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review 2017-02-05 03:43
Messy x infinity = I'm reading
The Straight Line - EAB

Where I ramble my thoughts on the entertaintment of The Straight Line and why I needed it...

So this book has the honor (or horror - depends on who you ask) being read pre- and post- election.

(Don't worry this won't get political)

The Straight Line was supposed to be introductory peek into EAB's writing, because his other book Black Snow sounded all kinds of yum. But this book's blurb was a SRAL order du jour on the author's short menu: cheating, an uptight guy losing his mind over the third from he and his wife's supposed to be one time threesome...and look at the drawn cover.

Yaoi haze descended on me.

I saw the drama filled lights blaring loud and clear.

And the peek was only supposed to be brief; my review pile is so long, it probably has its own zip code at this point.

To be honest, I was going to DNF after the first 10%. The book's start was rough as fuck. And I was getting weird sort of FSOG vibes with not naming the genitals that is a pet peeve of mine: if you're old enough to use the fuck parts, call them by their name.

The husband and wife were your run of the mill couple I guess. The hubby was WAY uptight. The wife thought bringing her resident from her job would be a good idea to spice it up. And the third...he's one interesting character.

There's something intriguing about him. It could be fantasy that he represents.
Or that he fucked like a champ.
Or maybe that he dismantled the hell out of the husband, Courtney, piece by piece.

Thankfully, the author got into the groove as the story progressed. This is a self published book and reads as such - yes there is a need for editing. But I can overlook it especially if I'm hooked (which I was).

So I'm trekking along as the story continues to unfurl deeper with messy antics (I'll get to that)

And then the election. Cut to post election. :|

And mourning. What's a girl who loves to read to do?

Get back to the fucking book (and visiting GR for more books to add the massive TBR because book therapy is definitely going to be needed)

This book...oh...I feel like I should buy EAB a drink.

Because damn it. I was entertained!

It wasn't the best book in the world. Trust.

Biggest concern: Editing. It's self pubbed - so if you don't mind things like age discrepancies, or changing hair colors, the story entertains. But the editing issues are glaring that even I noticed.

I'm waffling on where it rates, somewhere in the 3.5 to not quite-4 stars range.

This story is yaoi-ish, drama filled with Courtney (uke) and Sebastian (seme). Sebastian's age varies (editing issues) but I believe he's 10 years younger than Courtney, the married suburban lawyer husband who was secretly closeted. It takes the invited third to rattle Courtney's world. Our book's seme is fantasy quality - tall, dark and handsome. Add the chemistry and charisma he oozed and it was just delicious.

But it wasn't just hot seduction for 300+ pages.

Courtney is an asshole supreme. His self hatred and the way he views and treats others including Sebastian and Claire, Courtney's wife, can be vile. Courtney is so paranoid and deep in the closet, he can't seem to realize his effect in the first half of the book.

And Sebastian isn't a saint either. In fact, he's about maybe a level 6 on my scale of cray . *squints* He actually touched level 7 - those threats. *widen eyes*

So...triggers: non-con drugging/physical abuse/emotional abuse/ cheating

If this was a RL couple, I'd be calling the cops. Messy x infinity

I even questioned why once or twice...but their chemistry. It's undeniable. I don't think either one could function without the other. Vicious...crazytrain cycle.

And if they weren't fighting, they were sexing. The yaoi sex sound effects...(it could grate on a nerve after a while.) And these went at it...hard.

There's a HEA (I was a little worried there around 83%) and it all worked out in the end. Maybe a little too easily after trekking through the soap opera that was Courtney and Sebastian's love life.

The novel could benefit from an edit - it needs to be shaved down maybe 15-20%. And some areas could benefit being expanded on.

But for what I got now? Especially now...

Enjoyable introduction into EAB's writing for me (despite my gripes)

I don't recommend "The Straight Line" for everyone. More for readers who don't mind the triggers and liars.

aka readers like me.

*on the hunt for more books*

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review 2017-02-03 05:24
Ambitious...but the pay off didn't work for me.
Five-Sided Heart - Max MacGowan

A Hearts On Fire Review

3.5 HEARTS--Five Sided Heart by Max MacGowan is a polyamorous romance set in the Outer Banks. Told from multiple POV, the novel starts off with a funeral of one of the five men's father, Noah Trevelyan. Noah was kicked out his house for being gay at eighteen, and returned back to his hometown for the first time in years. He is an outcast to a majority of the islanders who view him as the prodigal son (in a way) but just way too late. One local who has no problem telling Noah how he feels about him is Ian, an out gay man and conservationist. He's been Noah's father's neighbor for the last 5 years. Another local doesn't share Ian's view due to having more than enough on his plate is young Ty. Ty and Ian get offered a ride on Noah's boat while trying to escape and Noah just so happens to invite two stranded strangers, Joshua and Gabriel.

