MARZ
It's ancient Mayan and Aztec
astronomy. The two Indian
nations traded crop astrology
with one another. ...the
genealogy of Chinese wise
men Loo Ping, the first man
and his ancestors who came to
Guatemala.
Littanie
Gorton once told me it told of
Chinese acupuncture theory of
all the energy points.
MARZ
The invention of the violin,
called the Who...
Littanie
All brought to the Mayans in
ancient times by Chinese Junks
sailing the Pacific?
MARZ
It tells of the struggles of
the Mayans living under the
government of the Chinese in
Central America, twelve
thousand years ago.
Littanie
How do I know you're not making
this up? Maybe it's a
four thousand year old recipe
for pigeon pie?
DR. MARZ
Here, read it for yourself.
Better yet, I'll photocopy the
scroll.
MARZ puts the stone tablet scroll under his photocopy machine and makes her two copies.
Littanie
You can't fool me. I read those
old Indian languages. Not well,
mind you, but I'm as into this
as much as a lay person can
get.
DR. MARZ
What about these diamonds?
They belong to the museum.
Littanie
I just can't leave this stuff
with you. I don't know you from
a clay tablet.
He points to the nameplate on his desk. It reads, Dr. Franz Marz, Ph.d. Curator of Central American Indian Antiquities.
Littanie
Yeah, but that doesn't prove
you and the name plate match.
DR. MARZ
Good day, Miss....Miss..
Littanie
Littanie Webster.
He shoves her out the door and closes it. Then as she
stands there, he opens the door once more.
DR. MARZ
You'll be compensated with a
small reward for returning the
scroll that wasn't yours
anyway.
Littanie
Like hell it wasn't. I was
mailed that Indian tablet at
the station last month.
Littanieputs her booted foot through the glass door and smashes it. DR. MARZ pulls a gun on her.
Littanie
Never mind what you say the
scroll says. I'll tell you what
it says. Just what Gorton wrote
me that it said.
DR. MARZ
I'm going to call security.
Littanie
You know as much as I do about
the authors of the Mayan Book
of Mazes.
DR. MARZ laughs.
DR. MARZ
You're crazier than the
astrologers.
Littanie
What's the matter, can't you
picture a time before writing
was invented when people toyed
with mazes?
DR. MARZ
Takwatl, daughter of the rising
sun, it reads. Mazes
represented the hereafter.
THE SECURITY GUARD ENTERS with gun drawn.
Littaniebacks away, caught between both guns pointed at her.
Littaniesidles out past the guard. He points the gun toward the floor. MARZ is still holding the gun on her. She pushes his hand with the gun away from her direction and passes him.
Littaniekisses the GUARD on the cheek and exits quickly, leaving the maze boxes, diamonds, and stone tablet on DR. MARZ'S desk.
Littanie
Don't make noise. This is a
museum of research.
Littaniewalks out into the public museum and mixes with the
crowd as Marz stands there, staring at her exit.
DISSOLVE
44 INT. LAX NOON
ANGLE ON CLOCK
that reads 12:00 noon Littaniewalks out of the airport and waits just outside the doors as she looks down the street. She sees Gene's car and waves to him with excitement.
Littaniewaits outside the airport entrance door as Gene's car
pulls up. Littaniegets in and they drive away.
45 INT. GENE'S CAR
GENE
So! How was your flight?
Littanie
Well, the bomb in the airport
fizzled out. Lucky, huh?
Gene thinks she's just being funny to make conversation and break the thick feeling of tension in the car.
GENE
How do I top that?
Littanie
But there's nothing worse than
a dead Injun with leaking gas.
GENE
Sounds like your plane nearly
ran out of fuel in mid air.
Where to now?
Littanieshakes her head in confusion. Gene still thinks she's
joking. She's too exhausted to explain.
Littanie
A dusty corner of my old
university library.
CUT TO:
46 EXT. UNIVERSITY LIBRARY DAY
GENE and Littaniewalk up the library building steps of the
campus of the local university.
CUT TO:
47 INT. LIBRARY ARCHAEOLOGY STACKS
Littanieand Gene sit in a dusty little corner of the upper
stacks, pouring through illustrated books on Mayan and Aztec archaeology. A sign reads: ARCHAEOLOGY CENTRAL AMERICA.
Littanie
pulls one catalogue/book from the stacks that show a
collection of illustrated Mayan stone writing and maze boxes.
Littanie flips through the book and shows GENE one page in
particular.
On the page is an illustration of Aztec and Mayan crystal
skulls (skulls sculptured out of transparent quartz crystal that allows strange light patterns to shine and change color in the skulls.)
Littanie
This is it...mazes carved
inside the crystal skulls.
They're supposed to have
healing powers.
GENE
What's in those Mayan mazes?
Littaniepoints to an illustration of a crystal skull in the
book.
Littanie
Artisans sculptured those
skulls out of transparent
quartz crystal. They dug
tunnels or mazes inside the
skull.
GENE
Oh, sure. And all those people
are trying to kill you because
of some chicken scratchings in
your fan mail?
GENE slams the heavy book closed. Dust blows up. A
librarian walks by signaling to keep voices down.
LIBARIAN
Shhh! Lower your voices,
please.
Littanie
I know just the guy to see.
CUT TO:
48 EXT. PARK LOS ANGELES DAY
Doctor MILLEN comes over to them. He smiles and gives Littanie a hug. GENE shakes his hand.
DR. MILLEN
Strange we meet in the park
after all these years.
Littanie
Gene, Dr. Millen was my third
stepfather. He's been following
Dr. Gorton's work. That's the
professor I worked for summers.
GENE walks with MILLEN. Littanieleads the two out of
They enter GENE'S car.
49 INT. MOVING CAR DAY
MILLEN
Dr. Gorton's missing now for
over six months.
Littanie
The tablet was postmarked
Qwatl, Guatemala, someplace
deep in the jungle ruins, where
only the original Indian
dialect is spoken.
MILLEN
He was working with the Qwatl
Indians in rural Guatemala,
trying to prove they're the
real faith healers, you know,
psychic surgeons, mentioned in
the Mayan Book of Mazes.
"Qwatl" means "jungle" in
Mayan.
ANGLE ON BLACK CAR
following them. The car gets closer, driving up beside them. We see two men. One is a Neanderthal hulk of a man that Littaniesaw in the museum. The other man who drives is
exotic looking. Littanie turns around to GENE (sitting in the back seat) and explains.
Littanie
That car's trying to run us off
the road.
GENE
Do you have something of theirs
worth forty million? Is that
why a hit man was paid two
million to murder you?
Millen, driving faster now, to evade the men. The men pull up and try to bump the car off the road. Millen swerves.
The Neanderthal hulk looking man shoots into the car, but
misses as Millen ducks, swerving ahead of them.
Littanie
Everybody has been trying to
stop me from publishing that
book on diplomatic crime and
immunity. I got the highest
advance on a nonfiction book in
publishing history.
DR. MILLEN
So what can I do to help you?
MILLEN glances in his rear view mirror and looks afraid as he sees a black car swerving ahead of them to cut them off.
ANGLE ON BLACK CAR
The black car has cut them off and forced them to stop in a cloud of dust with screeching brakes. They hit the floor of the car to take cover. The black car pulls up alongside
MILLEN'S CAR and fires a round of machine gun bullets,
destroying the windshield, but deliberately missing the
people inside.
MILLEN
They're firing over our heads,
just to scare us. Don't worry.
If they wanted to kill us, we'd
be dead by now.
