Unveiling the Anxiety of Speaking to People

Do you feel anxious when faced with the prospect of speaking to people? You are not alone. Many individuals experience anxiety in social situations, especially regarding verbal communication. This blog aims to explore the nature of this anxiety, discuss its normalcy in public speaking, delve into the fear associated with speaking to people, and understand how anxiety contributes to the fear of talking.

Understanding the Anxiety of Speaking to People

What is the Anxiety of Speaking to People?

The anxiety of speaking to people refers to the apprehension, nervousness, and discomfort individuals experience when communicating verbally with others. It can manifest in various forms, such as social anxiety, performance anxiety, or specific phobias related to speaking in public. The fear of judgment, criticism, or the anticipation of saying something wrong can trigger anxiety, making it challenging to communicate effectively.

Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is a type of anxiety that arises from the fear of being judged, embarrassed, or humiliated in social situations. When speaking to people, individuals with social anxiety may experience excessive self-consciousness, worry about being the centre of attention, and fear being negatively evaluated by others.

Performance Anxiety

Performance anxiety, often associated with public speaking, is the fear of performing inadequately or being scrutinised by an audience. The pressure to deliver a flawless presentation or speech can trigger intense anxiety, leading to physical symptoms such as rapid heartbeat, sweating, trembling, and mental distress.

Specific Phobias

Some individuals may have specific phobias related to speaking in public or certain social situations. These phobias can arise from traumatic past experiences or learned associations, causing an intense fear response when confronted with similar problems. Such phobias can significantly impact an individual's communication and engagement ability.

Is Anxiety Normal in Public Speaking?

Examining Anxiety in Public Speaking

Anxiety in public speaking is a common occurrence, even among seasoned speakers. It is perfectly normal to feel a certain level of anxiety before presenting to a group of people. The adrenaline rush and heightened state of alertness can enhance performance and focus. However, excessive anxiety that interferes with one's communication ability must be addressed.

The Yerkes-Dodson Curve

The Yerkes-Dodson curve illustrates the relationship between anxiety and performance. This curve shows moderate anxiety levels can enhance performance, leading to increased motivation, focus, and energy. However, performance declines due to excessive nervousness and mental overload when anxiety levels become too high.

Managing Anxiety in Public Speaking

To manage anxiety in public speaking, individuals can employ various strategies. These may include:

• Preparation: Thoroughly preparing and practising the presentation or speech can boost confidence and reduce anxiety. Familiarity with the material helps individuals feel more secure in their knowledge and delivery.
  
  
• Deep Breathing and Relaxation Techniques: Engaging in deep breathing exercises and relaxation techniques, such as progressive muscle relaxation or meditation, can help calm the mind and body, reducing anxiety symptoms.
  
  
• Positive Visualisation: Visualising successful outcomes and positive experiences before the speaking engagement can help individuals build confidence and alleviate anxiety.
  
  

Understanding Glossophobia: The Fear of Speaking to People

Unveiling Glossophobia

The fear of speaking to people is commonly known as glossophobia. It is an intense fear or anxiety associated with speaking in front of others. Glossophobia can range from mild discomfort to extreme distress, causing individuals to avoid public speaking situations. This fear can hinder personal and professional growth, limiting opportunities for self-expression and engagement.

The Impact of Glossophobia

Glossophobia can have profound effects on individuals' lives. It can lead to missed opportunities, hinder career advancement, and limit personal growth. The fear of speaking to people can create significant stress and anxiety, negatively impacting self-esteem and overall well-being.

Overcoming Glossophobia

While glossophobia can be challenging to overcome, it is not insurmountable. Here are a few strategies to help individuals face and conquer their fear:

• Gradual Exposure: Gradually exposing oneself to speaking in front of others can desensitise the fear response over time. Starting with small, supportive groups and progressively working towards larger audiences can help build confidence.
  
  
• Seeking Support: Joining public speaking groups or enrolling in courses that offer a supportive environment can provide guidance, feedback, and encouragement. Learning from experienced speakers and sharing experiences with like-minded individuals can help individuals overcome their fear.
  
  
• Developing Communication Skills: Enhancing overall communication skills, such as active listening, non-verbal communication, and structuring thoughts effectively, can boost confidence in speaking to people.
  