What starts a good deed ends in a bit of a disaster. But the disaster is also the foundation of all the troubled men to start a relationship.

Five men in a relationship? You're probably thinking this was a fantab erotica.

Not so.

This is more of a romance, I think a little ambitious. But kudos for tackling a poly romance and trying to capture all of the mens' feelings. The story relies heavily on characters to get the story moving and, for me, it did not scratch enough of the surface for all men equally.

I have the honor of reading all of MacGowan's work, all of two. And with both books, the author has a way of piecing together the plot: with MacGowan's debut, the plot was told by different states visited. In this book, it was a different POV.

I would really like to read a simple plot from this author, that just follows the romantic leads (however many make up the partnership) where the characters get a deeper connection and further characterization. I rated both books by this author the same, but character wise, the debut was better. What did Noah do for a living? How could he stay for all those weeks with no cash flow? Gabriel and Joshua, the most damaged of the five, barely touched the surface onto their background. The crux of Ty's situation gets cutoff and somehow it left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

There were a number of times where that feeling happened- cut off scenes mostly - albeit sex scenes, the insta-connection, the kink of one of the guys. I'll stretch the rubber band of reality with five men who all just so happen to be gay on dock at the right time, who were open to be in a relationship.

And the last 15-20% was a soft finish. What's up with Ian's ex? If there was ever a guy to wish ill on, it's Ian's ex. He's a douche canoe and oddly needed to make the plot move. But the way he entered the book and the way he left, didn't match to how he was originally portrayed for me.

The men are a good group together - they all have their roles in the group: Noah is the paternal one, Ian is like a hen gathering his chicks and feeding them, Ty is happy-go-lucky and still a young pup, Gabriel is scarred, artistic and listens to what is said and unsaid and Joshua who had a rough patch is very intuitive and lives for the moment.

Good guys, I do think they'll last.

The sex takes a backseat to the romance, so if you've come for erotica, look somewhere else. It's an interesting read, but not something I'd re-read.

I think this would work best for fans of the Outer Banks and poly romances where the characters are developed just enough to keep the plot moving.

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review 2016-07-28 05:03
Because KNOTTING that's why!
Werewolves of Chernobyl - K.A. Merikan,L.A. Witt

3.75 HEARTS--

"Did I...did I just get fucked by a werewolf?


Yes I did.

Technically I'm still being fucked by a werewolf.

Because this hasn't been the weirdest leg of my journey."

Me when KNOTTING is mentioned:



All right, who are we kidding? This is me:



After reading who knows how many KNOTTING fics/stories, I can happily say KNOTTING is one of my favorite things about shifter stories. There's a (unicorn) scientific list of...requisites that makes for good KNOTTING.


This definitely covered the list.


A sample of KNOTTING winners:


Fat KNOTS forced inside tight holes

Biting (back of the neck is #1) while pumping semen into said hole

Tears and/or exclamations of the KNOT "not fitting"


"Werewolves of Chernobyl" isn't all about KNOTTING, but KNOT enthusiasts would appreciate the details.


Urban explorer and blogger Quinn is in the Ukraine on a Chernobyl tour. He lives for danger and adventure, sneaks off onto forbidden territory and gets the fright of his life. A living breathing werewolf. After a cute exchange (minus an injury), he think it'll be a lifetime experience. Wrong! Quinn leaves a bigger impression on the werewolf (bodark), Dima.


Dima is crippled due to a birth deformity, an arm doesn't fully function but it doesn't stop his determination to have that human be his "bitch". He recruits one of the strongest bodarks who also happens to be his childhood friend and lover, Nazar. Dima is small to Nazar's hulking bodark frame. But Nazar, has a little secret:


He's not happy with his assigned sexual role.

That feeling deep inside, making his cock hot and rigid as if he were about to come without even his dick being touched, made him realize in a half second that this was exactly what he wanted to be. Mounted, and serving another man with his body, and the pleasure originating inside him was proof of that.


Neither is another certain isolated bodark, pair that with their newly acquired human who comes from the outside world and the cultural differences are explosive.


I really love the idea of this novel. There are a lot of things going on, I mean just look at the blurb. The hierarchy, kidnapping, sexual roles, isolation, disability...it oddly worked for where the story went. Each guy brought something different to the table and for the most part, they had some depth to carry these emotions and issues out.


I like my triangles as equal as possible. And with these three, I think their dynamics are as equal as they could be. Each man has a role and they represent it - top, bottom, or switch to the best of their ability.