MILLEN yells and steps on it. His car races ahead, while
the BLACK CAR follows close behind firing, but missing
MILLEN'S CAR.
As MILLEN pulls into a crowded street full of shops and
shoppers, the BLACK CAR speeds away, turning a corner.
MILLEN'S CAR HAS FLAT TIRES, but drives on to his home.
The BLACK CAR has disappeared for the moment.
MILLEN'S CAR stops in front of MILLEN'S home. They all get out and go in.
50 EXT. DR. MILLEN'S HOME DAY
GENE hurries out and looks around cautiously.
GENE
What the hell do they want?
MILLEN
Look out, here comes trouble.
51 INT. DR. MILLEN'S HOME DAY
The walls are bedecked with Mayan, Aztec, and Incan
Indian artifacts, artwork, and sculptures.
MILLEN
The work would be repetitive.
You can't get away from that.
Archaeology is detective work
that includes a lot of repair
work. Can the two of you come
with me to Guatemala now?
GENE nods and smirks.
GENE
Well, my supervisor owes me six
weeks vacation.
Littanieleaps up and kisses Millen, pulling him down to sit
beside her on the plush white sofa. Millen picks up a CRYSTAL SKULL sitting on his coffee table. He moves it back and forth in his hand under the lamp light. It reflects rainbow colors and weird shapes.
MILLEN
This is just a cheap Aztec
reproduction of the original.
Littanie
Look how the lights change
color and shape like captured
worlds within the mazes.
MILLEN
What craftsmanship using only a
primitive stone tool.
CUT TO:
52 EXT. MILLEN'S HOME DAY
The BLACK CAR parks down the street.
ANGLE ON TWO MEN
as they get out of their car.
PAN WITH MEN
as they sneak into the house by sliding a plastic credit cardthrough the back door lock and jimmying open the door.
PAN WITH MEN
as they sneak through the other rooms.
The TWO MEN enter the living room. ONE MAN IS DR. MARZ. They hold automatic weapons on MILLEN, Littanie, and GENE and point to their car.
DR. MARZ
(chewing a toothpick)
We're going to check into a
motel.
GENE
I hope it's not x rated. Those
kind have oriental roaches.
Littanie
How would you know?
SECOND MAN
There's the matter about your
book. Too bad it was published,
after all.
The two men point their guns at Littanie, Gene, and Millen. they motion with the guns to walk out of the house. They all leave the house.
53 EXT. BLACK CAR
Littanie, GENE and MILLEN are shoved into the back seat with Dr. Marz. It's a tight squeeze with four in the back seat. The other man drives.
54 EXT. DRIVING DOWN STREET TO MOTEL DAY
GENE points to DR. MARZ.
GENE
So you like to study ancient
ape men. How'd you get into
that field, by looking in the
mirror?
He responds by laughing and spitting a toothpick in GENE's face GENE flips it right back at him. Dr. Marz punches GENE in the stomach. Millen tries to distract Marz.
MILLEN
What do you want with me?
GENE doubles over and sticks a bugging device under the seat of the car.
ANGLE ON GENE'S hand as he plants a small, round metal bug under the back seat. It gives off a flickering red signal.
Marz gives Millen a dirty look, but doesn't answer.
THE CAR pulls up to a nearby sleazy adult motel. It's a hot, summer day. They all get out under the armed guard of the SECOND MAN.
55 EXT. MOTEL FRONT DAY
DR. MARZ walks in the small lobby and registers. THE SECOND MAN holds the rest at gunpoint in the shadows behind the motel near a vending machine. THE SECOND MAN reaches into his pocket for two quarters ANGLE ON
VENDING MACHINE'S SIGN READING SODA $1 CHANGE.
GENE
Look at that. Four lousy
quarters for a can of soda.
Eighteen teaspoons of sugar in
every cup.
MILLEN
Don't drink it. Your teeth will
dissolve.
GENE
Did you know sugar causes
violence?
SECOND MAN
Aw, shut up.
Littanie
That's true. The sugar makes
your adrenal glands release the
fear hormone.
GENE
So you get angry to fight the
fear and you hit someone.
SECOND MAN
I don't need a can of soda to
make me do this.
SECOND MAN punches GENE and knocks him against the
wall. He punches the SECOND MAN back and knocks him to the
ground. Just as the three are about to take off: DR. MARZ
comes out and looks at the unconscious man on the ground
behind the vending machine. He draws his gun and hides it under his jacket, pointing at the three.
DR. MARZ
There's no where to run any
longer.
DR. MARZ wipes his sweaty brow on his jacket sleeve.
The heat is rising.
GENE
You got any change?
GENE nods and looks askance at the vending machine.
DR. MARZ
All right.
MARZ reaches into his pocket and takes out a handful of
quarters. GENE finds four quarters in his pocket and gives it to Littanie.
Littanie
Thanks. We can share a
sixteen ounce can of tooth
decay and low blood sugar
tremors.
DR. MARZ puts his four quarters in the machine, but the
vending machine swallows his money.
DR. MARZ jiggles the coin return. Nothing happens.
Growing angrier, he kicks the machine. SECOND MAN is still lying on the floor in front of the machine, but away from the view of the public. There are no other guests around in the weekday afternoon. MUSIC begins to blare loudly from the registration office.
MARZ becomes angrier and more violent, kicking the machine
harder. MARZ STARTS TO SHAKE the vending machine.
MARZ
I know this damn machine will
give me a free soda if shaken
hard enough.
MARZ continues shaking the vending machine. It's top heavy and starts to rock back and forth.
Littanie
Hey, cut that out.
GENE
You're right. Sugar addiction
can make a guy nuts.
MILLEN
That top heavy bitch weighs
half a ton.
MARZ rocks the machine by pushing on the front top of it.
MARZ gets the machine moving, but can't control the rocking.
The VENDING MACHINE falls with surprising speed. MARZ and
the fallen SECOND MAN are both crushed beneath the half ton vending machine.
GENE
Voila!
MILLEN
Let's get the hell out ta here!
Littanie
I'll drink to that.
Littanie bends down and scoops up three ice cold cans of soda pop. She hands one can to each of them. They scramble into the BLACK CAR and speed away.
MILLEN
Who's going to pay for my front
door?
Littanie
Don't you want to know who
wants me dead?
GENE
The same one who murdered that
woman in my tub. If that wasn't
Tanya, then how does Tanya fit?
THE BLACK CAR speeds away.
Littanie
Where to now?
MILLEN
My office and then the passport
office.
DISSOLVE TO:
56 EXT. DR. MILLEN'S SPACIOUS OFFICE UNIVERSITY
CAMPUS PHILADELPHIA DAY
CLOSE ON SIGN reading CHAIRMAN, WESTERN HEMISPHERE
ARCHAEOLOGY
Below sign is Millen's nameplate.
MILLEN, Littanie, and GENE walk up toward his UNIVERSITY OFFICE and enter. MILLEN finds the door open. He backs away cautiously.
MILLEN
Somebody's jimmied the lock.
GENE
Look out. Maybe it's the
janitor.
GENE enters cautiously.
57 INT. MILLEN'S OFFICE DAY
Sitting reading the newspaper in the office with his feet
propped on Millen's desk is DETECTIVE PETER WHITE.
WHITE
Your bugging device attracts
pests.
GENE
I guess we both play detective
on the same radio frequencies.
Littanie
Who's he?
WHITE rises and clamps handcuffs on GENE. He doesn't resist.
Littanieand MILLEN try to bar WHITE'S exit, but he shows them his gun in his holster.
