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review 2017-09-12 19:33
Alice in Zombieland (would definitely be the first to die)
Alice in Zombieland - Gena Showalter

Sorry this review is late in coming, but this was a buddy read for August and I wanted no spoilers. 

 

So...this book...yeah....NO. JUST NO.

 

Ali is everything a Mary Sue can be. She's pretty in a painful Arian way. She's stupid in short-bus, first to die, trip her and save yourself ways. She has no redeeming qualities. She is also the kind of girl that falls for the abusive asshole just because he's pretty. She makes me sick.

 

Cole is your typical handles-everything-with-his-fists guy. He's gorgeous, of course. But you cannot pretty up this guy's insides. He's just nasty. He gets his way at school by glaring, rage and fear. Him and his posse don't even seem to know what a dress code is, wearing chains and sleeves of tattoos. And ankle monitors. Wtf? He says terrible things to people, he's bossy, and he's grabby if you attempt to walk away. He will also stick you in his car and drive you around but not tell you where you are going. Yes, folks, he's kidnappy. 

 

Now, the "zombies" in this book are the weirdest imagining of them I have ever come across. Soul eating ghost things that can only be seen by special snowflakes. Of course Ali is one. And of course she ends up being like and Alpha zombie hunter with uber super powers the likes of which have never been seen. 

 

Yet I swear she never sleeps. She should be dead. It's just not humanly possible to go that long without sleep, folks.

 

And with everyone in her life dying, what does Ali learn? To "live life", or in Ali speak, fuck her boyfriend, the abusive, two-faced, half-the-time-I-hate-you Cole. Her friend says she has kidney failure and the ONLY thing Ali learns is "I need to get busy with Cole because we may not have much time". Man, her priorities. Totally ignoring the fact zombies are coming out of the woodwork every night to eat her and half her loved ones are now buried. She needs to bang. God, she was sickening in her shallow one-dimensionalness. Like, Bella Swan shallow. 

 

The plot was lacking and stupid. The only character I liked was her terminally ill best friend. There was a guy named Frostie. Yes, that was his name. Did we ever learn his real name? No. Because that's just how stupid and juvenile this whole adventure down the rabbit hole was. In no way was this a Wonderland tale. It was a poorly written, cliche teen drama that makes The Vampire Diaries look deep. 

 

Ugh. I cannot believe I bought the trilogy.

 

 

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review 2017-08-04 14:33
Alice in Zombieland
Alice in Zombieland - Gena Showalter

...is stupid.

 

Will review later. She made my head hurt.

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review 2016-08-20 20:47
Review: My Lady Jane
My Lady Jane - Brodi Ashton,Jodi Meadows,Cynthia Hand

Here is where I'm sure a lot of people will unfollow me, but I have read over 300 pages of this mess and I have yet to say "this is everything it was hyped to be". Spoilers ahead.

 

Jane was endearing at first. Her love of books was sweet. But like I have stated preciously, funny books never seem funny. They end up stupid or obnoxious. Aaaaaand this one did too. What was funny at first became old and nerve-grating. Like the titles of books Jane read. Etheeuhns: Historical Figures and Their Downfall, Wilderness Survival for Courtiers, Herbs and Spices Indigenous to the Spanish Highlands, volume 2, The Proper Treatment of Wounds on the Battlefield During the War of the Roses, a history. There are more but this is a taste. I get that this book is supposed to be in the style of the Princess Bride but it was still obnoxious.

 

Then there was the overly convenient plot points. Whenever someone needed an escape, a person who previously had no ability to shape shift could suddenly change and run away. It just seemed like weak writing. Again, this is just my opinion.

 

This book had its moments of humor, but mostly it fell flat and disappointed me.

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review 2016-08-12 03:48
Review: Fathomless
Fathomless - Jackson Pearce

Short review for a short read.

 

I keep reading mermaid books, praying to find one that leaps out at me. This one fell flat. It wasn't terrible, but it was just sort of blah. The writing wasn't special, the scenery was sort of generic. The main character being a triplet was a nice change, but there just wasn't anything different about this. 

 

And by the end, you still have unanswered questions. What are the ocean girls, really? What are the "angels"? Where did the "angels" go? Do the ocean girls eat? The story was good enough to entertain a tween, but not an adult.

 

I did like Lo, however. Bless her tortured heart.

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review 2016-03-22 18:43
Boundless by Cynthia Hand
Boundless - Cynthia Hand

This is like Penryn & the End of Days series all over. Okay, not quite, because I still liked the second book in that series whereas I detested the second on in this series. In both cases though, in the last book, morals were shoved down the reader's throat in a way that the previous books hadn't. Let me explain, but first a quick summary of the last book in the Unearthly series.

In Boundless Clara is back and the (supposed) suspense is trapping up. There's talk about a war. Clara struggles with her feelings for Christian and her own purpose. Angela, in the meanwhile, is acting strange. All in all though, the last book of the series is lacking in suspense (all twists are obvious from the go). It's boring with its predictability. What should've been a big part of this story (the only interesting part) is severed down to around thirty pages.

But that's not what I want to talk about, not really. In book two, the religious aspects were increased, as well as the accompanying morals this brings. Now, before anyone jumps to Christianity's defense, I personally believe everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and I know not all Christians are the same and have the same morals and/or values. That said, in Boundless stereotypical Christian morals are glaringly present. Saving oneself for marriage. A girl having sex for the first time with a fling ends up pregnant. Non-believers are presented as immoral, with tattoos and little clothing. A female angel's purpose in life can be to bear a child. Or, given these quotes:

"You healed him until you passed out, until you stopped breathing yourself for a few seconds, and then Jeffrey thumped him on the chest a few times, gave him a couple of puffs that I’m sure neither of them will ever want to talk about again, and he came back."

“We’re not—” I sigh. “It’s complicated. We don’t want to be together because somebody told us that we have to be.”
“And by ‘somebody’ you mean God, right?”
Of course it sounds insanely arrogant of me, insisting on a relationship on my own terms, when she puts it like that.


Along with some events in the first and second book, it's hard to overlook this. Not to mention that when the ending comes, the heroine relies on, not one, but two male MCs to help her save the day. In the first case, she needs one's strength to find her own. Yeah, not quite a great message to send to young girls. Hey, to be strong you'll need a strong man to help you find your strength. The second time, it's love that saves the day. Meaning that, if the heroine had not loved the male hero, she wouldn't be able to save them. Basically, in the end, the heroine wouldn't actually be able to do something on her own without her two male companions. Given that Clara is described as perfect, doesn't this send quite the message? Even a perfect young woman can't save herself and her friends without help from a man.

A poor ending to what could've been a good trilogy.

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