Though, if I could keep 2 out of the 3 together, I'd love it. Nazar and Dima wormed their way into my pocket.


Dima - the outcast due to his birth deformity, size and underdeveloped bodark skills (namely not being able to speak while in bodark form). He's the underdog and you can't help but root for him. He's hotheaded, rash and has a loyal heart. He's a true friend to Nazar, even when he got what he wanted, Nazar was never far from his heart nor brain - though bodarks have no time for feelings.


Nazar - the big guy who is supposed be alpha, used for his fighting skills and owns a gentle heart. He always put Dima first. That devotion is everlasting, you can see it when Dima would go off on a wild tangent. Nazar hovered in the background and let his Dima, his "bitch" test his claws, so to speak.


These friends had emotions to add to their sexy times. And the sex was rocking with those two and with Quinn.




Quinn - I tried to like him but I was ambivalent toward the end. He was obnoxious in a way. He didn't follow orders, even when he was told more than one time to follow the bodark custom with collars and he still didn't get it. He didn't listen to authorities...anyone really. He was too headstrong for my liking. Do I think he deserves Nazar and Dima? Not really. but he's the one for them (though I might be the only hoping that in the future they find someone who isn't as wishy washy) Quinn is a nice guy, he means well but sometimes he read disingenuous and the bodarks are all heart and truth.


There was some action and violence also added. But the ending was rushed. There were loose ends and major plot threads left unanswered or forgotten: such as who the Directorate was? What with the sudden change of heart from the alleged villain/top dog? What are these missions that Nazar went on? How did the escape exactly happen?


There were personality transplants here and there, which didn't make for consistent read. The last chapter or so was rushed, the epilogue wasn't any better. The sentiments are nice. There is an implied HEA/ strong HFN ending but there was room for more and areas that needed tightening up. The plot could have been stellar if the suspense angle was stronger and more defined. It was like reading 10th draft mixed in with 2nd drafts in spots. There were a couple of typos but it didn't detract from the story.


Overall, good story. Pretty good. I thought it was going to be sex-a-palooza and it wasn't the plot ideas with cultural differences were the biggest draw for me. (Yes, even over the KNOTTING). I was fascinated by the bodark culture. I wanted to know all the ins and outs, the hierarchy, maybe deeper knowledge of the main players.


I like these authors playing together in the sandbox. I think they played to each others strengths, for the most part.


I would definitely read another story based in this world, this trio of authors created. Isolated bodarks make for interesting stories.









Lots more KNOTTING please?


*This message has been approved by the KNOTTING Fans Association.


A copy provided for an honest review.

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review 2016-07-05 03:26
Can ghosts get an erection? *ponders*
Callum's Fate - Dianne Hartsock

A Hearts On Fire Review

3.5 HEARTS--Actual questions I had while reading "Callum's Fate" by Dianne Hartsock:

'Can ghosts' cocks get hard?'


'Do ghosts have precome? What's the flavor and viscosity?'

I stopped reading plenty of times to ponder these things, since there was massive ghost erections.

"Pity. You would have lost your mind to the pleasure I could show you." [...] It slanted a sly look at Sean, then put its lips to Donal's ear. "Next time, come alone, darling. You won't regret it. I'll make sure you scream when you come."

For my second Hartsock read, I'm learning she can turn up the heat with her sex scenes. They're erotic and mesh well with the way she writes her characters. And in this erotic, historical fantasy short/PWP, there was a lot of sex, starting at page one.

In Callum's Fate, don't expect a massive detailed plot. Expect stiff dicks, multiple partners and fantasy creatures. Oh...and double penetration and felching too. ;P

Callum, the star of the short, is on the run in the magical moors in Scotland. The ginger virgin gets accosted...in a pleasurable way by something that comes from nightmares but he just rolls with it. This starts as sort of horror, mostly fantasy tale where he's saved by fae, felt up by will-o-wisps and has a gangbang...because...the reason didn't seem to be as important as shedding that cherry. Side note: a virgin who just takes to cock so readily and massive ones (at the same time once) just doesn't seem as plausible.

But the PWP had charm, likeable characters and an interesting secondary plot with another gay couple that's being forced in a way to be a triad (with a female but the three are more a V than a triangle).

Had I known what creatures would have been involved, namely the ghost, I wouldn't have read this. Thank goodness the creatures are called by different names.

Other than reading the blurb, the book could have been set during any historical period. In fact, it might have been better to leave it as fantasy, because that's essentially what it is. Nothing really historical about it other than the Scottish human players. It could have been a imaginary world.

What was Callum running from in the beginning? Couldn't tell you. I don't think he even knows.