WHITE
(grinning)
You won't make me use this on a
university campus, now will
you?
Littanie
I can see you're drooling at
the thought of exposing your
phallic symbol in public to all
those coeds.
WHITE tucks away his gun and badge.
GENE
Don't bother reading me my
rights. I haven't got any.
WHITE
There's been three murders.
GENE
(nodding)
And I'm still your only
suspect.
Littaniesteps forward.
Littanie
Please let me explain. I'm a
doctor of psychology and a
radio talk show hostess.
WHITE
Yeah. My wife listens to you
all the time. The hound of the
bitch box.
MILLEN
Please. I'm this woman's step
father. And I assure you she's
a credible witness.
GENE
If you'd only let me explain
how I witnessed these murders.
WHITE
(ignoring GENE)
You're always telling women
what to do to get men to marry
them and open their wallets.
GENE
Why aren't you taking me
seriously?
WHITE shoves GENE into a corner.
WHITE
Shut up.
WHITE turns toward Littanieand addresses her as he shoves his open hand in GENE's face, stifling him.
WHITE
After my wife listened to you
she kept nagging me about what
a lousy provider I am, how I'm
not her super hero comic book
serial figure, not her Indian
lover searching for a maiden to
sacrifice.
Littanie
I'm an avid archaeologist at
heart.
GENE bites WHITE'S hand.
WHITE
Ouch! You rabid dog. I'm
taking you in on charges of
murder one.
WHITE handcuffs GENE to a door.
GENE
Look inside my wallet. I tell
you I'm a licensed private
detective.
MILLEN shuffles through his desk. His desk is a mess with
papers and packages piled up high in total disorder. He picks up a package and begins to unwrap it.
MILLEN
Hmmn. It's post marked this
morning. Probably just
arrived.
GENE struggles against his bonds.
GENE
Don't open it.
MILLEN
Don't be silly.
WHITE manhandles GENE, unlocking his handcuffs from the door.
He now has him handcuffed with his hands behind his back as White takes him out the door.
WHITE
We got ta go now.
MILLEN
Wait a second. It's from
Guatemala.
White shoves Gene inside the office in front of him as he
walks back in to watch Millen open the package.
Millen tears open the wrapping and takes a crystal skull out of the package. He holds it up to the light.
MILLEN
It's genuine Mayan...maybe a
thousand years old. Not like my
Aztec imitation.
ANGLE ON CRYSTAL SKULL
as it glows and shimmers rainbow colors and clouds of
changing shapes under the light.
Littaniehangs onto WHITE and drags him back into the office.
Littanie
I recognize your voice from the
phone. You're the creep who
keeps calling me. Those death
threats... You sent me that
rat in a coffin.
GENE blocks his path out the door.
MILLEN
Lookout. He's as corrupt as
this.
Millen lunges forward as he takes the crystal skull and
strikes WHITE across the jaw in a left hook.
White was unprepared and didn't see Millen coming as he was looking at Littaniewhile she was talking to him. White goes down like a prizefighter.
GENE
Get these handcuffs off of me.
Littaniebends down, dipping her hand into the unconscious
White's pockets and comes up with the key. She quickly
unlocks the cuffs.
Gene takes the cuffs and locks them on White's hands,
attaching the cuffs to the handle of a heavy filing cabinet.
GENE, MILLEN, and Littanie duck out the door and run from the university office, leaving WHITE out cold propped against the wall handcuffed to the filing cabinet.
Littanie
Just as I thought. Corrupt
cops are like incontinence
pants, full of crap and all
over your ass.
GENE
Hey, didn't your mother ever
wash your mouth out with soap?
Littanie
Yeah, but I just learned to
cuss in extinct Indian
languages.
GENE, Littanie, and MILLEN get back in the car.
GENE pulls off the bugging device and sticks it on a fire
hydrant as they speed away.
Littanie
(laughing)
I recognized White's voice. He
must have called the station a
dozen times threatening me.
MILLEN
I think I know the tycoon
behind all of this. Remember on
page 12 of your latest book?
CUT TO:
58 EXT. PLANE LANDING at GUATEMALA AIRPORT.
GENE, MILLEN, AND Littaniewalk down the ramp of the plane and head into the middle of the GUATEMALA AIRPORT.
GENE
So, where are we headed?
MILLEN
The Qwatl jungles... point of
origin of the ancient Mayans
just before ten thousand B.C.
Littanie
Hey, that's a volatile area.
No American archaeologists are
digging there. Hey, what's
going on?
MILLEN
We've got to get to Qwatl.
GENE
(looking askance)
There's Tanya and her driver.
He looks left and right. In the opposite direction he sees the others.
GENE
Do we have trouble. There's
Bayangi's assassin man.
They are seated on opposite sides of him. He's surrounded.
59 EXT. RURAL, ARID AREA, JUNGLES OF GUATEMALA DAY
The farmland, desert, and mountains combine. The bus
speeds somewhere between the muddy rivers in the middle of nowhere jungle.
Suddenly on the top of a hill dozens of Guatemalan pure
Indian hashish farmers in jeeps storm down, warlike and
attacking the bus. MILLEN looks out the window.
MILLEN
Here comes an army of real mean
hashish farmers.
GENE
Huh?
The bus comes to a halt. MILLEN steps out and picks a weed from along the road. It's hashish farming.
MILLEN
This is what I mean.
MILLEN hands the weed to Littanie and GENE to sniff as they cautiously step off the bus. Littaniewalks over to the driver and pokes him.
Littanie
Why are we stopping here?
MILLEN
(in Spanish)
What's going on?
DRIVER
(in English)
The farmers need to board.
There's trouble with the Indian
villagers from the jungle.
ANGLE ON FARMERS
The Indian farmers with their bales of hashish storm down in their jeeps and enter the bus, pulling onto the roof as much bales of dry, harvested hashish as they can load up.
GENE, MILLEN, and Littaniestand aside and watch.
TANYA and her DRIVER open their trunk tied to the bicycle
rack on the back of the bus and take out automatic weapons.
TANYA and her DRIVER
load the weapons on the bus in crates provided by the
farmers. No one objects. Tanya looks at Littanie sizes her up and down with her eyes as if she were envious of her stunning beauty, but Tanya is just as beautiful in a different or exotic way.
TANYA
Well, what are you staring at?
GENE
How much did you pay them,
Doctor Tamirova?
Tanya gives Gene a dirty look and turns away, ignoring his
comment. She boards the bus with her Driver and takes over
command, motioning to everyone to make way for her and her
Driver.
Tanya and her Driver hijack the bus. TANYA, dressed in a
black, tight fitting batman type costume puts a machine gun type automatic weapon in the BUS DRIVER'S head.
TANYA
We're taking over this cargo.
Drive all the way to the Border
so we can catch a plane to Cuba
and then on to Moscow.
DRIVER
This cargo's bound for Havana.
TANYA
Well, now it's bound for Mother
Russia.
Littanie
(whispering)
So that's it. They're smuggling
the hashish to the black market
in Moscow.
DRIVER
But we have to go through
Guatemala, and then there's the
hostile Mexican Police at the
border. It's all jungle from
here on.
TANYA'S DRIVER
Just drive north.
MILLEN
But we have to go south.
TANYA
And I catch the plane to Havana
at the Guatemalan border on top
of the Mayan temple ruins. Or
did they say the Aztec ruins at
the Mexican end of the border?
MILLEN
Is that where you store your
hashish, on top of Mayan ruins?
TANYA
After it's zapped by Mayan
pyramid power, it goes twice as
far in Russia.