  

Why Anxiety Causes a Fear of Talking

Unraveling the Connection between Anxiety and the Fear of Talking

Anxiety can cause a fear of talking due to several factors:

1. Fear of Judgement: Anxiety amplifies the fear of being judged or evaluated negatively by others. Expecting criticism or disapproval can create a sense of vulnerability, leading to self-consciousness and inhibiting natural conversation.
   
   
2. Perfectionism and High Expectations: Individuals with anxiety may place undue pressure on themselves to meet unrealistically high standards in their communication. The fear of making mistakes or being unable to express thoughts perfectly can intensify anxiety and hinder effective conversation.
   
   
3. Negative Self-Perception: Anxiety can distort one's self-perception, causing individuals to perceive themselves as inadequate or inferior in social interactions. This negative self-image reinforces the fear of talking and contributes to a cycle of anxiety.
   
   

Cognitive Distortions

Cognitive distortions, such as overgeneralising, catastrophising, and personalising, can further fuel anxiety and the fear of talking. These distorted thought patterns create a biased lens through which individuals interpret social interactions, leading to heightened anxiety and avoidance behaviours.

Breaking the Cycle

Breaking the cycle of anxiety and fear of talking involves challenging negative thoughts and adopting more realistic and positive perspectives. Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) techniques, such as cognitive restructuring and exposure therapy, can help address these cognitive distortions and gradually reduce anxiety.

Overcoming Anxiety and Embracing Effective Communication

If you find yourself experiencing anxiety when it comes to speaking to people, remember that it is a common challenge faced by many. By understanding the nature of this anxiety, acknowledging its normalcy in public speaking, and recognising its fear, you can take steps towards overcoming your anxiety.

Seeking professional support, practising relaxation techniques, and gradually exposing yourself to social situations can help manage and reduce anxiety. Remember that effective communication is a skill that can be learned and improved upon. With time, patience, and self-compassion, you can conquer your anxiety and develop confidence in your ability to communicate with others.

So, take a deep breath, step out of your comfort zone, and embrace the journey of growth and self-expression. You can overcome your anxiety and communicate with clarity, confidence, and authenticity.

If you resonate with the experiences described in this blog and struggle with anxiety when speaking to people, know that you are not alone. Take the first step towards overcoming your anxiety by seeking professional support, joining public speaking groups, or enrolling in communication courses. Embrace the journey of growth and self-expression, and remember that with practice, patience, and self-compassion, you can develop the confidence to communicate effectively with others. Don't let anxiety stop you from expressing your thoughts and connecting with people. Start your journey today and unlock your full communication potential.

© Presence Training

Hitohito Tadano has somehow been accepted to Itan Private High School, an elite prep school, despite being average in every way. His primary goal is to blend in and not make any waves.

This becomes difficult after he meets Komi, the cool, distant, and elegant girl who sits next to him in class. Tadano gradually comes to the realization that Komi isn't actually cool and distant, but rather incredibly socially anxious and bad at talking to people. Forgetting his own goals, Tadano becomes determined to help her.

I'm not sure how I feel about this series yet.

Komi was cute and, as a socially anxious person myself (although not nearly as bad), I really felt for her. And Tadano was super sweet - I loved the chalkboard conversation he had with Komi, and the way he forced himself to do something he wasn't really wild about, talk to Najimi, to help Komi make friends and connect with others. I wasn't happy about the occasional sexual jokes involving Najimi, though, and I hope Najimi's ambiguous gender doesn't become some kind of ongoing joke.

The various attempts to help Komi gain new friends and do "normal" social things were hit-or-miss for me. I loved the storyline involving Komi, her new phone, and her efforts to create her first contacts list, but I was unmoved by the group games story. Najimi's "go buy me a Frappuccino or I won't be your friend anymore" quest was a bit painful to watch, but at least Najimi realized after it was over that they'd been cruel and rightfully apologized to Komi. And while Himiko Agari, another anxious student, should have been a great new friend for Komi, that entire storyline was ruined by her off-putting "I want to be your dog" moment.

I'm a little worried that, since this is a comedy series, its focus will be on "Komi's ridiculous new friend of the week" and "watch Komi somehow make friends despite being unable to speak" rather than on any sort of character growth or even deepening of Komi's friendships. I'm not a fan of Komi's "make 100 friends" goal, and I hope that, at some point, she realizes that deepening her relationships with the friends she currently has might be more worthwhile than making a few dozen new "friends" she barely knows.