This story could have been better with a little more plot and filler because Donal/Sean (secondary characters) were more interesting than Callum. Though the ginger gets an A for effort on sex scenes. Flexible where it counts.

The ending was a little rushed for both couples...throuples? I don't even know. They switched partners a lot...let's say it starts with a virgin and a couple, ends with 2 triads who are in open relationships.

Recommended for readers who don't mind switch partners, not much plot and enjoys fantasy PWP. It's a quick read and cool concept overall.

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review 2016-07-02 20:53
Wanted to know where your missing 'fuck' went? I found them! ;D
A Bear Walks Into a Bar - Eden Winters

3.25 Hearts--

"Oh, yes, stretched, lubed, and ready, just the way Sawyer liked his holes."

A Bear Walks Into A Bar is a shifter pornucopia! Readers of PWP who want to cramp their hands from a faptastic time, this is a book for you!

Ever been in the mood to just read about dicks, cum and multiple partners? Yeah?

Or just wanted to cut the middle man, leave the gushy romance words and get down to the fucking...a lot? As a lover of PWP, I can say this is one to jizz read. Get your towels ready! Practice those nifty hand exercises, your hand(s) will get a workout!

Wait! Let me get to the book first before you start, Naughty!

This book is about a lot of shifters, but the most important is the Urso, or head alpha bear, Sawyer. He's a grizzly, rich bear who is approaching hibernation season (late fall to spring). There is talk of four shifters encroaching his territory with a new bar and he can't have that. He's the boss and the boss needs to know what is going on at all times. He's slinging major meat between his legs and he has no problem wielding it to get his way and show his power.

So he enters their bar, meets Dillon - a boar bear, Jerry and his cousin Kevin, alpha and beta wolves and Brad, the horniest fox shifter ever. The four shifter men were ousted from their shifter clans. Sawyer takes a sniff of their lusty power and joins the group in ménage à cinq. Sweet Cheesus, was that a hot howdy do!

How'd that get there? *fake blush*

To get the most enjoyment from this story:

1) Don't take it too seriously.
2) Know it's about 85-90% sex, the rest is plot (plot's there but paper thin)
3) Don't mind open relationships

"Sex is a tool, like any other, to garner loyalty, win support, let off steam, or exert dominance."

I'm a reader who doesn't mind a heavy dose of sex in a story and this book found all of the fucks from the world to use.

You might not have a fuck to give because A Bear Walks Into a Bar, has taken your fuck. It's reaping in football fields of fucks all around the world. This book might win the fuck prize because of its abundant use.

There was so much sex, is there such a thing as contact jizz on the face?

And even with the abundant sex with multiple partners, it wasn't boring, just saturated.

The wolves love to play. The bears in hibernation mode = major horny. There are elk shifters that really impressed me with being able to stand out with all the other hot shifter men around. And of course, Brad, the horny ginger fox shifter: "Power bottom didn't come close to describing Brad."

Fox shifters aren't monogamous and are always down for having a good time with as many people as they can.

"What did one get when they entered a room with two or more fox shifters? Fucked to death. But what a way to go."

Brad's a great representation of that. He was like an Energizer bunny that guy. Nothing stopped him after coming to find more cock to stuff inside.

There wasn't much kink, barely any. What to find? Double penetration, a sex sling, many variations of multiple pairings - the highest number was a ménage à huit! That was a slick, fluids filled fun time.

An 8-some for those who need to visualize.

The plot? It's about bonding, finding mates and forming alliances among different shifter factions. The shifters couple up but that doesn't stop the fuck train. And the author wrote it in a way with their shifter mindset, the sex is just like a welcome, or show of dominance, or just a way to share their power. Shifters exude powers more so during sex, so they'll love to have plentiful and often. Given their natures in this book, it wasn't any surprise why it was sex all the time.

But the plot is not as strong as it could have been. There were parts where the story slacked off like Rudy, the current alpha wolf who has a power hungry beta who wants his place. A showdown wouldn't have been remiss. Some spots in the story were a little dull, a little heavy on the exclamation points, a little cheesy.

But in the story's favor, it was easy to follow and I didn't mix up who was who or should I say, who was doing who. It's not a serious book, I had a fun time reading their bonding and I didn't get jizz in my eye, a plus.

Would I recommend? Not for every reader.
If you prefer a couple who only are dedicated to themselves, try Eden Winters, "Naked Tails". It's my fave shifter story from this author with possum shifters! Romantic comedy FTW!

So in closing, here's my favorite quote:

"Hi, I'm Brad. Have I blown you yet?"

Not yet, Brad, not yet.

For my NSFW (aka porn-y) review:

A copy provided for an honest review.

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