GENE
The last time we met you were
leading tours in the Soviet
Consulate.
TANYA
I'm afraid bio research can't
wait.
GENE
What do you use your hashish
for, relieving the nausea of
cancer patients at the Moscow
hospice?
TANYA
Very clever, but amateurish.
You're a good telephone
switchman. Why don't you stop
playing private detective?
Littanie
I told him moonlighting wasn't
good for his health.
Tanya's DRIVER grabs GENE around the neck and kicks him in
the groin.
GENE doubles over. TANYA'S DRIVER drags the doubled over GENE to the back seat of the bus and throws him on the seat where he lies, face down.
DRIVER
What should I do with the
Americans?
TANYA
Nothing for now. But I need
your help, Dr. Whisper and
yours.
She turns to MILLEN,
and puts her arm around his shoulders.
MILLEN
What could an archaeologist
have in common with you?
TANYA
I need you to translate
something.
MILLEN
Like what?
TANYA
It's too bad your secret third
book is all about how Central
American hashish farmers supply
the Russian black market.
Unfortunately, you made me the
star. It was the Soviet
Ambassador who put the contract
out on you.
Littanie
It's a tough job. But
someone's got to do it.
GENE limps back, stumbling, bloodied but with a spark of
strength left.
GENE
And he has diplomatic immunity
like the rest.
TANYA turns around and Littanieleaps for her weapon.
Bayangi's right hand man, BABA,
leaps forward from his seat and tackles Littaniebefore she
disarms TANYA.
BABA
Even the ambassador's chauffeur
has diplomatic immunity...and
his cook.
Littaniestruggles upward as BABA has his weapon trained on her.
Littanieyells to Gene for help. Gene reacts to her plea by
coming to her rescue and wrestling with Baba's gun, bashing Baba with his fists and setting Littaniefree.
Littanie
I think I'm in love with you,
Gene.
GENE
I've always loved you. Before
today, I was afraid of being
intimidated by your "what do
you do for a living" line.
Littanie
That radio program's not the
real me.
They embrace and kiss. Tanya laughs louder and louder and
begins to walk toward the couple, circling like a lioness.
GENE
Why would a girl like you fall
in love with a telephone
switchman?
Littanie
I'm not falling in love with
what you do, but what kind of
man you are.
GENE
How can you be sure you're not
just grabbing me in the throes
of grief over Craig?
Littanie
Grief for a man who tried to
strangle me with phone cable?
GENE
That's right, phone cable. He
strangled that Tanya lookalike
in my bathtub to make it look
like I was the murderer
stalking you. Then when you
were killed, he could blame it
on the frequent caller, that
phone repairman. He was taping
my calls to you.
Littanie
You were the perfect patsy...a
working class fan obsessed with
a radio psychologist who
rejects him. You told
everything about your life on
the air.
GENE
So you're really falling in
love with me?
Littanie
Yes. Can you believe it?
Littaniesmiles with a look of exquisite happiness and embraces Gene.
GENE
A doctor in love with his
patient...I'm not your patient,
am I?
Littanie
No. You're a man I admire for
kindness in the face of
rejection. I love you because
you're slow to anger and quick
to solve problems.
GENE
You're not the hound of the
bitch box at all. You're
sweet...and lovely.
Gene caresses her face, her chin.
Littanie
And you're so romantic.
GENE
How can you be sure I don't
love you for your money or for
celebrity by association?
Littanie
Because you have no ambition to
rise higher than a switchman.
GENE
Will you still love me after a
night of monitoring phone
calls?
Littanie
What do you think?
Littaniekisses him. He embraces her.
GENE
Don't ever let me go.
Tanya walks over to the couple and gets between the two as
they embrace. She separates them by shoving Littanieaway.
TANYA
So you two are falling in love.
Littanie
What's it to you?
TANYA
What a coincidence that both of
you monitor phone calls. Were
you listening for quality? Or
merely eavesdropping?
Tanya laughs loudly.
GENE
What's between you and Littanie?
Tanya looks at Littanie. She stands very close to her.
TANYA
I'm a big fan of Dr. Whisper.
Her tapes are expensive in
Moscow...on the black market,
of course. It would have been
much safer to tell listeners
how to find Mr. Right.
GENE
My name is Mr. Wright.
TANYA
Dr. Whisper, I have a problem.
You wrote this book where I
appear in not a very nice
light.
GENE
(whispering)
Light!
GENE takes his cigarette lighter out from his pocket and
flicks it on. He's standing next to a bale of dry hashish
lying on an empty seat. It goes up in flames. SARTU opens
fire with his machine gun as everyone ducks.
Littanieshoves TANYA as she fires her automatic weapon in a
circle. TANYA falls into the arms of one of the Indian
hashish farmers. Tanya takes out her wavy knife and slits
his throat across his scar.
GENE and Littaniemake it out the door. Gasoline is pouring from the exhaust pipe, running red with blood. GENE tosses a flaming bale of hashish at the gas pipe just as MILLEN comes crashing out of a broken bus window. He's all right. MILLEN
rolls as the gun shots miss him. The three duck behind a
rock as the bus leaps into flames and then explodes. TANYA
and BABA and her DRIVER have escaped out the bus's emergency exit and are seen driving off to the north in the hashish farmer's jeeps.
MILLEN
(exhuasted)
The American Ambassador was
laundering their money for
years, investing in antiquities
here.
Littanie
The Russian Ambassador was
laundering the American
Ambassador's money from African
hashish farming all over
Central America. I've been
writing a full investigative
report on it. That's why they
didn't want my third book to be
published.
GENE
Then Tanya's created a Russian
black market for Central
American hashish...the filthy
capitalist.
MILLEN stumbles to his feet and begins walking across the
mountainous jungles of Guatemalan.
MILLEN
These farmers leave a heat
track. We've got to get to
Qwatl.
CUT TO:
60 EXT. JUNGLE AND VILLAGES FLANKED BY FARMLAND JEEP NIGHT
roars away full throttle and takes a hard right turn toward the three.
61 EXT. WHITEWASHED STUCCO FARM HOUSE A FULL MOON
hangs over the military jeep. It pulls up silently to the
side of the farmhouse. The house is windowless with a ladder around back that leads to a skylight on the roof. It is like a warehouse or house sized storage shed.
62 INT. JEEP PURE INDIAN GUANI
and LOCO get out of the jeep. They are pure Guatemalan
Indian military police. GUANI shoves a stick of hashish
into his pipe and lights it. He spits out his chewing gum
mastic.
GUANI and LOCO go into the farm house.
63 INT. FARMHOUSE NIGHT
The house is filled with stolen antiquities from several
remote Mayan and Aztec areas. In another room, stashes of hashish are piled high.
MILLEN, Littanie, and GENE climb around back over a fence and up the ladder to the skylight on the roof deck.
They peer in the window at a room full of antiquities being packed in crates stamped with pictures of cans of chili peppers. There are two other men in the house.
They're not only storing hashish. They're smuggling
antiquities in those crates.
All speak in whispers.
Littanie
Some crates of pickled peppers.
MILLEN
Smuggling Indian antiquities is
just as big a business as
smuggling hashish.
GENE
Who's the big gold statue?
MILLEN
The Mayan Moon goddess Yucca,
ten thousand B.C.
GENE
Do you think she came from
outer space?
MILLEN
Of course. If you could write
in Mayan around ten thousand
B.C., Who the hell would you
worship?