The premise reminds me a little of Kimi Ni Todoke, only more focused on humor than on romance (so far, at least). At the moment, I prefer that series, because of its focus on the heroine's POV and her deepening friendships with those around her, to this one, which feels more focused on Tadano and his perception of Komi. I'll probably read the next volume of Komi Can't Communicate at some point, to get a better idea of where Oda might be taking the series, but it'll more than likely be via a library checkout rather than another purchase.

Extras:

A couple pages of extra comics that basically boil down to "Najimi and Komi are complete opposites and likely incapable of ever understanding one another."

(Original review posted on A Library Girl's Familiar Diversions.)

Trigger Warning: Animal death, though no photos of a dead animal, just my last photo of her alive. Long blog, but I promise there is book related content as well.

My hamster Mogget was put on death watch a few days ago. We had to move her to a smaller enclousure, because old age was making it hard for her to get around. Well on the 4th, in the morning, she became unable to move and fell into a deep sleep, her breaths slowed down and right before the end, she opened her eyes one last time and I feel like she looked at me to say goodbye. I'm not sure if she was aware of anything, but it is comforting to believe she realized she wasn't alone and was able to go without being scared.

[In a deep sleep and I hope she felt comfortable]

[Photo was taken a while ago. Might be hard to tell, but the tree in the middle that has vines. She is now in front of that, behind the rock.]

As you can imagine, I was really upset all day (still am) and just wanted to distract myself, play with our other furry butts, clean...etc. In the photo, we're trying to go through DVDs and our cat Apollo just wants to play in the tote.

[I think she wants to have a Buffy or Farscape marathon!]

My husband is really sweet; he took me to Barnes & Noble as more disctraction so I could get 2 books I really wanted. They were having another buy 2 get 1 free sale, but that man was there again and I had a panic/anxiety episode and refused to check out with him. (See previous blog about the man who was rude to me there last time.)

Patrick offered to do it alone, but I did not want to deal with the buy 2 get 1 fiasco all over again with the same rude cashier. (They didn’t have signs up again!) Right in the store, I went online and bought 3 books for my Kindle, through Amazon (of course) and paid less than what I would have with the buy 2 get 1 sale. (Actually spent only 3$ more what 1 book would have cost.)

Ugh! I love those books I wanted so much (despite not reading them yet lol) and I love Kindle books, but I really wanted the physical books to add to my physical collection of the books I already had by the same author. All is well. I will look out for the physical copies one day online (used & lower priced than what B&N was charging.)

B&N pretty much lost a customer while that guy is working the register.

****

The books I got is from the Your Name (Kimi no Na wa) series by Makoto Shinkai. 2 light novels, 1 manga. Japan calls books based on anime or manga “Light novels.”

There is a full length animated movie, 3 manga based on the movie, 1 light novel based on the anime/movie, 1 light novel that is side stories, 1 manga that is based on the side stories. Phew. It sounds confusing.

The movie is so beautiful and I loved it so much. The manga based on the movie wasn't as impactful as the movie was, but I really enjoyed it, too. It really was a touching story for me. The artwork is stunning. The movie made me cry at the end. I just had to have the novels, and the manga based on the side story.

It is the 2nd largest grossing domestic film in Japan (That is all movies, not just anime!) and the fourth-largest ever, behind Titanic and Frozen. 11th grossing non-English film in the USA. (At the time of writing this.) Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 97% & 4.6/5 rating. IMDB.com is at 8.4/10.

That should tell you how much this movie & books impacted people. Listen up, folks! Anime, cartoons, and animated films, comics, graphic novels, manga and all that are not just for children! I’m playing this up because I want you to watch the movie and then read the manga, then the novels! Go do it!

My collection so far:
Physical:
Vol 1-3 Your Name manga. (Follows the anime pretty closely!)

Digital:
The Your Name Movie (On Vudu.com. But I want the Limited Edition Bluray that comes packaged in a holographic art box, comes with a hardcover art book, 2 soundtracks (English & Japanese ver.) and is just stunning, but it is so pricey!!)

[This is what you get in the limited edition! I know I can buy the soundtracks alone probably, but I really want that art book!]

Your Name light novel on Kindle (It is supposed to follow the anime/manga pretty closely, but with added background info...etc.

Your Name: Another Side: Earthbound light novel on Kindle (Based on characters from the anime/manga and some of their side stories...etc.)

Your Name: Another Side: Earthbound manga on Kindle (The manga of the above.)

Yes, I'm a nerd.

(Do me a favor, give your animals (if you have any) a great big cuddle if they will let you.)