GENE slaps the side of his head with his palm and stretches up to get a closer look through the skylight. It gives way and he crashes through landing in the arms of a statue of a goddess with outstretched arms holding him, like in the Pieta. MILLEN and Littaniepeer through the broken skylight at GENE being carried by the golden statue.
64 INT. ROOM FARMHOUSE NIGHT
GENE
Oh, powerful Yucca, alien from
the galaxy called Zeti, ice age
Mayan maiden, what did you say
to provoke the sacrificial
priests to smash you like a
battered wife? Did you wear
your feathered skirts too
tight? Or did you make men feel
powerless?
LOCO
(with accent)
Who the hell are you?
GUANI
Get him.
The other two men look up and see Littanieand MILLEN through the skylight. LOCO swipes his tranquilizer dart gun used for animal hunting from the nearby wall and shoots Littanieand MILLEN with animal tranquilizer darts. They fall asleep.
The other two men grab GENE and inject him with animal
tranquilizer. They tie him up.
GUANI climbs up and ties a rope around the two sleeping
bodies as he and LOCO lower them through the skylight. They tie them up on a table.
CUT TO:
65 INT. ROOM FULL OF GOLDEN AND MARBLE ANTIQUITY TREASURES DAY
It's like a museum where house. Outside a window there's
another room filled with stored bales of hashish drying out.
Littanie, GENE, and MILLEN find themselves tied up as they stir and awaken the next morning.
GUANI peers through the bars on the small window that leads to the hashish storage room. He burps loudly as GENE opens his eyes to that ugly sound.
LOCO
I've brought you some of our
bread. Eat it. Bread is the
staff of Indian life.
GUANI kisses the bread and touches it to his forehead and
kisses it again before putting it back on the plate. He
makes an omelet and keeps spitting in the omelet while he's beating the eggs in a bowl.
GENE stirs and looks at him through squinty eyes. He's
groggy. The others are just stirring. LOCO has obvious cold sores all over his mouth.
GENE
Hey, don't do that. You have
cold sores. Do you know how
contagious herpes is? Jeez,
what am I doing here?
LOCO
(laughing)
I spent two years learning
English just waiting for you to
get here.
MILLEN whispers in GENE'S ear. They are all lying on the
floor with their hands and feet tied.
MILLEN
Where did you get that Mayan
stuff?
GENE
From my Chinese acupuncture
class. Do you know who I am?
LOCO
No.
Littanie
Oh, my gosh.
GUANI
Did you see the new palace that
Doctor Sanchez is building?
You've never seen a palace as
big as this one.
GUANI comes into the room and locks the door behind him. He puts down a tray with several rounds of Guatemalan food on it, a pitcher of water, cups, and a container of mashed beans with mixed grains and fried bread.
MILLEN
Where do the Russians sell your
hashish?
LOCO
All over the Soviet Union,
Europe. Caribbean. Asia.
Africa. Australia. Whoever
has money. Especially to
capitalist pig Russians
vacationing in Cuba.
Littanie
How did Russia get into drug
dealing? Who's behind the
Russian organized crime?
LOCO
Maybe they've been behind the
curtain too long. So when they
run like an escaped rat, they
become like gluttons with
money.
Littanie
American money?
LOCO
Sure. But who sent you?
GENE
You haven't told us who's the
big boss? Who's behind
organized crime in Russia?
LOCO
(laughing)
An American, of course. But
you'll have to ask Sanchez.
GENE, Littanie, and MILLEN have a dumbstruck expression.
FADE OUT
66 EXT. PALATIAL HACIENDA IN GUATEMALAN JUNGLE DAY
In the distance two covered jeeps drive up a hot, dusty road that leads to an inner courtyard of what looks like a rich man's estate built in the style of a Spanish style palace.
CUT TO:
67 EXT. GARDEN COURTYARD of SANCHEZ.
LOCO and GUANI followed by two farmers escort GENE, Littanie, AND MILLEN into the stately home to meet the important American.
At first SANCHEZ, a wealthy, obese LATIN comes to greet
them preceded by a SERVANT who opens the door. The SERVANT is old and emaciated. ANGLE ON SERVANT'S WRINKLED FACE and hollow eyes.
SANCHEZ
Why didn't you say you were
guests of Tanya?
Littanie
(laughing nervously)
I thought you knew we were.
GENE
Anyhow, I'm here to fix your
electronic equipment. Aren't
you going to install
intercommunication devices?
SANCHEZ
I can't wait around.
GENE
And what do you produce?
Anything for export?
SANCHEZ points the way for the three to follow. He motions
for the two farmers to wait in a holding foyer. They take
their seats and are handed cups of tea by the servant.
SANCHEZ
The biggest palace in the world
was built for me by one of your
own.
MILLEN
Which American is behind you?
SANCHEZ
Oh, not behind. I want you to
meet the man who makes the
Russian Minister of Defense eat
out of his hand.
68 INT. PLUSH ROOM DARKLY LIGHTED INDOOR WATERFALL
Antiquities abound in this darkly colored room. There is a quiet richness with lattices on the windows, like a castle in Spain. Incense burns.
GENE
Is air conditioning expensive
here?
The American, a retired Vice President of the CENTRAL
AMERICAN BANANA REPUBLIC, JOHN BARNETT, steps out of the
shadows.
EX VICE PRESIDENT BARNETT
Do you know why I'm here?
Littanie, GENE, and MILLEN all look at one another, stunned with surprise.
Littanie
John Barnett, the first
American Vice President of a
Central American Banana
Republic to be impeached. I
knew somebody high up in
government was the prime mover.
MILLEN
Yeah! Why would somebody as
important as you put a contract
on my stepdaughter's life?
BARNETT
Oh, please, that was my Russian
lackey.
Littanie
I'd hardly call the Soviet
Minister of Defense and the
Russian Ambassador to the U.N.
lackeys.
BARNETT
They didn't want you naming
them in your yet unpublished
book.
BARNETT
The terrorists get turned onto
one another instead of on us.
BARNETT
My corporations are all over
the world. I mean, look at the
Russian Minister Of Defense.
Littanie
How long have you been
laundering illegal drug money
in all those corporations?
BARNETT
All the time I served as Vice
President of a tiny Central
American Republic. I always
said I was a Republican.
GENE
Yeah, who would think of
tracing foreign ownership of
money laundering banks to an
American whose ancestors came
over on the Mayflower?
69 EXT. JUNGLES OF QWATL JUST OUTSIDE A SMALL TOWN DAY
The sun is just coming up.
Littanie, GENE, and MILLEN ride in one pickup truck. Behind them in a white limousine rides BARNETT, SANCHEZ and two
bodyguards.
Suddenly a third car approaches from the opposite direction.
The car follows the car Littanie, GENE, and MILLEN are in,
bumping and pushing it off the road.
Littanielooks into the window of the car and sees her old
Professor Gorton. Littanie'S DRIVER jerks the car into a desert gully.
Littanie
Good God, it's
Professor Gorton.
He's supposed to be
dead.
GENE
A phone right now
would come in handy.
GENE ducks as GORTON aims a rifle at her and shoots.
There's a man sitting next to him in the shadows.
GORTON
Sorry, but they're making me do
this. I knew you would come
here.
Littanie
What's the matter, did you plan
your own death?
GENE
I think it's time we both
called our employers.
Littanie'S DRIVER spins his wheels fruitless as he's caught in
the sand in a gully. He stops the car.
GORTON leaves the car. He walks over to the three carrying a rifle, pointing it at them.
BARNETT'S car drives up and BARNETT gets out flanked by his two huge bodyguards. Their chests are crisscrossed by
bullets.
Littanie
Why did you send me Mayan maze
box with the diamonds and
tablet?
GORTON
It's the find of the century.
Do you know what the tablet
says?
Littanie
Don't tell me it's a fortune
cookie to the Mayans from their
Chinese space brothers on the
merits of acupuncture on
sacrificial virgins.
GORTON
In fact they did suggest that.
Littanie
Was there good corn crop that
year?
GORTON
No. Qwatl was deserted after a
famine. All they left behind
was the gold.
Littaniewalks toward him slowly. He inches up to her pointing
the rifle at everybody.
GENE
I thought we were supposed to
film a documentary newsreel.
MILLEN
Shut up, you dumb telephone
repairman.
GORTON spins around, surprised as MILLEN gets out of the car.
GORTON and MILLEN run toward each other and embrace, hugging.
GORTON slings the rifle over his shoulder like a soldier.
GORTON stares at MILLEN with surprise and shock.
GORTON
You son of a gun, I haven't
heard from you in thirty
years.
ANGLE ON MILLEN
GORTON COMES INTO FRAME with MILLEN
CUT TO: BARNETT
BARNETT begins walking over to the two men shaking each
other's hands.
MILLEN
What have you got for me this
time?
GORTON
I had to fake my own death.
Don't you see? I got the find
of the century. Now I can prove
the Mayan scribes were really
humanoid space aliens who used
Chinese acupuncture on ape man
to create Peking Man in their
image.
MILLEN pushes him away sharply.
MILLEN
Well, you made a monkey out ta
me.
GORTON tosses his notebook to BARNETT who catches it.
BARNETT nods to his two body guards as he pockets the
notebook. They swing around the automatic weapons on their backs and let fly with round of bullets that hits GORTON. The man with him who is still in the shadows, and MILLEN also appear to be hit, but are not injured.
GORTON appears to be hit and goes down. Something is strange. Gorton isn't really hit, but appears to be.
BARNETT walks over to GORTON and spits on his face.
Remaining under their car is GENE and Littanie. They peer out
following BARNETT'S boot sounds as he walks with his
bodyguards and bends down over GORTON'S body.
BARNETT'S face is close, almost touching GORTON'S face.
It's not really Gorton, but appears to be to Barnett.
BARNETT
(laughing weirdly)
You had me impeached, you
bastard.
BARNETT turns toward GENE and Littanie. His bodyguards drag them out and force them back on their feet.
GENE
But why? Aren't we the guys
hired to install all your
electronic equipment?
BARNETT
We checked on that. I don't
know who the hell you are, but
you're not getting out of here
alive.
GENE
Fine, then you won't mind
telling me why you killed
Gorton and his pal over there.
SANCHEZ walks over and roughs up the two. He kicks sand in
GENE'S eyes.
BODY GUARD
takes off his belt of bullets that crisscross his chest and wraps it around Littanie, pinning her arms to her sides.
BARNETT motions with a hand gesture for SANCHEZ to back
off. He obeys.
BARNETT
Gorton was eccentric. But he
did have direct evidence a
secret government in the United
States formed right under the
president's nose to push drugs
on the spineless to pay off the
national debt. The secret
government is composed of top
scientists.
SANCHEZ
Millen, the fool, believed him.
They worked together, until
Gorton disappeared. He came
here and faked his death.
Littanie
He won't have to fake anything
now. Gene. I've decided I want
to marry you.
Gene turns around and looks at Littaniea beat. Then he embraces her.
BARNETT'S bodyguards surround Littanieand GENE, pointing
weapons at them.
BARNETT
Gorton proved I set the Arabs
up to attack one another My
corporations are all over the
world. Look at the Russian
Minister of Defense. He won't
involve the Soviet Union in
anything now.
Littanie
What Soviet Union?
GENE
Why are you laundering drug and
black market antiquities money
for all of your foreign
corporations, including the
capitalist Russians?
BARNETT
All the time I served as Vice
President of this bananna
republic, I thought about what
really went on back home. All I
want to do is save the earth
from pollution.
GENE
By pushing drugs and smuggling
antiquities?
BARNETT
The only way the U.S.
government can raise money is
to push drugs and pass
disinformation about U.F.O.
alien abductions. That's how
they pay off the national debt.
Littanie
You're evil.
BARNETT
What this world needs is a
strong boss to protect the
trees. In fifty years, there
won't be breathable oxygen on
this planet. There's no quicker
way America raises money than
by pushing drugs on the world's
spineless poor and antiquities
on the rich. Anybody asks
questions? Divert him by
pointing to U.F.O. abductions.
GENE
Bullshit!
GENE reaches in his pocket and takes out a quarter. He holds out the quarter for BARNETT to see. The sun glints off the quarter which is shiny and has been filed smooth to a mirror surface.
The sun's reflection bouncing off the coin blinds BARNETT
for a minute. He's off balance for a fraction of a
second and GENE takes advantage.
ANGLE on BARNETT'S reflection in GENE'S sunglasses.
GENE and Littanieshove BARNETT and make a run for it. There are mountains all around them, lots of big stones.
BARNETT leaps into his car, his bodyguards pack it.
ANGLE on the man in the shadows who is dead, hanging out the window of the car. We see his face for the first time. It's JIM, Littanie'S STATION MANAGER. From his hanging wrist dangles an open briefcase. It's handcuffed to him.
The open briefcase swings back and forth.
ANGLE ON MONEY IN BRIEFCASE. There are forty million
dollars strapped inside the open, dangling briefcase that
swings in the breeze.
Littanie
It's my god damn station
manager! What the hell was he
doing here?
GENE
From the looks of all that
money, either he was paying
your ransom, or your hit man.
GENE and Littaniemake a run for it into the ruins nearby. They head for the Mayan temple pyramid.
BARNETT gives the hand signal for his bodyguards to fire
their rounds.
GENE and Littanieduck behind rocks and make it to the temple of the moon pyramid--a newly excavated one in Centralia.
BARNETT'S CAR is chasing them. GENE and Littanieare on foot and unarmed. They begin to climb the steps of the Indian pyramid.
GENE stumbles into a trap door of loose mud bricks. He
lowers himself into the darkness. There are descending steps.
Littanietakes out her small pen flashlight and focuses it on
the stone steps cut into the rock of the pyramid. She follows him. They reach the bottom of the pyramid and begin to feel their way along the pit.
They pass through winged Mayan Indian bas reliefs and wall paintings of grotesque Indians with eagle's wings and sacred reptilian bird gods, crocodile gods, and turn several corners, descend another flight of stairs and come to:
A TELEPHONE BOOTH
GENE
So they did fix it up for the
tourists.
Littaniekicks open another small door. It collapses, exposing an old wooden outhouse type bench toilet.
Littanie
They didn't forget the john,
either.
Littaniegoes to look at the toilet. She pulls down her slacks to use it, but decides to have a look at what she's about to sit on. As she flashes her penlight into the toilet: ANGLE ON a wooden toilet bowl filled with dirt and rats, snapping wildly at one another. Littaniescreams.
GENE comes running over and peers into the toilet.
GENE
Those rats don't scare me none.
Now, snakes would be worth a
scream. Excuse me.
GENE motions for her to back out the door of the john. He
closes it, and we hear from outside the closed door the
sound of him taking a leak.
Littanie
Well!
GENE comes out of the john, smiling.
GENE
Go ahead, use it to your
heart's content. I've drowned
all the rats.
Littaniegoes in and shuts the door.
Littanie
You're disgusting.
GENE is jimmying the phone to work without coins. He
tries to read the sign, but it's in Spanish.
GENE
If they set this up for
tourists in the Mayan pyramid,
they should have put up a sign
in English.
Littanie
Maybe they don't want the
Gringos.
GENE
A dollar is a still a dollar.
Only the Mexicans call us
Gringos. Ah, there it is.
GENE gets a dial tone. He dials the operator. She answers in Spanish.
GENE
I speak only English. Can you
get the police?
CUT TO:
BARNETT, SANCHEZ, and his BODYGUARDS begin to ascend the
pyramid steps. As they reach the top, there is an
astronomical observation tower with an ancient Chinese wise man statue built on top.
Littanieand GENE are squeezed into the phone booth together.
GENE
I know how to dial my office
directly from here without
overseas operator assistance.
Littanie
There's no time.
ANGLE ON BARNETT as he begins lowering himself into the pit, followed by his men. He takes a can of mace out of his back pack and maces a swarm of huge, ferocious black rats.
70 INT. PYRAMID ENTRANCE DAY
Suddenly a swarm of pigeons and small birds come up from
out of nowhere and fly into his face as they escape the
maced rat pack. The rats run all over him, now frenzied by the mace.
71 INT. DEEP WITHIN WINDING CORRIDORS OF MAYAN TEMPLE PYRAMID
DAY
Littanietries to get out of the phone booth, but the door is
locked. GENE jiggles and pushes the door. It's still jammed.
The two are trapped in the old phone booth.
GENE
I'm dialing my office come hell
or high water.
GENE "hotwires" the phone with a small tool he takes out of his shirt pocket. He dials the toll free international
number to the central office and then keys in a code number to his supervisor's office. It rings on the other side.
72 INT. PHONE COMPANY LOS ANGELES MIDNIGHT SHIFT
JOAN COOKE, GENE'S SUPERVISOR, answers the phone at her
personal desk.
JOAN
Joan Cooke, Supervisor, here.
GENE
This is Gene calling from the
ancient city of QWATL,
somewhere in the jungles of
Central America.
Gene hears a click at the other end. She hung up on him.
GENE with his sun hat over his face and Littanie with her scarf covering her face, rock the phone booth back and forth.
GENE gives a final push and it tumbles over crashing loudly, with the glass smashing everywhere.
BARNETT as he hears and is startled by the crash.
BARNETT
It's them.
BARNETT motions for his men to follow in the direction of the crash.
GENE and Littaniescramble out of the phone booth. GENE turns
back to hang up the phone.
Littanie
Come on, you obsessive
compulsive.
GENE
You can't just leave a phone
off the hook. It'll register
back at the office as out of
order, and then a repair man
will be sent out here.
Littanie
That's the point.
GENE takes the phone off the hook.
They make a run for it. The inside walls of the
temple/pyramid are painted vividly in Central American
Indian type art of male figures with reptilian birds
offering sacrifices to the deities and bloody sacrifices of virgin maidens on temple of the moon altars.
GENE and Littanieenter a MAZE of smaller winding chambers. They try to make it through the maze as fast as they can toward a giant painted double door in the distance.
The door has paintings of two winged reptile gods on both sides guarding a young maiden standing next to a Chinese bearded wise man getting an acupuncture treatment on an altar.
Drawings of crystal skulls and ancient Chinese
acupuncturists abound with Mayan gods and winged reptiles.
GENE and Littanieget halfway through the maze when BARNETT
catches up with them. BARNETT has an automatic weapon and
fires a round at them. Littanieand GENE duck.
Littaniecomes face to face with a huge black snake as she bends down behind a sacrificial alter on the side lines about halfway through the maze.
Littanieyells. GENE puts his hand over her mouth and stifles
her sound.
They inch around the snake, leaving it behind. The snake
slithers closer to BARNETT.
BARNETT picks up his machine gun and begins to fire a
round on GENE and Littanieas they crouch, slowly inching
toward opposite areas of the maze.
SANCHEZ corners Littanieand takes aim as she runs through the maze like a rat.
GENE cries out to distract him from his target.
BARNETT throws a knife at GENE and misses. GENE somersaults and runs through the maze in the opposite direction from Littanie, taking cover behind a stone dead end maze wall.
At the top of the pit TANYA, her DRIVER, and her fiendish assistant, BABA, Bayangi's right hand man, all show up armed to the teeth with guns.
TANYA climbs down the trap door entrance to the pit of the pyramid.
She looks down on all of theme scrambling like rats through the stone maze inside the pyramid Mayan temple.
TANYA
(echoing)
Glasnost or perestroika? Which
shall it be?
As BARNETT
looks up and begins to fire his small handgun. He hits
Bayangi's right hand man, BABA who is now TANYA'S lackey.
BABA
falls through the dark pit into the maze and lands right next to Littanie. She rolls away from under the body.
SANCHEZ
fires back on TANYA but TANYA ducks. She crouches next to
her gun and fires. SANCHEZ pitches over, going down firing a round of semiautomatic bullets.
TANYA tosses a gun to GENE. He catches it.
GENE
We're not on the same side.
TANYA
I'm on the human side. Don't
believe the new age crap
they're feeding you.
GENE
Why? Are you ready to trade in
open minds?
Littaniesidles over to GENE and they crouch close to each other now.
BARNETT'S TWO BODYGUARDS
begin to fire on TANYA. She fires back and hits one in the gut, burning a hole through his belly.
The SECOND BODYGUARD
reloads his gun but it doesn't work when he fires.
BARNETT
pulls a sling shot off his back and grabs up a large stone, using the sling shot to fire the large stone at TANYA'S head. He misses her. Tanya jumps down the rest of the way, bouncing like a cat to her feet at the end of the dark pit.
Her gun falls by the sidelines as she scrambles to make a
dash to retrieve it.
The last bodyguard lunges at TANYA at close range.
C.U. TANYA'S SPIKE HEELED SHOE
Tanya kicks up her spike heel shoe and the metal heel goes right through the bodyguard's throat. He gurgles.
Tanya uses her other foot to shove his face back to remove her heel from his Adam's apple. He falls dead. Tanya somersaults away from the body, retrieving her automatic from the bottom of the pit.
Tanya loses one of her shoes with a spiked heel. It falls off a ledge, just missing Barnett crouching below. BARNETT is hiding behind another stone maze wall.
BARNETT grabs his dead bodyguard's sling shot and props the spiked heel shoe in the slingshot. BARNETT fires the
slingshot and the spiked heel shoe goes flying through the
air nailing TANYA between the eyes.
TANYA screams, smiles her werewolf grin, and keels over,
unconscious, a blossom of red fanning out in the middle of
her forehead like a third eye. TANYA'S DRIVER
creeps up behind BARNETT and jumps him. They struggle,
rolling around. TANYA'S DRIVER kicks BARNETT in the head.
A rat bites him on the hand. He hesitates for a moment to
draw his hand from the rat's teeth. As: BARNETT fires a
round in DRIVER'S face.
The noise causes a statue to break loose and come crashing
down, just missing BARNETT. GENE checks his semiautomatic.
GENE and Littaniespeak in whispers.
GENE
Shucks! I don't know how to
fire an automatic weapon.
Littanie
Barnett doesn't know you never
volunteered for military
service.
GENE
A private eye doesn't need this
kind of gun. You're supposed to
use your brains.
Littanie
You wouldn't be moonlighting as
a private eye if you thought
telephone switchmen have enough
brains.
GENE
Tell that to my supervisor.
Littanie
Nine years on the job without a
promotion, and I'd be doubting
my competence too.
Gene looks at her with love in his eyes.
GENE
I'm the best repairman of phone
switching equipment that anyone
will ever need.
Littanie
I'll still have to deal with
being envied.
BARNETT is creeping toward them in the maze as they are
moving slowly toward the light at the end of the maze.
BARNETT
There's no way out of there.
BARNETT surprises GENE with a kick in the face. He's stunned for a moment.
GENE
grabs a rock off a ledge and whacks Barnett across the jaw
just as Barnett lunges again at Gene.
GENE
See? It works just as well as a
priceless crystal skull.
At the opposite end of the pit JIM, THE STATION MANAGER,
enters with a line of military police.
ANGLE ON JIM
and his military police at entrance. Littaniesees him, is
startled, but runs toward him through the maze and towards
the light at the end of the tunnel, as GENE bends over
BARNETT, shining his flashlight in his face.
JIM, STATION MANAGER
Leave him, Gene. I'm
moonlighting, too, this time
with the FBI. We've been
tracking you two for days.
Littaniemakes it out of the maze alone.
A line of military police file into the maze. BARNETT lies
exhausted propped against the wall.
Littanie
But I saw you gunned down with
Professor Gorton.
JIM
Not with this on.
JIM unbuttons his shirt. He's wearing a bulletproof vest.
Littanie
That's not funny. They could
have shot you in the face.
JIM
A man sitting in the shadows is
not a great target.
GORTON walks in alive.
Littanie
Professor Gorton. I saw you
blasted in the belly.
Gorton opens his jacket to reveal a bullet proof vest. He
gives the vest a punch and it clangs like the sound of metal.
He also removes his sun visor cap and taps it against a rock.
There is a sound of metal striking, clanging. He puts his cap back on.
GORTON
They don't call me heavy metal
for nothing. Besides, the car's
bullet proof.
Littanie
Oh, they got bullets that will
go through bullet proof cars.
Littaniegoes over and gives her old professor a hug.
GORTON
We had to put a double vest on
Millen.
Littanielooks over GORTON'S shoulder and sees her stepfather,
Professor MILLEN walk in.
Littanie
Dad!
Littanierushes over and gives him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
MILLEN
That lookalike rubber mold vest
sure exploded with fake blood
when the bullets hit, thanks to
Jim's men. Thank goodness there
was metal underneath.
Littanie
But what if you were killed?
Littaniegives Millen a fatherly hug.
MILLEN
I was afraid they'd find out it
wasn't all me. You should see
what they make in special
effects electronics nowadays.
GENE looks on in amazement as the Guatemalan police take
BARNETT away.
JIM, STATION MANAGER
I'll take him back to be tried
in the United States. He thinks
he's with the CIA.
Littanie
I better be back at work on
Monday. You're the main guest
on Monday Midnight Bitch Box.
Littaniegives him a hug. Tears of joy flow down her cheeks.
GENE makes his way through the maze as JIM shines a
flashlight for him to see.
GENE shakes JIM'S hand.
JIM
Good work there, Gene. If you
didn't monitor that phone call,
Littaniewouldn't be here. Thank
your co worker, Bob Stanton,
for his help. I'll see you as
my guest on Monday.
GENE backs away in horror. He withdraws his hand and bends
his head in shame.
GENE
I'm afraid no one must know I
listened in to that phone call.
Telling Bob could have cost me
my job if he went to the
supervisor instead of the
F.B.I.
JIM
But why? You're a national
hero. Besides, Bob was my
commanding officer in Vietnam.
GENE
Bob? You mean telephone
switchman, Bob?
Gene laughs in surprise.
JIM, STATION MANAGER
Sure. Because of you, I just
broke a diplomatic money
laundering syndicate reaching
from Central America to
Russia...nothing terribly
important.
GENE
So you believed me from the
beginning!
JIM, STATION MANAGER
I could have passed the buck by
phoning the C.I.A. They handle
diplomatic crime.
GENE
What stopped you?
JIM, STATION MANAGER
Preventing a California radio
talk show hostess from being
murdered is strictly F.B.I.
JIM grins boastfully and yawns.
Littanie
And Gene's marrying a doctor of
clinical psychology.
JIM, STATION MANAGER
Shucks. Then you're not going
to sue me for sexual
harassment.
Littanie
Not if you pay my attorney's
fee.
MILLEN
Isn't anyone interested in
learning the Mayan secrets of
acupuncture?
GENE turns away, exhausted, leaving GORTON with outstretched hands. He walks toward Littanie.
GENE
I'm just a high school graduate
who repairs equipment for the
phone company.
Littanie
No, you're my hero.
She embraces him and kisses him passionately on the mouth.
He returns her kisses. BARNETT passes GENE and Littanieas he
stumbles out. He's half carried by several military police.
He's ranting like a madman.
BARNETT
I'm the former Vice President
of this Republic. I've got
diplomatic immunity.
JIM CUFFS BARNETT and leads him away.
Littaniefollows after BARNETT a few feet and calls out to him in the echo chamber of the temple pyramid.
Littanie
I'm setting our wedding date
for August. Do I have a
committment?
GENE
Definitely. That's when the
phone company goes on strike
for three weeks.
DISSOLVE TO:
73 EXT. HONEYMOON CRUISE SHIP DAY
Littanieand Gene are standing on deck as the ocean is bright
blue and calm.
The sound of a motorboat grows louder as it approaches the
honeymoon cruise boat.
ANGLE ON TANYA
a massive scar on her forehead, between her eyes where the
spike heel caught her. She now pastes the fake scar that used to be across her throat below the real scar on her forehead.
TANYA
stands alone focusing a high powered rifle on Littanieand Gene.
ANGLE THROUGH RIFLE'S FOCUSING CROSSPOINT P.O.V FROM TANYA'S RIFLE.
Tanya aims at the honey moon couple. Gene embraces Littanie and kisses her.
CLOSE ON Littanie's and Gene's wedding rings.
TANYA'S BOAT
approaches silently, motor turned off. Very close to
honeymoon boat.
GENE notices in the distance a motor boat drifting alongside the ship. He pulls Littanieback.
TANYA
takes aim from the next higher deck and slowly squeezes the trigger.
C.U.
of Tanya's finger slowly squeezing the trigger. Angle through eyepiece of rifle, focusing on Littanie nd then on Gene. As Tanya slowly continues to squeeze that rifle another shot rings out.
CUT TO:
BOB
on the third deck, one deck higher than Tanya's perch. Bob
was watching Tanya and the couple all the time. Bob bends
overboard to take a look. TANYA falls overboard into the
water and floats, face up and staring wide eyed, quite dead.
BOB
rushes down to give the newlyweds a hug.
GENE
What are you doing here?
BOB
Second honeymoon for us.
Anyway, I had to see what you
folks were up to, right? Are
you two private eyes ready to
tackle your next
world catastrophe sized case?
Bob kisses the newlyweds on the cheek. They all wrap their
arms around one another and walk off to the ship's recreation room.
PAN WITH GENE, Littanie, AND BOB
as they walk into the recreation room.
GENE
Where the hell did you learn to
shoot like that, Bob?
BOB
In the Marines.
CUT TO:
Backside of ship sailing away. Suddenly, with pang of frightening music, Tanya bobs up in the water, alive.
She pulls a plastic head mask with a bullet hole through
the forehead off her own head and shakes out the water
from her hair. She gazes at the ship passing her by.
TANYA
I'll be back, you reptile brains.
FADE OUT TO THE END.
***
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